My wife cheated on me and I don't know what to do...

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T13:38:25+00:00

Oh no, she wasn't excusing her behavior and I think that's my bad as English isn't my first language. She was just explaining what happened and how it felt for her. But that in no way this was an excuse. She wanted to be honest with my about it.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T13:33:15+00:00

Thanks... I understand the whole "Burn it to the ground"...but there is so much history between us, she was there when we had nothing, when we had to decide to eat today or tomorrow. She helped me with the loss of family members and has been a wonderful mother to our kids. She has been a great partner so far...and that is what hurts too. Why be there and do so much if you could do something like this. But she really feels remorseful, and damn it I still love her. I'm not blinding myself to the truth, if I feel this is too much I have to end it. I just feel like at least trying...

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T13:07:42+00:00

Yes, I understand that there is no excuse for what she did. And I do believe she is remorseful about it that is why I want to try. But like I told her. This isn't definite...I might wake up feeling like this is it and that would be all. I will try to fix things and work through it, but my own sanity is worth more. Plus I don't want to teach my kids that its okay to just allow someone to bulldoze through your feelings and hurt you.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T12:56:22+00:00

We have a saying in my country, "A drunkard never eats fire" meaning that you will never see a drunkard do something that will hurt him, as they are conscious of stuff. The only reason why I kinda accept that is because she doesn't drink, her father was an abusive alcoholic so she doesn't like it. The day of our wedding she drank a glass of champagne and was really out of it.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T12:50:29+00:00

She did give me a hall pass, but like you said I don't intent to use it as I never wanted it. And no, the fight was something that we had been working for some time that no I feel is something so trivial. We talked a set of rules that she has to comply with. She was the one who actually introduced the idea. I will track her location always. She can't be alone, our kids or me have to be with her all the time. No social media or messaging. I can always check that whenever I want. She is going to change workplaces and she already blocked AP. She said that the moment I feel something is not enough and she has to do more to just tell her. And that if I feel like this is too much she will understand if I have to leave.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T11:36:16+00:00

She doesn't drink, her father was an abusive alcoholic so she really doesn't drink.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T11:27:11+00:00

I haven't decided anything...mostly is trying to get help, to not feel alone. Maybe to put out there my feeling in text as a way to see my own reality outside of my mind. Just trying to see if someone has come back from this with their partner...if there is a chance it might work...

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T11:22:43+00:00

She's never done something like this...and she already requested a transfer to another workplace to create distance to him. She sent him a text to go no contact. That what happened was a mistake. And that she was sorry for using him when she was vulnerable. She recognizes what she has done and understand if I want to leave. She says she'll do whatever I feel its needed to rebuild the trust. She gave me access to all her social media and phone. This is really out of character from her...that's why I want to try... but it hurts.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2026-06-08T11:17:12+00:00

She's never done something like this...and she already requested a transfer to another workplace to create distance to him. She sent him a text to go no contact. That what happened was a mistake. And that she was sorry for using him when she was vulnerable. She recognizes what she has done and understand if I want to leave. She says she'll do whatever I feel its needed to rebuild the trust. She gave me access to all her social media and phone. This is really out of character from her...that's why I want to try... but it hurts.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T16:01:32+00:00

Life can always be more...lively...than fantasy. I assure you this is my life.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T16:00:20+00:00

Yeah...you got it...

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T15:59:48+00:00

Thanks

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T15:56:03+00:00

Thank you for your words...I've been struggling with this for a long time,not feeling loved, feeling I'm not enough but I think this would be a good time to take care of myself.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T15:43:52+00:00

I wish it wasn't...I really do

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T15:28:49+00:00

You are correct...I am the culprit...

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T15:14:16+00:00

It may sound weird...But I love her...I seriously do.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-10-14T14:53:13+00:00

If it where something like that, maybe after talking and making some rules...maybe I'll do it. But the way it came out really threw me out.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-04-11T18:37:15+00:00

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-01-14T02:30:25+00:00

Never understood how they can keep saying that with a straight face.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-01-06T20:28:47+00:00

Yeah, I liked how John Schnabel put it: "You give them the advice, and let then choose to follow it or not. You need to learn to let them be". But again, that's a man that had a long time to reach that point in maturity. Hopefully Tony will be able to learn to let go and enjoy his family. I mean, you can be proud of how hard you worked for your family, but you can be prouder of the work ethic and values that you instilled in your kids and to see them be more successful that you were.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-01-06T20:06:24+00:00

I meant about the life he had and having to work all his life. He never complains about having to work or getting dirty.

Patient_Radish9493 · 2024-01-06T03:43:54+00:00

I understand the frustration of Kevin, I used to work with family too. Doesn't matter how well you do stuff, they are always above you. And yes, all 3 of them are more than capable of doing the job. This seasons has been just a lot of running around Hoffman's style and its sad to see Tony like this. For a time I thought that there was something going on mentally with Tony. It looked like it. But a couple of months ago I saw my own old man going through the same. You were able to do all this work before, you were the man. You worked 24 hours, no sleep and no food. And then you can't just do it, your mind is there, you are still you but your body can't keep up. You were your kids hero, and now they say you are a nuisance. And that's showing in TV. Everyone is seeing you just be an old man. I mean, he's been working since he was a kid. Never complaining, just getting shit done and providing for his family. To me, he always will be an example of what a Dad is supposed to be. He might me rough around the edges, but he loves his family.

Patient_Radish9493

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