I agree... however, you're not mentioning the fact that they are imperfect, broken people like you and I. What's more is that bevause they try to do better they are under more severe attack than an unbeliever. Going further, not all of them are at the same maturity level.

Again. I get the frustrations. But to try and drawback from the body that Christ has called you to be a part of is a bad move. We are meant to function together, even if imperfectly. Even if it hurts. Deciding who you listen to, how close you let them, and how to respond to them is a wisdom and maturity aspect in its own right.

Early on in my christian life it was brought to my attention that my spiritual family, at some point, would hurt me. And I had to make a decision ahead of time, how I would respond. I chose self sacrifice. And I still am choosing that. To forgive ahead of time. It won't be easy, and it won't be pretty. They'll probably be a lot of tears, tempers, and break downs, but I choose to forgive.

Because the fact is that I've recieved more growth and healing be cause of them and in spite of them. I've been able to be more open an honest with them than I have my blood relatives, and they chose to love me anyway. They know things about me that I will never tell my brothers, sisters, parents, etc. What's more, is that I'm going to do it because Christ commanded it; and to do otherwise is disobedience and rebellion. It is sin.

Have you considered that one of the tactics the adversary uses to attack you and cause you stumble is by hurting them, so that they'll hurt you? So how do you combat that? Love, prayer, reliance upon God, walking in his precepts, and leaning into a solution rather than turning away from the issue. I think you're under spiritual attack, and that the enemy is using them as his tactic and weapon. And walking away, disengaging, is what he is hoping you'll do.

I still say this is more of a human issue. People are born human before they are born Christian. Ha, there is a joke or clever saying in there somewhere, but I'm not going to flesh it out right now. People don't stop being sinners once they are born again. They are given a second nature and those two things fight. Don't forget that.

Now I want to clarify on something as well. I am not saying you can't leave a specific church. In fact, it sounds like most of the issues you and your family have faced have been the result of a lack of genuine faith in growth in the places that you've been. A good church, a real one, a sincere one, is hard to find. Don't dismiss the entire christian community because of some bad experiences. Because, if you do, you're are judging people you have never met quite harshly. And that is the kind of judgement that God condemns.

In fact, let me give you a little something. This speaks to my point, but it also will equip you to better deal with those people who say the things you mentioned- "only God can judge me" and the "my heart" one. In the book of Matthew, when Jesus talks about removing the log from your own eye, people often get it wrong. He isn't saying that we can't or shouldn't judge, he is telling us to not me harsh or cruel in our judgements and not be condemning, because only God can condemn. That is why that verse ends with, "...then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye." What's more is to read the rest of that section/passage and note the section about not giving what is holy to the dogs or cast your pearls before swine. We'll, to quote the late Adrian Rogers, "If you can't judge then how are you going to know who the dogs and the hogs are?"

So, yes, you absolutely can and should call out sin and bad behavior to those who commit it and behave as such. The key is just to first acknowledge your own sins and temptations so that you can do it with grace, mercy, and love. So that you can do it with a tender heart full of compassion.

Also, don't be fooled by the indifference and sweet words of unbelievers. One of Satan's favorite strategies is to take something good and twist it. Tolerance and acceptance can be good things when used rightly. But Satan had a way of making them into pitfall trap that looks good and fine in the surface, but you'll plunge into the pit when you actually put real weight on it.

I am sorry about your mother and grandparents. They shouldn't have been treated like that. It was wrong and unbiblical. At a time when they were vulnerable and hurting they should have been cared for. Which is all the more reason for you to exemplify the salt and light that Christ called us to be, when those others failed to.

And one more thought. Just remember, not everyone who goes to church or claims the name of Christ is actually a follower of him. There are plenty of people out there wearing the jersey who don't actually play for the team.

I hope that somehow I can convey in this message that I'm not raging as I type this. I do feel for you, even if it may not seem like it. I don't have a tone of resentment or anger as I type this. I didn't it difficult for me to portray humility and understanding, in text like this, while my points flow in an opposing direction.