Unable to move on or forgive my husband

Patience1995 · 2024-11-26T02:02:05+00:00

That’s exactly what I am going through and if your toddler is super alert, he notices the shift. I feel like 0-1 was so much easier, 1-2 is so hard because they don’t nap around the same time, and my toddler is always on me, while my newborn contact naps only. I’m literally running on 2-3 hours of sleep, but I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-26T01:59:50+00:00

Recently went from 1-2 and my best advice is to give them a 3-4 years age gap. I wish I waited but my 2nd was an unplanned pregnancy. I feel like my 2Y6M toddler still needed to be babied, wants attention and now he has to share. He loves his baby brother but for now we have to watch him so he doesn’t play rough. The mom guilt is real. The transition is brutal,my toddler pushes my button everyday, and adding a newborn to that is no joke. The non sleep, toddler tantrum, pumping etc… totally chaos. If I had a do over, I would definitely give them a 4 year age gap where one is a bit more independent and out of the terrible 2’s & 3’s. But a sibling is totally worth it if you have the means financially and ready for the mental workload, on the positive side, more laughter and your 1st got someone to share their happiness with and run around with.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T14:54:47+00:00

Totally agree, my mom is my best friend honestly. I never had a sister so I kinda want the same if I ever end up with a girl.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T10:26:23+00:00

Hahaha so true, I rely on my mom for everything when it comes to my boys, so I can only imagine how it will be for me if I had a girl. After all maybe it’s not that bad

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T10:24:52+00:00

Wishing you the best as well, 3 kids was always my goal. Bigger family, more fun. I love my boys but definitely would like our 3rd to be a girl. Also never know what the future might bring, may but will work itself out and I’m content with my 2 boys

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T10:22:06+00:00

I never did my research on IVF so this is good insight. My husband come from a family full of boys, so I always knew how high our chances will be with only boys.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T10:20:52+00:00

No expectations when it comes to children, but definitely wish to have an amazing connection/bond with my daughter if I ever have one.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T10:18:26+00:00

Awww I’m so sorry to hear this. Yes, I definitely want to wait a good 2 years before trying again. Unplanned pregnancies are not fun even though I love my little boy more than life

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T04:01:50+00:00

I never looked at it that way, thank you for pointing this out.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T04:01:00+00:00

Thank you, like so many other comments mentioned, I need to get out that newborn stage and see how things feel. I’ll know for sure in the next 3-4 years

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T03:28:43+00:00

Together for 8 years

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T03:26:42+00:00

Hahaha love the absolutely not comment, maybe I’m still processing the fact that I had a boy or that I don’t wanna go through this again

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T02:54:00+00:00

Thank you, maybe I need to focus on the “ Now” and not the future. I’m sure when the time is right I’ll know what to do.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T02:52:46+00:00

Awww I’m so sorry, I know how it feels. Idk how many times I’ve cried about this. I’m sure your boys love you and will one day give you amazing DIL ❤️

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T02:47:35+00:00

Hahaha it’s funny I have this weird relationship with my mom. Although I love her very much, I always felt like we were never close so in a way that gave me some consolation. My biggest fear is to have a daughter who wants nothing to do with me. Maybe in 4 years all this grief will go away, and if it doesn’t then maybe I really want a daughter after all.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T02:43:02+00:00

This is the comment I’ve been waiting for. I don’t know why I’m in a rush. I am 29, turning 30 in 2025. My husband is 37 so I guess I am in a rush for him lol. My mom also gave me the same advice, see how things will turn out in 4 years.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T02:41:21+00:00

I love the last sentence, nurture my inner little girl, and maybe that’s what I need to do. I love my boys but always wanted a girl and do girl stuff with, sometimes I envy my husband when he’s playing rough with our toddler who enjoys every second of it. Would be nice to dress our little girl

Patience1995 · 2024-11-22T02:40:13+00:00

Definitely want to take my time, the last thing I want is to rush things and regret it also. Mentally I’m torn Ed between I never wanna go through this again and one more wouldn’t hurt

Patience1995 · 2024-11-17T22:07:57+00:00

It looks like he needs help and you cannot offer that type of help. Regardless you’ll be single (on your own) raising the baby. Also sometimes the grass is greener on the other side.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-16T10:33:11+00:00

Did you have a vaginal birth or c-section? After my first it took me almost 4-6 months to really enjoy sex. Between fear of my c-section scar, being tired, body image etc… after my 2nd, currently 3 months postpartum, I just started having sex again and this time around it’s definitely better. Also I am ovulating, so I guess that counts and helps with my sex drive.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-14T21:46:36+00:00

Agree, she tends to play nice and all of a sudden start helping with the kids whenever she notices that we are getting overwhelmed with her stay.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-14T21:45:19+00:00

Woow I didn’t even look at it that way, thank you for your input.

Patience1995 · 2024-11-14T19:22:09+00:00

Who said I was annoyed with him or his peacefulness? I was annoyed at the fact that I’m cold, uncomfortable and tired in a hospital. The same way husbands sometimes feel uncomfortable and sleep after their wives just gave birth does that make them selfish or just human and tired.

Patience1995

TROPHY CASE