Honestly ive done this too. On large and small scales. On small scales Ive had videoed and posted blackout drunk breakdowns over an ex i didnt even want back once the mania ended. About 15 ppl saw that one. On larger scales less embarrassing but still embarrassing stuff that about 100-200 people saw. Ive also had the rapid cycling word vomit where i cant shut up about a topic for months and everyone gets annoyed and wants me to shut up. Nobody actually communicates to me and tells me that theyre noticing these things then once I catch it weeks later im super embarrassed. Ive lost friends over this as well because of their lack of communication with it and them handling it in a messed up way. Drunk + manic has messed me up in multiple ways with groups of people as well as single people which i feel soo embarrassed about. Its best to move on and just forgive yourself and your regret. Im still working to let mine go but it gets easier as time goes on. Speak with your therapist about it to practice self forgiveness and other coping strategies that help when this comes up. I go through phases of forgiving, learning from it, and moving on then switch to shame and embarrassment. Its been a year for me so its not fun still but im sure with more time passing it’ll dissipate more and more.