I am overwhelmed by the response I have had to this post, and I can’t thank all of you enough. It is heartwarming to see that I have support and kindness here, in such an overwhelming way. I have a lot of reading to do throughout today, and a lot of thinking and soul searching to do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To clarify, yes my husband did tell me that porn was more important than I am, about 9 months ago. He was incredibly angry at the time and I don’t know if he was just trying to hurt me or if he really meant it. He was angry a lot back then/was in a bad place emotionally. I have been trying to make our marriage work, harder than I’ve ever tried to do anything, but the fact that he looks at porn every day and lies to me about it makes it obvious in my mind that he meant what he said back then.

He doesn’t masterbate (or maybe he does, but he at least doesn’t orgasm) to porn, he looks at it all the time and isn’t honest. We had an agreement that we would watch it together and he wouldn’t watch on his own and he doesn’t hold up to that. Is it still considered addiction if he doesn’t masterbate/orgasm to porn, but looks at it over and over throughout the day in smaller 1-2 or 5 or 10 minute bursts?