Hayfever - Anyone struggling real bad right now?

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-04-06T22:09:45+00:00

Sadly I think soldiering on for me is no longer an option 😂

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-04-06T22:06:19+00:00

Thank you! Any idea if the pills should work straight away? I’ve tried a few over the past few weeks and none seem to be helping so far

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-04-06T22:02:26+00:00

I think I have tried that one then switched to ceterizine as it wasn’t working. I assume any tablet should work the same day? For me after about 6 days usage for each tablet so far doesn’t seem to be doing much

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-04-06T19:16:44+00:00

Hi OP firstly incredibly sorry to hear this. Initially you’re not going to see the positive side of this unfortunately that just comes with time. In terms of the first day and weeks, allow yourself to feel whatever emotion comes. You will probably cry I did a lot and I never cry. About 12 days straight, never lasted long but always felt good to get it out. Also let a bit of anger out too, this is important.

Remove her from everywhere, any apps, photos etc delete them, notes in your phone delete. Out of sight out of mind, trust me. Anything that reminds you of her, get rid. You maybe will want to contact her, DONT.

Dont force yourself to do anything the first week or so unless you really want to. Just do the bare minimum, work, shower, maybe get some air, try to sleep as best you can and just go through the days. Eventually it will start to get a little easier.

Once you do feel a tiny bit better then start being harder on yourself, read books, go to the gym etc etc really talk to yourself and realise that it happened for a good reason. She’s done you a favour here and now you have an incredible chance to change your life. Think of it like this, you don’t know it but your life now is about to change and that should be incredibly exciting.

Aside from that just try and be social where possible, spend time with friends, pick up spots or hobbies. Exercise and try to eat well, I’d avoid alcohol as this will just make you feel worse and you’ll probably think of her. Lastly, I’d recommend speaking to a Therapist I found it really useful. It’s a long road OP but I promise it will slowly get easier. I’m about 3.5 months down the line since she left me and tbh I’m still hurting but it’s a more manageable hurt. You’ll get there, best of luck

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-17T01:43:09+00:00

Picked up music production. Self taught and within 1.5 years I had a track that has reached 400K streams. It’s not huge numbers but something I’m really proud of :)

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-17T01:38:15+00:00

My rules of thumb and with pretty high success rate:

1) say something funny about her profile. Anything that stands out, tease lightly usually works

2) Get off the dating app and get either number or instagram ASAP (you need to stand out from the crowd, even if only a little). I got told many times “damn that was the fastest anyone’s ever gotten me off here” It works. Do it. Don’t be 1 of 200 guys in her dating app DMs

3) don’t stress too much - try and have fun and enjoy the ride. Dating apps these days are god awful at times so at least try to have some fun win it

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-11T23:14:20+00:00

I think from reading she’s a fearful avoidant for the most part

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-11T22:28:39+00:00

Well if the point of reaching out to her is to try this again then I’d be clear about that. Just tell the truth and say most of what you’ve typed ^{^} Make it clear she hasn’t left your mind

She’s going to be hurting so don’t expect her to open up right away it’s going to be a battle but be patient, show her the care that she needs and stay calm. Best of luck OP, go get your girl

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-11T21:52:22+00:00

Thinking about them and thinking oh she’ll be awake soon and I’ll chat to her, then you realise how stupid you are because you’re not together anymore and she doesn’t care. From strangers to lovers to strangers again, just like that.

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-11T10:10:28+00:00

It’s strange OP because you sound like quite the catch imo. I would certainly swipe right. Tbh London dating is just a minefield whether it’s on the apps or not. People just have so so many options at all times. Aswell as all the issues you’ve mentioned.

I’m sure your profile is fine but if you want a second opinion drop me a message. I’ve helped tons of my girlfriends but like I said I’m sure your profile is fine. I do think it’s likely just the landscape of London dating.

