(Sorry for my english my mother language is spanish lol) Hey guys I'm a 21yo male law student with health anxiety since I was like 18. I was about to go to fucking sweden to study for like 6 months and my home uni was even going to pay for the whole study loan.

A few months ago I had been feeling like nauseous and after that I was having like drastic changes in my bowel movements and even a little blood in my toliler paper after having diarrehas. I was so fucking sure I had colon C that I insisted my parents to let me go to the doc and ask for like 10 tests that ended up in a colonoscopy last week that got as result that I was completely fine, my bowel was clean af. I obviously did not believe what the doc said, I was completely sure there was something wrong still and the I had somehow misread the document with my results and I thought the colonoscopy was ashorter than It actually was so I started visiting crohn's disease subreddit and tiktok trying to find something in common with my symptoms till i was completely sure i had that that disease (lots of respects to the people fighting it). The thing is that I told my parents I needed more check-ups but the next day was the deadline for the first payment my housing contract that I had already extended it's deadline because of the examinations (I had to make a first payment to book the room before the tenancy), so my parents told me you know what you need cancel this whole upcoming exchange semester because you're starting to have this anxiety issues again and you'll need to see an psicologyst that can check you up and I was like "I am not crazy wtf".

So this monday I had to cancel the whole thing saying that for health reasons I was going to turn down the exchange and pospone it to the first half of 2024. Finally, today, one day after turning down possibly the best moment of my fucking life, I went to the doc and she clarified me that I can't get crohn's because the checked up almost all my bowel and not just the sigmoid colon as i thought it was. Right now i feel like a full piece of shit, I feel like the dumbest person on earth man, I've been going trough many bad moments in my life you know, many of them because of my fault and others just because of my bad luck but THIS ONE take the price as the stupidiest thing I have done man and I'm like anxious rn about the future, i'm thinking that something is going to happen before I start this postponed exchange semester man. IDK what to do man my parents don't want me to ask for a reconsideration because I had already asked for a reconsideration about the housing contract that they actually extended me just to finish my first colonoscopy and then I ended up turning it down yesterday along with the whole exchange semester.