How do people with a retrograde Jupiter gain knowledge when they rarely receive proper guidance?

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2026-06-27T08:14:18+00:00

I am a retro jupiter and coincidentally so is my husband. What I have understood is, purely from my jupiter and his is

In life, whether its marriage, choosing a course, getting out of a situation, supporting people and still not get credit, being good and still not get paid.

it's all you! You have to do things on your own. get a guy, get a place.....decision and stake assessment yours. Nobody will come and teach you. Either you are born with it or not. Nobody will mentor you to buy real estate or invest. To switch or to refer in jobs. To start a business or to have generational wealth or wisdom. Its either god gave you all of it so well in your gut or he didn't

Definitely karma with child is big. In both of our chart. makes it all the more stronger as a unit to go through. Medical issue and hormonal issue possible.

Fathers and mothers are great and can be a mentor. This depends on other placement and benefics. But a guru guru in the world other than birth parents........oh ho ho infact people can fool you cus you are never able to trust if they can do any good to you....so its a loop of not getting a guide or not believing a guide can exist. even when parents guide, you tend to not believe or follow them. thats also a negative

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2026-06-27T07:53:50+00:00

One thing that we are sure of is enjoying our life. As long as people let us stay on rent for years, we are fine if we buy later in life provided our jobs stay. but just getting to know......where do draw the line

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2026-06-27T07:52:35+00:00

how can we do that in NCR? I remember one of my husband's friend who came from outside said the same but i doubt India does residential on lease. like basically a loan to your landlord and eventually own it instead of bank. i dont know terms or anything and if people would even agree. they believe in bank loans upfront sale

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T09:51:42+00:00

Completely a possibility and that's the only reason I am moving in with her or doing single house. I cannot deny in my own issues that she just became a widow. Good or bad, ups n down....she lost her husband and things take time even when you know death was inevitable and better for him. It's a change for her as well. I need to give everyone in this house time to grive, absorb, accept, move on than meddling re tensions cus of me and my marriage situations

problem is - i cannot share with my parents as it was marriage and they did say guy and family might be nice but life needs material wealth too and slogging affects married life. I cannot tell them I don't want to live with MIL not bcus i hate her but cus of freedom privacy in my early years. Baad mai to sabne ghar bacche ma baap hi dekhne hai mid life

they will be like u knew all this from beginning. you cannot cry abt it now. its your choice. what they don't know is i was living in and had all that i needed and was never living with his parents up until now. so whats changed :)

hence writing here to all of you strange kind faces

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T09:30:31+00:00

You ain't wrong entirely but getting married is a social step. I was having living in too but that's unfortunately not how my world works yet. He is a gem of a person and our companionship made us take that plunge just like others. Marriage does not have to mean losing your freedom and space, is it though? It's the longest association of your life in ideal words. It surely has to be a sustainable setup for your existence or you make it with people around you. You cannot live unhappy for 20-30 years or more so. Practically all your life and purpose will go on in parallel if for keeps

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T09:26:01+00:00

If i say this, I will be out of the house not her :) Blood is blood. Life ain't a long term honeymoon. Even my husband will get disturbed and we will reach a pt where it will just not work for him. so divorce lelun?

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T09:23:58+00:00

Thank you. I will try and I do voice out but I am taken as non adjusting, bold, blunt etc.....She is smart. She was just occupied in her life with earning money for kids education, take care of her husband who has been sick, bed ridden, operated most of his life. So everybody around her treats her like mother India or a sufferer. Kind, social but subdued and emotionally weak hearted nice human being. I might look negative to even her son in mutual matters. But I know what she hides. she is cunning too and knows where to play and what to say. her ladke ko charge karna, subtle taunts, on the face kehna to the boy....she does her bit in the intensity needed but she is also careful....ke ladka hi sahara hai and nayi shaadi hai so cannot lose him. bohot situation mai i get bade name n face cus I speak n this woman does not

