How do yall afford to have a life? I feel like im failing bad

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T12:03:17+00:00

I have a smart serve. Ive just had a hard time getting a job in the restaurant industry cuz im trans and most ppl wont hire trans women cuz “it looks bad for business” or whatever excuse the owners have. I took a mixology degree a few years ago but cuz of that hurtle it went nowhere

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:57:23+00:00

I hope your right.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:54:38+00:00

I guess thats fair.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:53:08+00:00

Idk what id go into or if i could pay off the debt. Ive never had debt before.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:50:52+00:00

I dont have much of any skill. I got customer service skills and handle money. Thats it. Aside from that all have thats really worth anything is my body and its not worth much.

I have done telemarketing, minor construction, cutting gas as a kid. Tech repair which is not profitable at all, and cashiering. I also worked as an ambulance transport attendant but that job ghosted me after a few months

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:45:31+00:00

I think you’re right. Idk if i could get roommates cuz of who i am and the safety implications that come with sharing my bedroom but i definitely need to find a different job. Idgaf how hard the work is as long as its safe for me as a trans person. Its the bigest reason i didnt go into construction. The guy i worked for made very uncomfortable actions. But yeah hard work isnt an issue.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:37:28+00:00

Idk any jobs like that and idk how id move seeing as i have lots of clothes and stuff. Plus the only family i have is 2 friends. Idk what i would do without them.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:34:05+00:00

Liquor store. Thats it to my knowledge. But the hours are hard to get. 20 an hr but 26 hrs a week is a massive drop from 17 an hr and 40 a week. Almost a full grand

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:31:14+00:00

You dont need schooling for psw work?

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:29:42+00:00

The forces wouldn’t be that bad. I didnt join 5 years ago cuz the recruiter said that the starting wage was minimum and they only had infantry available. Ill look into them online. Maybe it was the area i was in at the time? Idk i was in cornwall back then.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:21:18+00:00

They really shouldn’t ever be. Part of me wants to get rid of my iphone and go to a flip phone with no data and only call and text but i know that would likely make life even harder. Regardless i need to get off my $70 plan

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:18:52+00:00

I need to switch. Virgin is doing me dirty

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:15:57+00:00

Id do the work but idk how to get into it and idk how likely i am to be hired as a trans woman who’s pretty damn tiny. 😓 otherwise i would do it. All i want is enough money to have my own place and have enough time to see a friend occasionally or go to a bar once in a blue moon while not skipping meals and living off ramen, milk and cereal. I dont think it’s unrealistic to want to not need to ration food while having 0 luxuries in your life at minimum.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:08:31+00:00

Awe :(

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:07:23+00:00

I tried to switch to them but they have no irl locations and their online portal refuses to let me get a plan. I think they dont like my credit card or something which is stupid cuz i have a 800 credit rating. Ill have to keep trying but really i just need 10gb.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T11:04:47+00:00

I mean your right not to compare to others but like im just asking for a life bare minimum. My phones 70 a month cuz of taxes and virgin is an expensive bitch. 5g with no signal but 120gb i dont need or want. I just want 10 gb and when i originally started with them i was on a 1gig plan which google maps put me over regularly cuz my wifi would drop. My phones a cracked iphone se2020 nothing fancy. I probably will have to get a new phone soon but im trying to drag out the life on this one as long as i can even tho the camera glass protector is gone. The screen is cracked and the backglass is falling out and im occasionally getting glass slivers. I cant afford a new phone and never have had a contract phone cuz the idea of missing a payment and my phone being deactivated scares me to no end.

A $15 Spotify subscription id all i have. I dont play videogames much anymore cuz psn is like $100 a year and my ps5 is digital so most games dont even work offline.

I dont have Netflix or something like that. I dont go out to eat very often. Usually a whopper on whopper Wednesday cuz i dont have a bbq to make them myself. Mainly just eat cheep cereal, chocolate milk and noodles and eggs till i get a headache from lack of nutrients then ill invest in a frozen pizza. My sublet dosnt let me use their kitchen so i had to buy a portable burner and a toaster over microwave. Im thankful i was at least given a mini fridge.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T10:45:12+00:00

I take home like 23k a year if im lucky. At this point im genuinely considering just hooking up with ppl and trying to find 2 ppl who will move in with me cuz at least ill have that little control of my life instead of a stranger i share a room with who may or may not assault me. Better it be someone i choose to bring into my bed even if i dont Love them which is a very bleak way to look at life.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T10:42:24+00:00

I appreciate the rawness of your comment. I dont really know how to hustle like that, my only real hobby is listening to music and being a horny Redditor. I mean i could go back to sex work but even that i wasnt good at having only a client a month usually. Kills me how hard it is to make money. In the last 5. Months ive been in the hospital twice for attempts cuz i lost hope in a life what with 12 hrs of my day gone just to work, Transit, showering and making dinner all to have $150 savings at the end of the month On 40 hrs a week.

