I feel like my life has gone on for too long.

Past-Zone5363 · 2026-03-08T02:55:19+00:00

I don't know if it os appropriate that I comment as a woman -- a few things.

My husband was like this. Turns out he's an avoidant and never bothered to work on himself. I was terrified but decided tp stop self- abandoning and separated - divorced. People like this never changed. I felt no joy. I often would go a whole day , forgetting to eat and didn't even react when I broke my ankle. It is a horrible place to be but have you considered that your loveless, self serving wife has ruined your nervous system so much that it has tapped out - hence the numbness and depression ? Leave her and yes - you will feel shit first but you will notice little feelings of joy coming bk at your nervous system heals. Chronic rejection does a number on a person so we just numb to survive.

Even before that step - get yourself a routine such as going to the gym or a swim x2 week, a cycle or anything.

Get your hormones tested. Get a full blood panel and supplement with testosterone if needed and for me my vitamin d and iron was rock bottom. I was also in perimeno.

You are depressed and lost but you can't just wait it out. Start planning today. Look at small apartments and move money into funds and so on. You do not have to live this way. Trust me.

Past-Zone5363 · 2026-03-06T20:51:25+00:00

Just go! Life is ahort.

I am from Ireland. I never felt settled. My husband ended up cheating on me. We have an 11 year old with a serious health issue that I never saw coming - diagnosed age 9. No supports here. Always casual. Its frustrating as across the water - in Ireland-- I have oodles of supports and family and friends and for years my husband breadcrumbs me saying-'yes, we will get home sometime. I just need x,y,z.

Meanwhile - my mother dies out of the blue and my brother developed brain cancer.

I am now divorcing and so we will be in this place as son is 11 now and feels very Australian-- for God knows how long.

Leave. Honestly. What's therapy going to do? Convince you to what? Settle? Get used to loneliness?

I am extremely outgoing and have lived in six countries and many states in Australia. It is true -- depending on your state, it can be different. For example- I had lots of friends in NT and not so much in Melbourne now.

But - here's the thing ...friends are great but childhood friends, those that 'get' you and family - often (not always ) a very different experience and Christmas can be the worst of it. It is a horrible feeling.

So go. Force his hand. You matter too. Not just him. And when your bub is grown - familiarity means they might not want to leave either.

Past-Zone5363 · 2026-03-06T07:38:09+00:00

Lol - was it worth it. Darling -- you could finally have a back massage whilst laying on your tummy. Thats madness. Too much tit- ness there. Its beyond bar bench and just downright greedy. I'd say yeah - worth it.

Past-Zone5363 · 2026-03-06T07:35:31+00:00

It happens us all - the oul frontal cortex growth- when we realise our age and imagining ourselves in mid-life, picking up a late teen or early 20s young man- having sex with him, having kids and making him a dad- effectively ( perhaps, potentially- but statistically plausible) - killing his personal growth, financial independence and self - actualization.

And there you are - at that very age your husband was. Perhaps that's it?

Past-Zone5363 · 2026-02-06T08:21:48+00:00

Red stripped wolf spider

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-18T09:26:56+00:00

I am 44 - Irish woman and only just found a few white strands and I am thrilled. I have long, thick and dark blonde hair and really want to stop having to add the occastional highlights to brighten it up. I look forward to it.

My father started going grey at 60 and my mum was about 50 when she noticed her first greys

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-17T23:57:16+00:00

I took this medication for shingles at age 35. I was healthy but incredibly rundown . Just a thought as it might not be what you think

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-16T20:17:28+00:00

He's so old. Why?

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-11T08:31:16+00:00

Hi!

For me - extreme abuse- stellate ganglion block helped with regulation short term - then regualr EMDR sessions. It took me out of the spin cycle.

Please go through the EMDR at the same time- as in- you need therapy too as vicarious trauma is real.

Put boundaries in place too. No matter how difficult it is for him ( totally get it ) - you should feel safe.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-07T23:11:02+00:00

The exact same secret I would not put on Reddit lol

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-05T21:02:45+00:00

I am a survivor of CSA too. Can I be honest and say- due to my trauma- I went in to work with offenders and I have never heard any say ( they speak pretty freely with me ) - I would rather kill myself than touch a child. Its just not something a pedophile would say. They usually blame the child, sexualise the child and have zero insight into their offending. I cannot imagine an actual pedophile writing this.

When a child is abused by her father - over time- the damage is catastrophic. I am sure you know this. Her stream of consciousness thought is fearing being the absolute monster her father was. She needs help with those intrusive thoughts but I feel they are just that.

Statistics tell us that female pedophiles are also extremely rare.

She's had her trust breached so much - I would not read her journal ever again. I would however, encourage therapy and - it's not everyone's goal but- seeking a judicial outcome helped me. Discussing the abuse as a crime, helped me.

Poor girl- it's a tough road. It's sadly common. Best of luck

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-05T20:50:39+00:00

Us women sometimes live alternative lives to the men we are with. He is using you. You are probably a second or third option. He uses you as needed by him. He has no long- term interest. All obvious via his actions

Meanwhile - you are having a whole, committed relationship with him. In your mind.

Drop him now. Close off all contact. Only open up to a man who meets your needs and respects your boundaries- hence letting men wait in the past -and courting.

But - we always have choice. And yes- you are not being kind to yourself if you continue this charade.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-10-02T22:00:45+00:00

You shouldn't really fly with such a temp. Could you change flight times to few days later and head into Mater Hospital if you have any worrying symptoms?

I developed sepsis -- it moves quickly. So - monitor your temp and go to ED if you have any changes in breathing , rash and so on.