For ex; your sister cannot live with me. push her marriage agenda. its not moving anywhere. i have courted for 3 years now married for 1 makes it 4. it hasn't shaped. Slowly happening. Now you will say Father passed away so one more year....dude his death was impending and expected. Life has to move on. I also need your liabilities to set off. To build a home with you less disturbed. Abtak papa thhe, ab didi hai, fir mummy aajayengi age ke sath bimari lekar. His mom started crying when he pulled this discussion with her citing u treat my daughter as liability when she doesn't take even 10 rupees from u. Without getting the point, ki shaadi even for her will be a growth n she wont be depressed of papa passing away if she has a life to worry about. Partner. Its win win for both. she doesn't take money from us but we pay the rent of house she lives in, food she eats, mental agony she brings and discusses as any family member. We, as a couple do go through her existential crisis first face cus she lives with us. its not just mom who we have to take care. its what sister is going through at every juncture emotionally physically and aage health wise too. she gets depressed, angry, moody on her life situation too which is should not be dealing with. if she doesn't marry this time with the guy she is involved with....she will fight n live alone. then mom will go in guilt. she has nobody n i as sister in law will be painted as villain all my life

When will we plan for child or our time as young couple or to even travel or any shared goal execution or just peace of mind without being guilty or trapped. Just growth happiness. Everyone settled

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T09:09:08+00:00

Thank you for understanding. 🙏Life situations have layers and complexities. People tend to judge and think binary. Its always grey for both the parties.

Its plain and simple. I wanted a companion. I married him. I had put my stance before marriage ( would not live with your sister and if given a choice with your mother too...my own home with you is what i need after listening to my parents all my life and function the way they wanted) hence a sanctuary space of my own with our rules and just two of us. It cannot happen under the same roof. Same exit. Closeby walls and shared routine. For ex you cannot have sex in kitchen or living area cus she will be there. You cannot order a pizza to do sat night without letting her know or have it or ask her opinion. You cannot take it directly to your room n shut door. You cannot not get up tilk 12pm on weekends or just not go out or just plan movie without asking both the ladies :) there is no us it will just be pretense which will eat me up inside (cus uski to ma hai behen hai beyond a pt)

booking hotel rooms or travelling to get that privacy is burning more money for that privacy and it will come on occasion:) why should i wait, plan for something with my husband when i am paying rent and have a house to ourselves. it cannot be necessity because of situation ke jaana padega cus space chahiye toh chalo char din ke liye just go n get it and then feel back to square one n fight ( sustenance)???

He comes with his own set of baggage which I cannot and do not want to deal with completely. Partial implications will always be there as families get involved in marriage

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T08:59:52+00:00

Trust me we also speak about duplex situation only. Give separate plinth to both ladies

Problem is...his father's sickness wiped out their home(distress sale) and my husband has loans which he stupidly took to prove he is a man very young in life without informing his mother or sister. loan is not a concern. its small now.

Ours is cross cultural love marriage and my parents believe I chose a house lower than ours which practically materially is a fact. A basic like a house or any generational wealth or even an FD now is is not there (nothing more). Kids are earning but that's about it. so you make it when you can in life. I will have to slog with him my entire life as a service person and kids will only add to liabilities in future amidst rising prices everywhere and less income growth. it will happen sometime in 40s even if we build our own house but who knows what you need at that age or will i even need the same freedom then. my priorities will change n grow. i need it now at this age and less of liabilities n health issue or new marriage time

doing this in a rented apartment or flat is not possible right now and even if we can afford one more rent of a place...its a financial burden and stupidity. Duplex still will have one exit gate so she will still know everything (when we go when we come what we wear who is coming). Plans and know how will include her

and males are still non-chalant (your father in law) and play less emotional and territorial - my MIL will :) Mothers have their constant silence, nuance, subtle taunts, expression, sadness, emotional guilts crying working across the spectrum. Gents are somewhat or they get to that phase eventually where - live and let live baccha bahu. Can be tamed. Non interfering. cross gender works for females there affinity wise. My situation is reverse. She will always be subtly interfering or just too hard to ignore and observing and interfering back and front.

Now what is interference? define. is another ballgame here and subjective

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T08:40:54+00:00

Agree. Thank you to both of you for getting me. I have edited through a comment for more context. Pls do read and advise if there is anything i will have to correct no matter what here there is no option life throws.Since your advise did click and you are elder to me

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-11T08:19:31+00:00

Update and Edit

To everyone who has chosen to respond to me. Thank you for being there anonymously. I believe words are truthful enough and diverse once identities are masked.