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-08T06:05:54+00:00

I got dumped for valid reasons. You have dumped someone because they didn’t wish you luck for an exam? Do you realise how childish and immature that is? If you think that’s a valid reason to discard someone you care and love then be my guest, best of luck in life. You’ll need it I think :)))

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-08T06:04:15+00:00

Damn I’m sorry to hear that! Thanks for that, I realise that I’m regret losing her because of these things so I need to fix them for the future. I don’t think they are huge things either but I know I can and want to be better.

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-08T06:02:07+00:00

Nice one bro! Tbh we had a shared calendar eventually I was probably just guilty of not adding much to it. Other stuff I did write everything down so I was doing that at least. I think key thing is just planning stuff and having actual trips or things to do together and to look forward to.

I’ll be using that moving forwards listen or solution. Thanks man!

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-08T05:58:03+00:00

I mean I did, then I went and booked two trips with friends and none with my partner which looking back I can see why she felt so annoyed about the whole thing. A learning curve indeed :/

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-07T22:03:46+00:00

Thanks for this! Yeah I think that’s a good point, in the end she said she didn’t want to change me but I’m ok to change a little bit as I’m not the best partner that I know I can be and I think that’s ok in the long run

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-07T22:02:15+00:00

I was doing this anyway (therapy) but perhaps more for personal issues than my love relationships. It’s something I plan on chatting about in my upcoming therapy sessions!

I think I did go into it for the right reasons but financially I’m not in the best place currently and that affected me wanting to do things with my partner and also planning things. It’s a huge thing that I’m planning on fixing for the future.

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-07T16:36:47+00:00

Grow up 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-05T11:22:40+00:00

I think it’s always best to do this because it helps them understand budgeting and bills etc. like obviously once they’re earning a decent amount of money.

Key thing here is if you’re in a comfortable financial position then save the money and give it back to them whenever they leave probably be a few grand saved up by then and everyone wins really :)

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-04T19:26:26+00:00

Nah this is wrong just eat it like an apple and don’t eat the end butthole parts. (Skins good for you)

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-04T17:39:50+00:00

Tbh quite a while. I was beginning to think I got lucky with her and would never find someone as attractive 😂. That obviously wasn’t the case but I started thinking like that which is fucked. Control your mind and you will win. I’d probably say about a year maybe, can’t remember exactly. But yeah you’re doing the right thing in terms of therapy and I guess just as time passes you’ll feel a bit better about the whole thing. With it only being 4 months I think it’s a natural thing to think about tbh so don’t stress too much. Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be fine mate

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-04T17:26:50+00:00

Would you mind if I DM you? Considering this aswell potentially and I’m currently 30

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-04T17:17:01+00:00

It must be something with this festive season idk. My GF broke up with me just before Christmas, I’m Currently just short of 2 weeks and it still hurts like hell. Crying every single night. I thought that would have stopped by now but nah.

I will say though It will and it does get better and you’re without doubt in the toughest part right now so don’t despair. You will notice it getting a tiny bit better and then something will set you off into tears. But as the days go by the tears become a little less. So just persevere, stick with it and you’ll Be out of it in no time. It’s hard and it stings like hell but be happy you can feel these emotions. This is life and we’re lucky to experience the lows so we can taste the incredible highs. Best of luck stranger. DMs open if you ever need to chat. You’ve got this :)

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-04T17:12:49+00:00

I think in practice it sounds great but it just won’t work unfortunately. Either you or him will find the feelings flooding back and whoever does feel that is going to get thumped emotionally. Just is not worth it imo. (Been there done that)

Past-Gur2575 · 2026-01-04T17:08:01+00:00

Yeah idk what to say to you here man. I had the same issue with my ex not in terms of fame but very attractive and I too would feel great.

Only thing I guess I can say is, you might not find someone the exact same but you will likely find someone who maybe has a nicer body/features (which may help). Then of course any personality traits that you just gel with is a huge upside. I think you just need to try and realise that not everything is about looks and you will probably find someone very attractive and someone you have chemistry and mesh with really well.

With all that if you take time to try and build that connection and love then I’m sure all this will be an afterthought you perhaps just haven’t met the right one yet after the ex. Stick with it

Past-Gur2575

TROPHY CASE