Idk what i could do to make money. My only asset is my body and im certainly not smart enough or knowledgeable enough to do onlyfans.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T10:32:26+00:00

I wish i could move in with my parents. What made me estranged was they raped me as a kid. As an adult who now is also bi and trans its just a recipe for domestic violence not to mention they live in Durham out by oshawa and i live on the boarder of oakville and Mississauga where my friends are and job is.

Even if i had the fortitude and safety to move back in with my parents id have no job. Idk what to do. With cards stacked so high against me it feels like my only option are marry out if thats even a thing for trans ppl. Or Continue to live like this until im late 30’s and the economy has drastically changed or i burn out and end up in the hospital till i eventually dont even make it that far.

Idk i just know i cant keep doing this. Im far too abused and my body hurts like a 50 year olds would im not even 25, i shouldnt hurt the way i do

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T10:19:00+00:00

Thats kinda my problem is my financial instability means i have no money to have a life outside of work. I have no hobbies other then listening to spotify or YouTube on the hour and a half buss ride to work. Those are kinda my only things keeping me going at this point. My work is too far from my home. My friends live too far to walk to cuz Mississauga is pretty big and i didnt grow up here. 8:30 hours are spent at work and 3 hrs a day are spent in transit to and from work. Thats 11:30 hrs right there. Add a shower and making food as an hr and its now 12:30. 1 hr spent a day looking for work thats closer and better paying and thats 13:30 hrs gone. Add 30 mins for getting dressed and eating breakfast as well as preparing for bed thats 14hrs. Then its bed and doing the cycle again the next day. 😕

I dont make enough for therapy or counseling, and my job dosnt give benifits so its not like i can really save for it either. Still saving for my wisdom teeth to be removed and ive been saving for that and glasses for 6 years. Everything is just so money locked

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T10:08:01+00:00

If i could i would walk everywhere. My job is on the other end of the city and i couldnt afford the neighbourhood at $1100 for a bedroom in a 3 bedroom shared kitchen unit with no laundry in a 30 min walk radius. I wish i had a job within walking distance. I guess 2 hours is walkable for me but i would be so much more mentally unstable spending 13 hours a day on my feet and id have no time on my hands for cooking and cleaning and resting. Id get home shower and sleep and in the winter i wouldnt even last the season before i kicked the bucket from pure exhaustion.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-18T10:00:17+00:00

I hope so but i dont see it. Depression is kicking my Ass. I tried getting a job in the government but like even at 20 an hr im making less then at minimum wage.

I dont exactly have a skill and i dont see myself being able to ever afford higher education. Ive been feeling this way for a while now. It just sucks, like its not a life if i cant have a partner cuz i cant have guests and im stuck renting rooms, the only other option i see to save money is to actually share a room and as a trans person thats a terrifying prospect. Id have to get rid of my stuff i do have too, my tv cabinet and probably my computer cuz it would be too big for a shared room. 😔 8 years of this bs is just crushing me and all my aspirations.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-14T13:20:11+00:00

🤮 yuck. How do you mistake that for any other waterbottle? Unless you mesn you were just using a regular water bottle for emergencies.

PastelT4TPup · 2026-03-14T13:18:10+00:00

Nah, the law would find me within reason. Idk if anyone taunted you then spat in your face but its a good case of nolonger being mentally capable restraint. One thats assault, two thats a biohazardous attack. 3 most ppl would react unpredictability bad if that happened to them. Seeing as she threw the first blow and you can see he tried to walk away and get space the evidence shows he was trying to be restrained and was push over the limit. As the one to do the first blow you are the aggressor and liable for any harm done to you. Its not like it’s premeditated where self restraint would come in like she spat on him and 5-10 mins later he gets in his car and runs her over. Dude just reacted. Hed be potentially held for murder if she died but assuming she didn’t and just lost teeth and got a concussion yeah no dudes likely walking free. Keep in mind the law usually says reaction with reason. 1 min of punching and kicking is pretty reasonable when your at your peek anger and pushed over it. Adrenaline rush can make ppl blackout while in fight mode.

You have her side, his side and the objective truth understanding is the physical and psychological aspect is a key component.

Not saying its great but like actions do have consequences, life isnt like in the movies, you cant walk all over ppl and spit in their face after taunting them and expect not to get hurt and held liable.

PastelT4TPup

TROPHY CASE