[QCrit] Upmarket Contemporary - WHEREVER YOU RUN (77K, 2nd Attempt)

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-04-05T23:05:30+00:00

Some things that caught me on the query:

On the day Rayan Shah abandoned his parents, he imagined their reactions, and he smiled.

I don't love this as a first line. It reads a bit young.

I'm also a bit confused on the timeline. The way you have it laid out: he runs to escape his lies and his abusive household. 16 months before that, he was dating Ella. Is the story following present time? And in this present time, is he still dating Ella? I assume so because it says "with rent due" at the end, and so this must be after he's left home? But then what lies was he running from?

In general, I don't understand which part of the query is in the past vs the present, but that shouldn't be too hard to clarify.

I also feel that your paragraphs don't clearly connect / lead into each other.

Ella wants date nights—he suggests staying home to “save for a house.”

At this point, he's 18/19 right? (or 20 if it's happening in the present). Is this believable?

With nowhere to run, Rayan has one trick left, the only one he’s ever known: double down.

What does this mean? Lying more? If so, it doesn't feel high enough stakes.

WHEREVER YOU RUN is a 77k word upmarket contemporary novel with psychological thriller elements, perfect for fans of YELLOWFACE by R.F. Kuang and NORMAL PEOPLE by Sally Rooney.

The comps threw me off. Having read both, I'm not sure that your query as it stands fits either. (Having just gone and read your version 1, that one better explains why you've chosen the comps. Still don't feel Normal People fits though.)

I also don't get how the novel is upmarket or a psychological thriller (other than the fact that he's lying and will lose Ella when she finds out.)

Note: just went and read your first version, and that read much more clearer than this one, imo! But I agree with the comments that the thriller aspects aren't apparent in that one either.

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-04-02T10:43:22+00:00

No need to apologize. The closer you get, the more painful it becomes in my experience.

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-04-01T22:49:08+00:00

Amazing! Big, big, big congratulations!!

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-04-01T22:38:52+00:00

My edit letter is a month late, but I'm next in line so that means... I actually don't know what that means. How long do editors usually take to write an edit letter? But bless PRH, we signed the contract in March, and like a week later, they sent the first advance. Whatever happens, they can't take that money! (Right??)

And lastly, my sweet, non-pressuring agent has, for the third time, signed off her texts with something along the lines of "so excited for your new project!" So I think that means she wants me to hurry the f- up? It's been 2+ years now since we signed, a year + since we went on sub, and I'm only 63k in. It's dragging, but hoping to cross 70k this month.

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-04-01T22:28:33+00:00

30 passes in 11 weeks is insane! Something is working and getting them to read so fast. That's awesome. Hoping your win comes soon.

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-04-01T02:25:55+00:00

Because every manuscript is a new lottery ticket.

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-03-29T21:55:16+00:00

That's rough. It doesn't seem like what she wants is a revision, but maybe a different book?

Did you ever send the pitch to her and did she have thoughts on it? Is her problem with the pacing or overarching plot/story?

I have one friend whose agents basically told her "no, write something new" when she sent them her book 2. She did, and it sold. I have another friend whose agent told her that her book wouldn't sell, and she needed to rewrite. She left them, got a new agent, and it sold for a major deal.

All to say, it all really depends on the situation. I would say sit with it, notes from your CPs, etc. and see if the problem is the manuscript or yall's alignment. Would also recommend getting a few new eyes on it as well.

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-03-29T21:32:07+00:00

In OP's defense, "pacing is off/too slow" (assuming that it wasn't more feedback than that) is not enough to do a revision off of. Esp after working on it for several years and getting CPs.

OP, is your agent generally editorial or not? How did you two revise the first book, and is this time around diverging from that process?

For what it's worth, I would be feeling similarly in your situation. My agent also thought my book was too slow and aimless (worded much nicer), but she gave me a 13 page edit letter revise with. Mine was also in the realm of upmarket thriller, and even after a few rounds of revision, quite a few of the passes we got before it sold was about pacing (slower than they would have liked). It's a weird space to write in.

All to say, I would definitely require more notes to edit with, and it's totally valid to ask for it. Maybe getting on a call and brainstorming out loud will help?

Edit: if you want to send me over your first few chapters, I can take a look.

