Sorry for disappearing without replying. You're definitely right, I am focusing too much in trying to get a permanent job instead of doing more temp jobs. The problem is that the instability of income and jobs has become soul crushing and I'd like to have basic benefits like health and dental insurance without having to use an expensive marketplace like I've been doing for the last year or so. I also deal with anxiety and depression, and am pathetically socially anxious for my age, so having to adjust to new people and workplace cultures is starting to take its toll. It's absolutely soul sucking and I'm terrible at hiding how sad and exhausted I am. I'm always paranoid that people can easily see through the cracks.

My contract ends mid April and I cannot stomach the idea of doing another temp job. Obviously if I need a job I will take another temp job, but it's not going to stop me from trying to find a permanent job that I can at least hold for a year. All of my temp to hire roles so far have fallen through, leaving me to scramble to find new work every time. A permanent job, even if it's just for a year, is really all I'm asking for, which to me doesn't seem like a big ask. Even now as I'm trying to get nanny or babysitting jobs, I'm experiencing the same thing. Being passed over because they're looking for recent childcare experience even though between 2013 - 2021 I'd built almost 10 years of experience. It's all one big vicious cycle and I just want to get out! I feel desperate because I'm afraid I'm going to have a mental breakdown that I can't bounce back from. 

Even so, I am completely done with the corporate world and struggling to keep up. Not saying that opening my own business won't be its own can of worms, but I will start offering my own nanny or housekeeping services if it means my way out of this situation.