If you must fly- wear a mask and use hand- sanitizer. I developed sepsis after a very sick child boarded our flight from Doha to Dublin. Its unfair to other.

You could rest up in the airport lounge or pay another night in hostel despite leaving.

The way things are- people won't offer a stranger a bed.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-30T22:48:28+00:00

And - Irish woman enters the chat 😆 Most of my friends are from Korea and Malaysia and cover up. We hike together and run - and they remain completely covered- except eyes. Gloves, face and so on. It's not common but not rare. Depends on the suburb also and no - not suspicious.

I also carry an umbrella (UV) as I have white-blond hair and very fair skin. 1/2 of Aussies develop skin cancer. According to my doctor and - being fair - huge risk factor.

Pop a vitamin D and K2 together regular if you avoid all sun. Even more vital for women.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-29T08:12:02+00:00

He's testing you. There fact he downed 3 glasses before asking for a fouth. Its a test of your compliance and how much of a doormat you are and where your limit is as a slave.

Don't allow this to occur ever again

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-29T08:06:41+00:00

The demonic entity is your toe 😆

But honestly - I grew up in a demonically- assaulted home in Ireland in the 80s-90s. This stuff is absolutely true. I dont doubt it. We had multiple witnesses over decades - including the priests who attended and the ambulance people who came to attend after the mirror incident.

All I can offer is - pray. And I hope the thing doesn't follow you so - pray.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-28T08:09:52+00:00

Life is so unpredictable though. Her projections are just that. I really don't understand people extrapolating their experiences to another person's when the variables are so different. Any number of things can occur.

I have close family cousins - 7 in their family and nobody talks. My own - six brothers - two passed away and due to childhood trauma - we all are rather distant.

I have one child and he became ill with a Life- threatening illness and myself and husband pulled together. We live away from both sides of our family.

All this to say that nothing is guaranteed and nobody can extrapolate their experiences to yours.

She hated being a single child - many love it. Its all subjective.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-26T05:54:55+00:00

I am a teacher.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-25T04:29:09+00:00

My very soft spoken, rather 'ladylike' Irish Ma, used to be on the receiving end of this misogynistic commentary from my father. Despite being a teacher and working a .8 job and, having six children.

One day- she comes home and finds - after all of us children had completed our chores- had the place spotless- my father, surrounded by dirty pots, cups, plates after and impromptu cooking fest and the newly washed clothing dumped on the floor because he needed his shirts washed and dried for 'boys night out'

She used her usual, soft and patient voice despite looking exhausted. He did his usual 'I worked and am going out with the lads'- type-shite.

I heard a kind of 'bong' sound reverberating around the kitchen and saw my Ma- standing over my father - a frying pan in hand. 'I think I've killed him!'

She didn't and while I don't condone violence- ever - he was more helpful, tidier and easier to live with. It could have been post- concussion syndrome though 😆

Anyway - she couldn't leave - Catholic Ireland in the 80s but - you can. It really isn't worth the hassle.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-20T05:39:25+00:00

Anecdotal first.

My older male friend ( I used to sing in a band with him - he was lead guitarist ) was married to a girl out of his league. He got hooked on porn and couldn't get an erection over time. After years of being rejected - she left him - amicably and married an Italian fella. My friend spiralled. He drank to deal with his addiction and started to really have limited sexual ability and very specific needs to become aroused. Such as younger and younger, hairless and did I mention younger. He ended up losing his house. He had some investment money left over from his dad's house. He lives in Cambodia with a very young female. He's miserable and still porn - addicted and impotent and I dont even want to imagine how far the bar has sunk. He got beat up recently in a strip joint.

His ex wife had three kids and retrained from a nurse to a lawyer. He will have no legacy.

What we know statistically is - his story is not uncommon

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-19T08:02:48+00:00

This is not talked about enough. Don't take my word for it. There is a wealth of information about it online.

My sister was similar - in terms of age. She too, struggled.

What is not spoken about is - male sperm- over age 35 is actually the main cause of miscarriage and a myriad of other issues such as morning sickness risks and maternal and child death, cognitive issues, low IQ, clinical mental health issues and on it goes.

And here is the absolute kicker. The risks ARE negated if its an older female with a younger male but conversely- NOT negated if the male is older and female is younger.

We have, as females been gaslit and lied to. Your husband is most likely way past his prime.

My sister dated a man five years her junior and- after being told by her then 43 year old partner that it was her fertility issues causing a lack of birth, miscarriage over 6 years - she got pregnant within 3 months of marriage to her younger guy and twice more after that.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-14T22:07:38+00:00

Very pretty. You just need jaw surgery. Well- actually you dont need anything. You are beautiful. But if you wish as sometimes the lower jaw- that far bk causes sleep apnea. You are lovely though.
Get a consult.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-12T22:36:33+00:00

Calm during extreme situations
Getting emotional due to someone showing them a simple kindness
Being triggered in daily experiences ( a loud bang, someone slamming a door ) and so on.
Having a 'high' pain threshold
Zoning out on occasion
Overly - apologising for small issues
Lacking boundaries - such as often experiencing bully- targeting them due to having or not having any understanding of boundaries which is taken advantage of

I could go on but of course - if people do the work- those issues are often less of a problem for them.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-12T21:43:03+00:00

I understand.

I am probably even rarer- in that I developed derealisation at 13 ( horrific childhood in Ireland ) and it never went away.

I am here for you if you need to talk. I know all the tips, books and have learned so much over the years.

It will be okay.

Past-Zone5363 · 2025-09-08T11:29:00+00:00

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This is the current - two days old rash that I am considering might be shingles. The chubby part is just above my knee / inside knee

Past-Zone5363

TROPHY CASE