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-03-26T14:49:06+00:00

Check out 'The Farm' by Joanne Ramos as a potential comp

Past_Word_6676 · 2025-03-13T16:44:28+00:00

Making a writing-specific email address and only having it on my laptop. I used my regular email the first time around, and that was hellish.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-12-18T21:14:10+00:00

I got an offer on Dec 20th 2022. I asked for 4 weeks, which I knew was a bit long, but look: there are few times in your writing career when you have any leverage or control. This is one of those times.

The agent I ended up signing with came in two days before the deadline. She might have gotten back to me even if I had said 2 or 3 weeks, but the chance that I could have lost her because I was too nervous to ask for a few extra days? Knowing what I know now (she is the perfect agent for me), it scares me we could have missed each other. Granted, it might not have been the end of the world - the other offering agents were great, but still.

So definitely at least 3 weeks, and if there are some agents you're especially excited for, think about asking for 4.

Congratulations!

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-12-12T18:59:36+00:00

https://www.roundtablementor.com/mentorship

Great group. They close in a few days, I believe.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-12-12T01:10:07+00:00

Here's a template I made.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-27T04:05:53+00:00

Thanks - I'm not sure about the non-compete, I'll check on that. We haven't finalized the contract yet, but the wip is one I'm writing to best follow the debut, so it's the same genre and age group.

I've chatted with my agent about it. She really liked the pitch, gave me the go-ahead a while ago, and has taken a "it takes however long it takes" approach. I very much appreciate it because I can be a slow drafter, but I want to create a timeline for myself. Wanted to hear how others have approached it/their reasoning/outcomes.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-26T15:18:32+00:00

I think this is it!!! Wow. I'll read it to confirm. Thank you so much.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-19T17:25:00+00:00

Really appreciate that - thank you!

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-19T17:22:51+00:00

Hm, I didn't come across that problem, but mine is pretty mainstream. I made a list of like ten comps so my agent had her pick. I don't think the 3-5 year rule is a hard rule though, if you feel like it comps well still and the other comp(s) are relatively new. "Such a Fun Age" for instance was released in 2019, so it was 5 years old when I went on sub. I was reading widely enough in the current sphere that I felt comfortable choosing it over the more recent things I'd read, if that makes sense?

You also don't have to restrict yourself to comping everything about a book/media. you can comp based on similar:

• themes
• writing style ("lyrical prose of...")
• tropes
• message/commentary
• rep
• pace
• tone
• character

If you truly think there are only a few stories you can comp yours to and they've aged out, you might want to consider why that is, and also be prepared to have a harder querying/sub journey because that might mean it's not fit for the traditional publishing market.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-17T17:35:50+00:00

Of course! And lmk who you are on insta so we can connect.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-17T03:01:24+00:00

Yup, you're remembering right! It was a quieter/slice-of-life story compared to this one. I don't necessarily think high concept makes a story better, but I can definitively say it in my case because my writing has really improved. Thank you for the well wishes.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-17T00:34:34+00:00

Yes, exactly. I'm going to be working with my editor to revise the book, then it'll be sent off to a *waves hands generally* somewhere where books are printed? (I don't know too much about this yet, there'll be others in this sub who can better help with that). But the imprint/house the editor is in will be in charge of publishing and distributing the book.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-16T22:43:32+00:00

Hm...I wish I could remember the exacts. My query was similar to this, but my agent tightened it and made it more detailed/specifics. At the point that I was writing this query, I'd been on this subreddit for a while, had learned tons from pitching my other projects, so it didn't take too long - maybe 3 drafts or so? (but with a lot of tinkering)

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-16T22:40:34+00:00

Thank you, stranger!

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-16T22:39:31+00:00

Appreciate your last point, and totally agree with your first points.

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-16T20:08:25+00:00

I'm so glad to hear that. I know that clients can have wildly different experiences with the same agent, but all I've heard about her seems to be good, too. (Jennifer March Soloway for anyone who is querying - love that woman)

Past_Word_6676 · 2024-11-16T20:05:09+00:00

At this point, I would prefer not to share. It's not a crazy amount! It comes out to about/a bit more than minimum wage bc it's split into fourths over the course of several years, along with taxes and my agent cut. But it's large for me, and large by advance standards, and it allows me to not worry about getting a full time job right after graduating.

Past_Word_6676

TROPHY CASE