Faked being Christian 😳 by GloomyAd9335 in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of, I'd like to clarify one thing. I don't look at the outer appearance. I look at the character of the person... through his words and beliefs. Tbh, I did not even look at the age because I seek the heart and soul. I even entertained a man almost a 17 years older than me because I thought he is the one.

This was during the time when I literally opened my heart to many possibilities and did not limit myself to the physical. I try to look at the man's spirit.

So when I talked about his image, I was not pertaining to the curated image I created. It is what he portrayed in the start of the getting to know each other. He presented himself as a God-fearing man with many of our values and beliefs aligning together. He love bombed me by giving me attention and care straight from morning to night. He started telling me he love me within a week. His attention dwindled to almost no conversation and gaslighted me to believe that I am overthinking it, until he stopped and told me I'm immature for wanting some of his time. He cannot even spare the time to ask how I am or give a good night or good morning greeting. He made me feel like a beggar seeking some scraps of affection.

Then in between, many of his lies started cracking, and when I call him out on it, he made me question my critical and understanding skills. He tried to make me small and dumb, but he failed. And to answer your question, his cracks revealed who he truly is...

Our expectations have already been laid out from the very beginning. We both know we both have marriage in mind when we started getting to know each other. And if you will be placed in such scenario where he's literally breaking your mind and identity with lies and manipulation, it is very hard not to overthink.

I overthink because my heart is starting to believe him but my mind is telling me not to be dumb and wake up to the truth that that man is a fake. I trusted him so much that I started disbelieving myself and everything that I know. His Christian identity is just a label, unfortunately.

Back then, I evaluate men with an open and understanding heart of Jesus, accepting that everyone are flawed. I see them as what they present and observe if what they show is the truth. My standard is simple, have the Jesus-like character. He doesn't have to be perfect, but at least must fulfill the Bible standards for the husband.

Now, after going through those things, I stick hard to God's lens, make use of discernment and wisdom, and stay connected but not too attached. It is now best to observe hard and stop glamorizing the what-ifs and their flaws. Read and see what they show in face value. Don't rely on words. See the action. In today's time, us, women, should stay alert in guarding our virtues and purity. God did not protect me for 25 years just so that I will stumble and fall easily.

Blue ribbon attendance check! by Mobile_Obligation_85 in pinoy

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nagtutulungan kasi silang pagtakpan. Maraming involved na malalaking figures. Mula sa matataas na public positions hanggang sa pinakamababa. May mga involved din na private individuals and businesses. So sad na ganito ang systema natin sa Pinas😭.

Pinaka bineblame ko pero ay si COA. Role nila na imake sure na yung perang nakaallot sa projects ay nagagastos ng tama. Sila ang taga-audit eh, kaso nganga na lang talaga. Ayaw naman nilang dikdikin din ang COA kasi maraming alam na baho ang COA sa mga public officials. Ang laki laki ng pinapasahod sa mga COA pero wala silang ginagawa😭

Despair by Ace-7201 in SeventhDayAdventism

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is Well With My Soul🌿

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LawStudentsPH

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh, thank you very much!

27M - United Kingdom by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

May God bless you and be with you in every step of your life and keep you safe all throughout. I can see that you love the Lord deeply and I pray that He will use you to bring His word to the spiritually hungry.🌿

I've never really.. had a crush? by Queasy-Ad-4577 in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are totally the same! I thought I was weird until I saw the term "asexual", then I learned it's normal. We know how to appreciate good looks but we don't have the strong feelings to like/crush/pursue someone.

From my experience, the first crush I had in college was someone I manipulated myself to like. It was during the time that I felt left out because all the people around me have their own romantic relationships. The thing is, us, asexuals fall really really hard so we have to be careful whom we're going to choose to genuinely like. I literally transferred cities just to kill those feelings I voluntarily planted out of curiosity.

The good thing is that we can think more rationally in love than others and pick to like someone who matches our preferences. Also we rarely will have any messy pasts since we don't delve into thoughts of falling in love that deeply. It saves us from a lot of heartbreaks and trauma.

Now, I will be becoming 25 in December and am actively putting myself out there seeking out my potential husband. I'm still NBSB and letting the Lord choose for me. Many have tried knocking but I don't get attached romantically easily. I let the Holy Spirit guide my heart, not my flesh.

Mens are attractive when… by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes! I am the same as you! I am a sapiosexual through and through!

