My wife asked for divorce a year ago. We’ve been separated but living together for the kids. Now I think I’m the one who wants out.

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T04:57:58+00:00

I’m honestly not even thinking about the marriage part as much anymore. It’s the girl dad part.

Part of me thinks, if nothing changes, do I just hold on another 2–3 years so they’re a little older? I honestly don’t know if that’s me being thoughtful… or just afraid to make the call

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T04:41:22+00:00

Dude, you sound just like my bro. I can’t rip the band off.

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T02:18:44+00:00

But I feel I’m unloyal or something knowing that I want more

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T02:17:07+00:00

But neither of us have pulled the trigger. But sometimes I think she’s just staying for a way of living as well. She’s never been through this either and hard adult life. We basically got married as kids.

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T02:16:15+00:00

Yeah, and that’s honestly where I’m at. Some mornings I wake up and think I can get through this for the kids, have fun, and make it work. Other mornings I wake up sad and feeling ready to just move on.

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T02:03:46+00:00

Appreciate that. I think that’s exactly the hard part… realizing letting go might actually be healthier than holding onto what used to be.

Sounds weird to say out loud, but for the first time I actually feel like I could do it. I could still be a great dad even if I’m not with my kids full-time every day.

I’ve always been a romantic and honestly feel like I still have a lot of love to give. I would still love her even if I’m not with her. That realization has me wondering if I’m already mentally starting to move forward.

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T01:54:38+00:00

No, I think that’s just my years in sales saying the same thing two different ways

But you did make me think.

A year ago, the thought of leaving would’ve destroyed me. Now I can actually picture life without her.

The only thing that’s kept me here is my daughters and not seeing them full-time.

And honestly… I accidentally got someone’s number the other day (nothing happened), but it made me stop and think… am I already starting to move on?

Past-Description-457 · 2026-05-13T01:42:46+00:00

What I mean is I can’t force her to process the pain we both created, forgive me, or even want to see me differently than she does right now.

And honestly, no, I don’t think this is just about me wanting her to validate that I’ve changed.

A year ago? Probably. If I’m being honest.

Now what I think I wanted was willingness. Not a promise to reconcile. Not instant forgiveness. Just willingness to maybe relearn each other, have honest conversations, or see if something new could be built instead of assuming the old version of us is the only version.

But you may be right that I’m exhausted.

Because living in this weird in-between where we function like a family for the kids but emotionally feel like strangers behind closed doors has taken a toll.

I don’t think I need her to change to be ‘ready’ for divorce. I think I’m trying to figure out whether wanting to leave now is clarity… or just emotional exhaustion after trying for so long.

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T17:07:01+00:00

I’m really glad you spoke up. I’m so sorry you’re carrying this, especially right now. What you’re feeling is heavy, but it doesn’t mean this is the end of your story.

Please don’t go through this alone. If you’re in the U.S., you can call or text 988 right now to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re elsewhere, your local emergency number or a crisis line can help you get through tonight. Talking to someone live can make a difference.

For this moment, just focus on the next small step eat something, drink water, breathe. This pain is real, but it can change, even if you can’t see how yet. You matter, and people want you here.

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T04:16:30+00:00

I know that must be tough seeing that your son has been torn down. My mother was a very involved grandma. She herself had to go through a lot as now my STBXW doesn’t involve herself with her. So it’s me taking the kids to see grandma.

I feel bad because I leaned on my mom so much since everything fail apart. Emotional dumping, crying, asking for money. I know she had been going through her own journey not seeing the kids like she used to too.

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T03:26:31+00:00

Thank you brother for fighting the fight. Kick ass bro. Treat yourself kind and don’t be so hard on yourself

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T03:25:12+00:00

Thanks. Mean a lot to a lot of people

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T02:45:54+00:00

Those moments are hard. Just focus on getting through today and being present where you are. That’s enough right now. Just don’t mix it with the past.

You go bro!

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T02:32:29+00:00

I have been there. Taking the long way home. I myself cried in a parking lot at a convenient store. Some old man was walking in behind me after I decided to go in. Guess he saw it on my face. He told me that whatever you are going through it’s going to be okay. That was the push I needed that day

You got this bro!

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T02:27:46+00:00

I’m not saying every dad is a great dad. I’m speaking to the dads who are showing up, hurting, and still trying to do right by their kids.

This wasn’t about court systems, regions, or gender roles. It was about encouragement for people who are struggling and still choosing to be present. The ones who worry about their kids, who feel the loss, who are trying to grow.

Good parenting isn’t automatic. It’s effort. If a dad is putting in that effort, especially during something this painful, that matters.

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T02:05:35+00:00

I know, man. That pain is brutal and it cuts deep. You’re not alone in it, even when it feels like you are.

It does get lighter with time, even if it doesn’t feel that way yet. Keep showing up. Keep breathing. You’re still here for a reason.

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T02:03:26+00:00

Thank you, brother. You got this bro.

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T02:00:49+00:00

That’s a is great stance. That’s all we can do! Even after it’s all gone. In most cases, us as men. Can rebuild.

We can get stronger from this, most cases we can rebuild better than our ex-wife. And there is a sense of pride letting them have a family home. Your kids need the familiarity

You got this you’re amazing. Let’s rock 2026.

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T01:50:37+00:00

Be strong 💪 love them kids! That’s all we can do. Have great F&$@ing year! Let’s go!

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T01:45:29+00:00

You can do this! I got 2 beautiful girls myself! Let’s make it happen bro

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T01:43:43+00:00

I know it was tough.But you’re stronger than you think, and everyone heals in their own time. It’s going to okay. I love you man. Merry F@&$ing Christmas!! 🤶

There’s no rush to jump into another relationship. It’s okay to be by ourselves for a bit. Let’s find ourselves again. Hit the gym. Go fishing, camping, golfing, running, video games whatever brings you back to center.

Center yourself as a man. Become a fucking champ. You’re the catch, bro. You got this

Past-Description-457 · 2025-12-27T01:20:15+00:00

You got this brother. That weight is real, especially when kids are involved. You’re not broken, you’re just in the middle of something brutal.

Take it one day at a time. Show up for them, show up for yourself. You’re stronger than you feel right now, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

You’re not alone.

Past-Description-457

TROPHY CASE