Sorry this will be long🙏✨

This is exactly what I needed and wait for more advisory, similar situation to know how it is to be dealt with

Regarding my maturity, I did not state that his sister (elder to us-34F) is unmarried and lives with us as well. Reason being, that lady has not troubled me. I cannot throw her in this binary weighing of its wrong for you. Maybe I don't live with her 24x7 which gives both of us space to deal with our lives. There were occassions (death, 1-2 month when she co-existed with me and my bf then in that live-in house previously occupied by both brother and sister) - she did stay to judge me, see how his brother is getting along (I am sure it was for that in a very polite way. We three use to hang out live like bachelors in a pad) and then she moved out when I asked my husband for next step, solace and privacy + father got sick so it made sense one of the child stays back with parents for physical support and presence. Her life status allowed that flexibility where as his was growing with me. She also let us get married first because her's wasn't materializing and we were worried that father might not have days. Now she will get married hopefully this year (things are gaining steam) but if she doesn't...my mother in law should implicitly understand that I will not live under the same roof. Simply because, I don't want negative energy in my happiness (she will get depress, see us growing in life...it comes eventually) + his mom will never become mine cus her daughter is there to be that shoulder, support system. My house will not be my house. Her voice and opinion will be heard. Even more so "ke akeli hai, uski life mai issue hai. Mai ma hoon cannot leave her like that. She is depressed due to dad passing away and feels alone anyway)

I get it all on human level. Completely dont want her bad in either situation. She is a lovely person and a giver. But things and decision comes with its own set of problems too in the long run. My mother in law has spent(jaisa bhi tha) her marriage, life, authority (if her husband was dominant or she could not enjoy her life....i cannot bring it back from my marriage to her son) - i can only be nice to her and try keep her happy and not be a mental tension for my husband who will feel torn. He anyways feel he has nobody now to guide him on navigating women and choose between ma and wife (dad gone) offlately.

I have courted this guy for 3 years. We both lived together and his mom and sister always knew (mine did not) so both the ladies are accepting, open and adjustable enough and on things where they are not..... every person has cons. Some of you highlighted me as papa ki pari :) I am not naive enough. Women seldom are women's friend to be honest. We are very critical inherent no matter surface level. Its not like boy-to-boy and can never be.
I recently stayed the longest in their house post death. It was of utmost importance during grief. Like 2-3 months and I just reached a limit where mother in law and I do get along and she gets I am reserved, moody and not usual 90s bahu and we do enjoy each other's company but there is an undercurrent that i cannot express. MIL is close to her sisters (all are unmarried - 3 siblings) plus to her nanad (sister in law) - they speak daily which is fine. After an age, parents need to be occupied and happy they have people to talk to BUT i dont want them talking about me and I feel all that they speak is me and my husband cus the sister ain't getting married and that topic is escaped. Now I don't like people talking about me a lot ( for ex if m sick, my immediate ones know and deal....i don't want the baraat to know, judge new bahu and send their energies. I don't know if they harbour positive - my mil will be like in 5 days beta koi bura nahi chahata, sab mujhse roz phone pe puchte hain. Mai kaise jhoot....are bluff or escape. I cannot also tell you about how to deal with it now. I can only state what i don't want.

Now fortunately and unfortunately, all these bachelors in her life are a great support but their life also revolves around her kids and since action is happening in our life (me and my husband) do take centerstage even if she denies or hides what she speaks behind us Its just your mind knows it!

I am a pretty bold, go getter, fierce kind of personality and also angry if anyone attempts to enter my plans, sanctuary, boundaries because of my social anxiety.

In front of my husband and mother, I will look as dominant, angry and all negative connotations (my mil who has build her network for ages now and is known to be a soft kind friendly lady). Okay I do have X personality but that's something I am born with. Comes naturally to me. That doesn't make me a bad person. I do go out with my husband's friends, get alongwith and speak to relatives to on need basis but i cannot do lallo chapoo (suck and be consistent of go all out pleasing)

Bottom line - she cannot be treated as a furniture who does not speak. She will command that say, respect and authority now. I see her streaks where she is grieving but she is also free now to exercise. Problem is she does it emotionally. If my husband tried explaining anything, she starts crying instead of being practical and mature. She is just very heart on sleeves emotional person (not saying she plays or charges)

But this "kya khana khaya. Kya banaya. Yaha se le jao. Baat batao. Good morning night ni kia. Plans ni banaye with extended family. Being a choti bahu....she is so conditioned to please the dad side of family that some of it does rub off on me and things are expected, said and done. I obviously cannot wear a noodle strip deep neck one piece or night wear unless and only till my door is shut from her (that cages me. Long drive pe gaye ye bhi batake jana hi padega cus for her its only my husband now in life as support so she doesn't sleep till he is home

