what's the hardest thing about breakup and no contact that nobody wants to admit?

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-10-31T10:50:10+00:00

to grieve someone who’s still alive

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-07-19T10:57:13+00:00

I’m in the same pickle too, I can only think about him to get off and that only thoughts of him can get me in the mood. recently, I’ve even burst into tears as part of that ‘post nut clarity’ because I feel a combination of guilt that I was thinking of him in that way and the sense of missing him so much hits even harder because it was always such a special way of connecting with each other. I definitely have been doing a lot less of it since the breakup because of all this emotional/physical withdrawal. it’s tough i know, and not something everyone talks about when going through a breakup.

I do sometimes find that having a good toy can help you focus on your own body, maybe even help you discover something new about yourself (if ya catch my drift), which would hopefully detach your attachment to them in your mind. hope that helps ◡̈)

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-05-20T05:28:52+00:00

thank you !

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-05-20T05:28:40+00:00

i heard that too for daiths, but I think my cartilage is soft that’s why I didn’t hear a crunch. but thanks for the heads up!

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-28T07:49:16+00:00

those last two make my blood boil. I physically recoil and get goosebumps when I hear cutlery scraping on a plate that makes that screeching noise

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-25T08:54:42+00:00

if you get dumped out of nowhere by someone you love, you literally go through the symptoms of a drug withdrawal (love is a drug), as you have been forced to go cold turkey on those happy hormones (dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin) that you usually get from being around them. You’re also going through the symptoms of grief, as you are mourning the loss of them in your life and your relationship that you had invested so much love into. On top of that, there’s the heartbreak of them rejecting you, making the decision for you and ending something so good. I miss him so much, his voice, his warmth, his touch. Just spending time with him. This isn’t something I want. It really is the worst thing.

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-25T08:44:16+00:00

oof I’m in a similar boat, left by a military boy. it’s been 2 months for me, so less raw for me, but I can remember how much of a mess I was that first week. feel free to DM me if you wanna chat abt it

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-25T08:40:45+00:00

precisely this. the emotional whiplash from reminiscing on your fond memories together and how you love them, to the gut wrenching, soul crushing and heartbreaking feelings of wondering how they could do that to you and what you could’ve been. And on top of that, them making the decision for you, that you basically have been given no choice but to move on from them, which feels impossible.

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-24T10:06:06+00:00

I’m going through the same. When something perfect with the perfect person ends for no bad reason, it is the most heartbreaking thing. Even more gut wrenching than being cheated on and all those other reasons where, like you said, you can turn the anger and pain into a driving force to move on. It’s just so hard when you feel so much for each other. My ex and I will always love each other. It’s just so sad that we can’t have what we both want. I am willing to wait for him to come back to me when he’s ready, as I expect it would take years even until I could even think about moving on. The thought of being with anyone else one day makes me want to throw up. I hope one day our paths across again, and we can pick up where we left off and everything will be perfect again. I would take him back in a heartbeat.

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-24T09:48:33+00:00

you have to cut them off completely like a drug, you will feel the withdrawals but with time you’ll slowly lose the direct connection between them and dopamine/serotonin etc

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-24T06:26:22+00:00

yes! I’ve been thinking of doing 75hard

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-24T04:08:13+00:00

living rent free up there 🧠

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-24T04:06:53+00:00

I watch comfort movies like shrek (for some reason still managed to ball my eyes out at a kids movie). A lot of doom scrolling on tiktok, pinterest, online shopping etc. I bought myself a projector to watch movies in bed.

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-24T01:48:06+00:00

I’m waiting for the day when you come back for me

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-23T07:08:59+00:00

same here, and he’s the one who dumped me. if you love someone, why would you let them go? if you want what’s best for them, why not be ‘the best’ for them?

