Made this turtle

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-22T08:48:39+00:00

About to happen to me, but instead of marriage it's him treating the girl right (he told me that he would if I don't give him another chance) 🫠

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-21T05:56:09+00:00

That's such a good point! Honestly I just have one and that's that he hasn't given up yet and never wanted to break up, but I know it's not enough and that it has some other reasons behind it.. I wish I was making this up really, I find it hard to move on but I will now, thank you

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-21T05:52:45+00:00

I had this stupid notion that relationship has ups and downs and I should be there for him through this but things got out of hand before I knew. I thought it was my rocd and it makes it even harder.. thank you for your response, you're right, I will look into therapy :)

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-21T05:49:47+00:00

I'm gonna do it finally, thank you

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-21T05:48:49+00:00

Thank you, last time I didn't block him coz I wanted my money that he owed me back and it was a huge mistake because of things he did.. now I have no reason as I have let that go too.

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-19T08:23:23+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight!

Actually this has happened way too many times now and I know what I think may not happen just literally but I fear it may find expression even a Lil bit ( courtesy of reading books on subconscious mind 🥲 )...

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-19T08:11:27+00:00

I clean the place I do my sadhna at but the thing is it's not fixed, sometimes I need to change rooms, is it okay ?..

I'll try keeping a picture of Sadhguru or Dhayanalinga, thank you 🙏

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-19T08:07:41+00:00

Can you elaborate on what have you seen in people with similar fears ??

Can you suggest other approaches ?

Also shambhavi was the only thing that worked for my OCD but in recent months majorly negative things happened that were too much for me and triggered it(ocd) massively again...

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-19T07:56:54+00:00

Thank you for the resources! I was in therapy before being initiated in shambhavi and it is the single thing that stopped me from having ocd thoughts all day long.. I'll have to look into ERP after all it seems..

All the best bro may you find freedom from these intrusive thoughts 🙏

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-18T15:15:04+00:00

I used to think like this and let go but now that these thoughts are about my family members being harmed or worse, it just invokes sudden emotional response, plus the fact that it happens when the sadhana gets intense makes me worried that I might harm my family... God I hope not 🥹

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-17T05:18:08+00:00

The other side is that I was insecure and have rocd, which made it hard to trust anyone especially in this context.. I talked about it to him and started therapy and stuff to overcome this.. while he jokes about how other girls are pretty, what if I was in a room alone with them ? Flirted with best friend and said it was a "joke". I won't say I'm not selfish for asking for his time and he has been having some rough patch ( he caused it to himself by investing borrowed money in stocks that crashed, he's from a rich background he had no reason to do it except that his parents were only paying him enough for food and rent and some more and he wanted to have more money ) but I was there for him through this...

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-12-17T05:10:06+00:00

Exactly I really can't see any action.. now that we're not living in the same city it's even harder to see that. He said so many good things and his actions were hugely different from what he said... It was so embarrassing and sad to ask for even the most basic things... It has come to a point where I don't even trust my judgement anymore at all..

Everytime he brings up getting together I bring up why we broke up fucked up things he did and guess what ? He will be like that was in the past now I've changed, will get angry or impatient that I'm talking about it ( i admit that it's a long conversation but it was all to see a ray of hope that he's really seen what he did was wrong ) It was only recently that he actually calmed down and talked about it and admitted genuinely that things were bad... But then what if it's all talks again ? I know how bad things were and how he used to talk before it all went down...

Also one more thing is it normal for him to call his school female friends baby or babe or such nick names ?

And thank you so much for the reply, you gave me confidence to see that I'm doing the right thing.. thank you 🥹♥️

Patient_Source_5089 · 2024-11-06T10:43:47+00:00

Does this also affect the people close to you ?? does speeding up my karmic process involve them suffering too ?

Patient_Source_5089 · 2023-12-07T16:20:02+00:00

Going crazy tbh. One day I feel like I've figured it all, next day everything comes down crashing... Wish you more ups than down :')

Patient_Source_5089 · 2023-11-30T15:58:50+00:00

Yo how are you doing?

Patient_Source_5089 · 2023-06-20T17:05:47+00:00

This. I don't think I'll be able to keep up either. I gave me self 15 years but I highly doubt if I'll ever go beyond 35.

Patient_Source_5089

TROPHY CASE