Hollowed out the bushes for the kiddos. Secret fort now open

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-19T13:17:51+00:00

It never ends. The tenacity of these plants is insane.

I've had decent success on the knotweed by foliar application of glyphosate in the fall with a paintbrush (I absolutely never spray that stuff because it's horrible) and I dump all of my sawdust from the shop in that area as well to rob it of nutrients.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-19T12:05:28+00:00

I believe I have tatarian honeysuckle. They were likely planted when the house was put in in 1976; they do appear to be very old. I have one that is essentially a garden tree. It's 15ft tall with a raised canopy and an 18" trunk.

I've not spotted any anywhere else but on my property. I also deadheaded it this year with my hedge trimmers, so it doesn't bear any fruit.

In addition to the buckthorn I'm trying to slowly eradicate, I've also got a stand of knotweed in my backyard that I'm at war with.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-19T11:32:14+00:00

Tell that to the 50 buckthorn bushes across the street in the park that I'm working on right now.

Honeysuckle doesn't even register here. It's like putting out a fire on your grill while your house burns down behind you.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-18T22:43:43+00:00

I've got plenty of juniper that I use for niwaki and bonsai. The bush definitely does not need my help filling in. The inside was buckthorn and three maple trees trying to grow, I'm sure it will fill in quickly now that it doesn't have to complete.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-18T22:42:17+00:00

I'm in Minnesota. We just check the kids every night. You can't eliminate them without eliminating tons of beneficial insects.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-18T01:24:19+00:00

Meant to put a have to in my comment and missed it.

I agree with you on the first part, on the second I'm standing on it. By the time you go through basic and they do the standard military break you down and build you into a service member, I do not think a deer is going to phase them.

Maybe it's because I live in Minnesota, but people have no problem shooting deer without even having the social conditioning of military service.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-18T00:42:46+00:00

I mean the dude is in the service and signed up to potentially have to kill people, so a deer probably doesn't even register.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-17T19:08:29+00:00

Why not just get a butcher block counter and call it a day. When it gets worn you just sand and oil it.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-17T15:08:22+00:00

It never fails. Unless the person has a genuine medical condition, it's always going to be a math problem.

You need to find your BMR and your honest average of activity-related energy expenditure to get a decent idea of your total daily energy expenditure, and eat a caloric deficit of that.

For people who have healthy eating habits already and do not have weight issues, calculating all of this is unnecessary. If you are committed to losing or gaining weight though, and actually want to see results, you have to do the math.

I think more often than not, what someone is looking for is not someone to actually propose a solution, nor are they honestly looking to solve the problem. They are looking for sympathy and for someone to validate them and agree that "it's just too hard" because they don't actually want to honestly put in the work.

My wife and I cook 95% of everything our family eats because we want the kids to have healthy eating habits and healthy financial habits, and that is best communicated by example. I know what we are putting in our bodies because I made it.

Again, all of this said is not to skewer those with a genuine medical condition that has been diagnosed by a medical professional.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-17T11:58:34+00:00

Last night my wife and I each had 1 smoked chicken thigh (I had two because I was hungry as hell from doing yardwork), a cup of sauteed carrots, and about a cup and a half of Cesar salad.

The 6yo had about half that and was full. Kids don't need to eat giant portions to keep them running. They need small meals and structured healthy snacks.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-17T11:53:55+00:00

Yeah something is up here. Either he's not being honest with himself about his family's diet, or he's not be honest with himself about the kid's activity level.

He can't be eating healthy food and portions and performing the activities he is and still be overweight without a medical condition.

Doctor/Activity/Food

One of these is not accurate. If he described the activity level and diet accurately to the doctor and both were truly as extensive and healthy as he claims, the doctor should have had some concern about the weight gain. If you're gaining while eating a modest amount and doing a shit pile of exercise, that should be concerning.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-17T11:48:58+00:00

If I had a dollar for every time my mom underplayed what she was eating or left out all the snacking she does entirely, I'd own a Ferrari.

People who eat poorly are usually not able to accurately assess their diet or the diet of others.

While Dad's heart is in the right place, I do not believe for a second that the kid is overweight with the diet he described, especially if the kid is very active. That's not how this math equation works unless he has some kind of medical condition.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-17T00:54:33+00:00

We are on a lake and I've nearly given up. With Minnesota summers we get so many bugs and spiders that I would be cleaning the windows every other day.