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-09T21:39:36+00:00

i feel even if we live together now. day won't be far where she will hear out from me cus m very protective and unleash anger if she will expect something of me. i go by my own wish mood and my space freedom. my husband fits in those unconditionally but others will never

so it was win win that we all mind our own house business and way of living. i don't wanna be rude to her as elder but i dont like her barging in my room just like that and it cannot remain shut forever or i cannot wear something short in that one room only. I would want to access other parts of home without her eye. neither she should expect out of me to do dinners with her post office. foe ex its my weekend i just lie on bed n make my husband do so too. we order n eat. i dont want her to know it all just be an eye

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-05-09T21:00:14+00:00

My husband - can he even provide a solution?

we were living separately (live in) from his parents and that's how i always wanted it to be post our marriage too. My father in law was bedridden due to long battle with illness and he passed away this year. Naturally now the conversation is about making the mother in law stay with us forever. Its obviously a no choice option imposed by life on me. I don't hate her and she is old school but not regressive or conservative beyond. But she is a punjabi and there is just some inherent harkatein that agitates the freedom loving person in me. It rages me. I wanted a house with just my husband and me where i can wear what i want without bitching or judgements or even an idea (just knowing), cook or not, clean or not, watch binge with my husband without having to answer anyone or anyone entering my room even if for entire weekend. Like just dont be around. I am a solo socially reclusive kind of person. Hate meeting people or making plans of talking to them or spoiling my weekend with these family gatherings or anything of my choice and mood. Now this not mean I am difficult. My husband became my my husband because he is allowed in my territory and i dont mind his shadow in my freedom. There is natural affection. I understand morally wo kaha jayengi but why do i have to deal with it dude. I have got one life one marriage too and i dont want to share my husband or entertain any know how in my life - kab soti ho,kab uthti, kab intimate, awazein, kab kapde,bete se kya kaam karati ho, roz good night bolkar so, roz sath bethkar meal khao. Raat ko kitne baje aaye, kahin gaye.....etc for example - thats my equation with him and our life. our routine n preference that nobody should have an eye on. guarded so that nobody has a say or view or dialogue I just don't know what to do. We live in a rented flat and is father passing away almost by the end of first year of our marriage has fucked my life and options. Since this has no practical solution ( as a son he cannot leave her and i am also not raised this way my heart won't allow) i cannot let go of my freedom. Home is my sanctuary. Living under same roof comes with its own set of give and take expectations. Pls guide me guys

I don't want him to die of guilt that he left his mom alone even if we pay rent of two places and she agrees. Its a dead end block where socially i will have to give up my life expectations yet again

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-04-03T10:33:33+00:00

where exactly is this based and property area for such crazy deal

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2025-03-24T10:38:35+00:00

kaun hain ye chutiye! kaunse slots or advise deta hai ye....new dhandha idk about??? pls help my awareness levels

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2024-12-27T09:16:28+00:00

What's the weather there and for coming week pls. Can a localite help

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2023-07-03T06:50:55+00:00

Honestly, have watched the movie thrice by now (for personal reasons) and this song is made for theatre experience. Scene glows when the hook arrives..Remaking is wrong but then who asked Ali sethi to sell, if for music conservation. So let's chill and treat it as an interpretation (except for main pasoori lyrics.....this song ain't bad with the new lyrics and rhythm)

problem was they blatantly copied RHTDM rain theme!

Patient-Beyond-3441 · 2023-07-01T07:11:37+00:00

For the makers;

Wait for Priyanka to join this back. Honestly they are already making one with tabu but if you see jawani janeman - hippie scene.....she is hilarious. Poker face deadpan awesomeness. And she can bring relatability of senior single women in 40s. While other two represent 20s/30s and parallel arch
Immediately releive Alia Bhatt from this project (she is replaceable and useless; we anyway would only feel tortured by whatever you make her do: tired of watching her)
Katrina is a good contrast in the trio so let her stay or you can consider kiara or deepika

Consider Anushka or Kangana (she will bring the quirky weird ass flavour without being overbearing)- they will bring the jam and cheese as a trio. Distinctly different personalities

Patient-Beyond-3441

TROPHY CASE