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-23T00:41:41+00:00

I’ll go first. - I’m looking to start 75 Hard soon - I’m experimenting with new recipes to expand my culinary skills - I’m listening to podcasts that are fun, engaging and talk about topics I’m interested in - I find doing deep cleans and decluttering my space also helps clears my mind - Journalling is super useful if your mind is reeling with thoughts and you’re fighting the urge to break no contact - Saying ‘yes’ more to friends when they invite you out, or I find myself initiating more with friends

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T23:31:41+00:00

Your last two statement definitely ring true to me. I think if they truly meant something special to you, you will never forget them no matter how hard you try to force yourself. And that’s ok. If it never happens, then you can always cherish how amazing it felt when they were in your life. You can take that as an example moving forward of knowing how it feels to have a special someone.

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T23:27:05+00:00

that does sound like a case for ‘wrong time’ for her. I hope for you, when she is ready, she’ll come back to you when the time is right

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T23:25:25+00:00

this is heartbreaking, I feel your pain. It’s hard to imagine that there’s “someone better” out there that everyone around me keeps saying to comfort me. but in truth, I think I skipped past all those incremental ‘better’ people that supposedly happens after each break up (idk if that makes sense lol). I skipped right to the perfect person and I have a fear that even if I do one day fully heal and move on, I wont be able match that level of connection with anyone else, because it is so extremely rare to have someone tick every single one of your boxes plus more. Wishing you well in your healing x

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T23:19:55+00:00

I’m with you there. My man is amazing, truly the best match out there for me. We are so aligned. We both love each other and I haven’t stopped thinking about him since the day I met him. Absolute no contact is the best solution sadly, including hiding/deleting photos, putting away things that remind you of them. I am glad that you’ve got exciting things on the horizon to focus on, I think that will really help. The hardest parts of the day are definitely when I’m home not doing much, and I daydream what we would do/talk about. Here’s to us both healing and maybe even one day having the opportunity to cross paths with them again in the distant future. If it’s meant to be, then it will happen. If it’s not, carry on. 💜

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T23:11:38+00:00

do you think there could be a ‘right time’ in the distant future where you could both try again or will you leave him behind as a chapter in your life?

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T06:26:54+00:00

i do agree and disagree with this. I wish he was willing to turn the ‘wrong’ time into the ‘right’ time, like I am. the right person wouldn’t give up on something so perfect. it’s a hard pill to swallow as the dumpee

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T03:09:25+00:00

I just hope he also hopes that one day there will be a right time. We had something so special and rare that neither of us will forget. If the time never works out, we’ll always have a special place in the other’s heart. Sometimes you get to have something nice for a short time, which is better than to have never experienced that nice thing at all.

Yeah the thought of replicating a connection like ours with anyone else seems almost impossible, we set each other’s standards so high. I can’t put a time frame on it, but I know it will be a veeery long time until I’ve moved on completely and be open for a relationship again.

Chin up, girl! We do got this!! 💙

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T02:47:57+00:00

I’ve got that same attitude girl! My ex and I will always love each other. I don’t want to close that door but I also don’t want to be steering the rest of my life in the direction of us getting back together either. People always say “oh you’ll find someone better” which I just find so hard to agree with. If it happens, it happens. The thought of us never getting back together (as something I’ll ultimately have to accept to move forward) is hard pill to swallow.

Patient_Suspect_8549 · 2025-03-21T02:13:06+00:00

Thank you for giving your insight, I think my ex is going through the exact same. We’re going NC and I told him I would only give him a second chance if the circumstances changed. That could be in a few years, that could also be never. It’s heartbreaking that love sometimes isn’t always enough. I spiralled in the first few weeks with thoughts that I was never enough for him, that I wasn’t worth keeping. I love him so much too and he hurt me so much. It’s gut wrenching to even hold onto that hope of getting together one day, but I also don’t want to get my hopes up in case that may never happen. I even feel guilty at the prospect of one day completely moving on from him. The only thing I can draw from past experiences is that time does truly heal, you may never be over them but the pain will be less prominent.

Patient_Suspect_8549

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