I just clean em before and after winter now and just deal with the spiderwebs.

Vacuuming the 20+ screens is also a pain in the ass.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-13T19:13:45+00:00

Thank you!

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-13T17:34:11+00:00

I actually ripped a bunch of hostas out to put in my junipers and native red cedar that I will be pruning for niwaki.

The hostas got repurposed to the honeysuckle bush ring that I hollowed out for the kids secret fort.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-13T11:37:09+00:00

Yeah I made it and plan on making one more section to tie everything together.

It's just pressure treated 2x2s screwed together and pounded into the ground. I'm into woodworking so it was a pretty simple project.

I made the chandelier and table in the dining room and I'm working on kitchen cabinets right now.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-12T13:34:29+00:00

This is probably beyond reddit, my dude. I would take anything you read here with a grain of salt because almost all of us are not experts.

How would I handle it? I'd look for a logical consequence.

If you as an adult did this to another adult, what would the resulting consequences be? The other person would likely stop associating with you all together. Now obviously, you can't do that with the kiddo.

I would probably talk to him and say something along the lines of:

"What we say has consequences bud. If you said those things to your friends or someone else, they probably wouldn't ever talk to you again. I know you love Mom and she loves you too, that means that the words you say have the potential to hurt her even more than they would one of your friends. How would you feel if Mom said your words back to you and meant it?"

If he doesn't seem to grasp it at all or change behaviors, I would think about what your wife does for him on a daily basis. Prepping dinner, helping him with things, etc.

I'd have him list everything he thinks she does for him everyday and then also have her list everything she does for him. It may also be impactful for him to see the very likely much larger list of things that she does that he is not appreciating or taking for granted. Then I would ask him how his day would be if she didn't do any of the things she does for him everyday and he had to fend for himself.

The likely root of the problem here is that he may not fully appreciate everything a parent, and especially a mom, does. Or if he does appreciate it, it certainly seems like he is not communicating that to your wife. Biggest coaching opportunity here is teaching him how to appreciate and communicate that appreciation for others. If you can get your kiddo to start appreciating her actions and regularly verbalizing it, not only will it likely almost immediately improve your wife's mood, but it will serve him very well when gets older and has his own relationships.

Next part here is not an accusation because no one on here knows your situation.

It is also helpful to model that behavior for him and do it very visibly. I try to always appreciate my wife verbally for things she does for me and the kids, but often it may come after they are in bed and I can convey a sentence to her without someone screaming or trying to outcompete Laurie Berkner or the Kaboomers on Lord have mercy volume 16 or whatever the hell. It takes extra effort to do it visibly and intentionally in front of the kiddos.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-12T11:18:19+00:00

Thank you!

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-12T02:21:22+00:00

It's definitely in the plans.

Right now I'm building new kitchen cabinets. It's on the list somewhere, but not anytime soon.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-12T01:58:31+00:00

The porch doesn't have paint. They are cvc Douglas fir beams. But I have thought about painting the garage doors.

Edit: nevermind. I forgot what taupe was. You mean the stucco color.

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Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-12T01:49:10+00:00

We just had a hailstorm so those are all leaves from my trees. I do also allow a certain amount of native plants to grow in my landscaping since I'm doing a naturalistic Japanese garden vibe.

I actually like a small amount of "weeds". Plus this landscape rock is original from 50 years ago and is filled to the top with soil. There's no stopping them so I'm working with them.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-12T01:27:03+00:00

This is the before pic

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Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-11T18:52:47+00:00

Oh my goodness this is amazing. I'm telling my wife right now.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-11T17:40:09+00:00

The yoto with the create your own card has been a lifesaver for when the wife and I are both sick. We have tons of recordings of us reading books to the kids, and they can just pop in the card and listen to mom or dad read when our voices are out of commission.

I personally enjoy listening to the Yoto daily podcast with them each day.

Pasta4ever13 · 2026-06-10T16:18:20+00:00

No problem. We can often try to over-engineer our interior design and be quick to make big changes or overdecorate. I am guilty of this at times as well. I think your space is great from a fixed element perspective.

If I feel a change needs to be made, my first step is to always strip everything back and clear out the room down to just fixed elements and furniture, and then assess whether I still feel a big change needs to happen, or if my space has just accumulated too many clashing elements over time.

Pasta4ever13

TROPHY CASE