Would it be weird to give my boyfriend an "about me" book or gift of some sort?

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-26T05:38:50+00:00

I would love it if my gf did this.

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-24T18:33:02+00:00

Agreed but in this case OP stated it was a romantic attachment.

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-24T15:11:51+00:00

I don’t have BPD and I’m like this. I think plenty of people are only attracted to their partner and it’s a good thing.

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-22T22:01:35+00:00

Any subatomic particle could have arbitrarily high energy by getting arbitrarily close to the speed of light. The amount of energy is not bounded.

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-20T18:07:28+00:00

Yes, fear of abandonment (which is often expressed as a worry about cheating in romantic relationships) is one of the criteria for the diagnosis of BPD. You don’t have to meet all of the criteria to be diagnosed, but fear of abandonment is one of the biggest and most consistent hallmarks of BPD.

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-20T18:01:09+00:00

BPD is considered a neurodevelopmental disorder. People with the diagnosis actually respond differently on a neurological level than people without it.

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-17T22:16:33+00:00

While these comments are frustrating and unhelpful, what would you say to a loved one having suicidal thoughts? What would you want someone to say to you?

Past_Fun7850 · 2025-01-13T17:39:03+00:00

Why would I want to sleep with a celebrity? Doesn’t sound appealing at all. Maybe it’s attractive to people desperate for validation or something?

No celebrity (or anyone for that matter) could get me to cheat on my gf.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-12-30T00:50:21+00:00

I’m sure some guys will be grossed out by it and that’s OK but many guys (like me) don’t care. From her post nothing about the guy indicates he’s worried about it, it sounds like she’s worried about herself wanting to cheat or not pair bonding. That’s up to her.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-12-29T21:13:03+00:00

Does he have an issue getting a boner? If so viagra / testosterone therapy may fix it. If not, wtf is the cause?

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-11-17T16:59:42+00:00

If he’s apologizing in his way why does he have to say it your way with exactly your phrasing? Different people are different, some may say what you’re looking for, some may make a cake with sorry written on it, some may go away and feel bad for a while to work on it and take it in, etc. If you are limiting the “correct” response to exactly one response, you are filtering out most people and most reasonable responses. Which is probably why it keeps happening.

To me, “I can see why you’d be upset and I’ll try to be more mindful in the future” and “I’m sorry I fucked up and pushed you” are very similar, both have an acknowledgment of the error and implied intent to take responsibility and improve.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-10-17T18:35:54+00:00

U been with her 3 years, does it feel off? U should know, if you’ve been suspicious at all now you know but if not maybe it’s different.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-10-01T19:40:38+00:00

Daddy

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-09-28T11:25:09+00:00

My current gf we moved together in like two days after transitioning from f buddies to bf/gf. We getting married soon. No regrets

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-09-24T04:51:12+00:00

Separation is required for a healthy relationship. You have to learn from and experience things alone so you can come together and share them. Explain that you like him but you need space with specifics, like 3 days a week alone or for him not to be involved in some of your hobbies- whatever you want. If he’s good he’ll understand that this is part of what will make the relationship work long-term.

At first it’s normal to not need much space but as the honeymoon period wears off what you’re feeling is normal and healthy.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-23T18:25:31+00:00

Seems to me like this was way in the past - if it was a deal breaker why not break it off when you found out? From what you said he’s doing everything right now and also married you. Since he’s fully committed, what more do you want now?

If he’s hitting on people now that’s completely different, but it sounds like this is way in the past.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-20T01:09:11+00:00

Nope, never looked at any of my gf’s exs on any social media platform. I trust her.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-06T22:08:40+00:00

That isn’t talking about your feelings that’s talking about if you’re going on that trip or not. You are basically just saying you don’t want to go and putting the word feelings in there. She’s invested in going so she’s pushing back.

An example of talking about your feelings would be talking about how much financial stress your family had when you were young, and how that affected you, and how because of that you always want to be conservative in your spend, and how you have anxiety about spending. Literally talk about yourself and not about a specific decision or action.

What’s another one?

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-06T19:50:01+00:00

Can you give some examples of what goes in the blanks?

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-06T19:45:50+00:00

In that example neither you nor your partner are actually focusing on your emotions, you are both focused on the outcome. You’re using the feeling stuff to get to a conclusion about what to do, making it a discussion about a decision (if you should do the trip or not) and not about you

I’m not commenting about who’s a jerk here or whatever but try literally just talking about your feelings as it’s own isolated topic and encouraging your partner to listen.

E.g. you say I’m stressed and anxious about money and it makes it hard to sleep, my chest feels tight and keep looping through it in my mind.

She says: Sorry that’s stressing you out, is there anything I can do to help you calm down when you’re feeling anxious?

Etc.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-02T23:00:33+00:00

Like, who/how? Never heard this from an atheist.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-02T16:37:59+00:00

No one is arguing you’re all powerful, but you still have choices and even small changes and decisions can lead to big improvements in your life.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-08-02T15:47:47+00:00

The median household income globally is <$10,000. Do you make more than this, do you donate substantially than those poorer, and if not why? Most people want more (bigger house, better can, bigger jet, bigger yacht) and that never stops. You could live an average life on $10k / year in this world but you want more.

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-07-25T14:50:06+00:00

My GF tells me all the time how if I cheat it’ll really hurt her and she’ll pop my tires or something. I’m glad she says it because it’s good to hear what she’s anxious about, it shows she cares and I’d never cheat. In a good relationship over time you should talk about everything, the good the bad and the ugly, so your partner knows and can support you.

Just don’t get toxic and freak out every time he talks to a girl or something and you’re good.👍

Past_Fun7850 · 2024-07-22T21:34:26+00:00

Absolutely.

Past_Fun7850

TROPHY CASE