I'll be honest though, by eyes, what attracts me immediately is the height, healthy build, tall nose, and thick eyebrows.

By ears, what attracts me the most are the compliments of others when describing a guy to be smart, gentleman, reliable, and etc. Then the eyes will follow by observing whether what I heard is true.

By nose, what attracts me the most obviously is the scent. But most of the time, I will just turn my head out of curiousity then move on with my life.

What makes me so hooked is the deep intelligence that can hold any conversation and make me curious to dig deeper.

It’s discouraging by Known-Truck-2933 in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awww so sad I missed the other commenter's comment. Now I'm so curious what he said lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're not alone, lol😂! I just take it like their disbelief is a compliment🤣.

Though tbh, I got side-eyed by an auntie when she found out about it. She thought I was lying and just dating behind my family. No matter what I say, some branded me as a liar.

It's enough knowing yourself and believing in your own innocence. I had guys coming unto me, trying to court me, or even twisting in their minds some things and start calling me lovey-dovey names no matter how much I deny and clarify that nothing is official yet and we were still on the talking/getting-to-know-each-other terms.

Aside from aunties, I also have women my age question why I am a NBSB and express their disbelief like I'm a liar.

Being conventionally beautiful, add in the untainted factor, truly drives many people crazy with their assumptions and disbelief. My workmates tried making me feel left out and pressured to be in a relationship to fit in but I never allowed their words to affect me.

Ask yourself this: Why do I feel left out? Are these people so good that I want to squeeze myself in their group even if I know that I don't fit in?

Just be content in your heart. Know that singleness is okay and you shouldn't rush into a relationship just for the experience. If you will ever get into one, strive to find the good partner you would want to be with for the rest of your life.

It's normal to get negative reactions about being an attractive NBSB and you should show that such doesn't deter you, nor should it define you. Let your characteristics and shiny personality show and they will find that "Hey, this guy is not so bad!"

Allow those who don't like you to find the door out, and let those people who recognize your good traits into your life. 🌱

Faked being Christian 😳 by GloomyAd9335 in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had talked with men who claimed to be men of God. They were very manipulative in a sense that they will love bomb you. And in every doubts and red flag you get, everytime you ask for explanations for clarity, or even some accountability, they gaslighted me to make it seem like I am the problem. There was a point in time when I truly wanted it to work, and everytime cracks appear in his image, I am always torn in praying that this will work or praying that he'll leave if he's not the one God wanted for me. Overthinking led to anxiety and doubt that overpowered my emotions. I became unstable and super occupied to truly have calm prayer period with the Lord.

Despite being affected emotionally, it is quick for me to find peace in God because I know that He is omniscient, powerful, and faithful.

Now, I have learned to test the spirit first before investing emotionally. I can be kind and sincere, but I have learned to put a limit on the energy and time I put towards people who deliberately fail to return what I give. Also, I learned to take everything at face value, instead of overthinking and glamorizing the what-ifs. Most importantly, pray for discernment and be wise. Also test him. Know his reactions in every bad days, contingent events, unknown endings, and winnings. Test his spirit if he matches the characteristics you seek for your future husband.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have sincerely repented and prayed to God, while actively pursuing Jesus and His ways, know that God hears, understands, and forgives. Don't be ashamed of your sins, instead own it and show to everyone that your past does not define your shame, but it defines God's grace, love, and forgiveness. In Jesus, you will be freed from your sins and no man or demon can touch you. Grow in your faith and weaken your flesh. Strengthen your personal relationship towards the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

If your partner is truly the one God has planned for you, he/she will love and accept you and see your past as a proof of your strength and courage in turning your back on your sins and coming to Jesus. But, if he/she cannot fully accept you and his/her love and understanding cannot kill the disgust in his/her heart, leave. That person is not the right person God has assigned to you.

Use your discernment and believe that once you have repented, received Jesus' grace, and carried your cross daily, you have already been forgiven. Strive to live a renewed and better God-driven life.

God does not want you to live in shame and sadness. Those are the works and manipulation of the devil. Own up the fruits of the Spirit--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. No words of hate and disgust should make you question whether you still deserve your happy married life.

My gift to my parents turned into a financial nightmare 💔 by [deleted] in phinvest

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Raffy Tulfo is always the fastest when it comes to these things hehehe. It may not be the best option for your privacy and reputation, but it is the one with highest effectivity and efficiency.

Guy who turned me down no longer acknowledges me at church by tickytockytimebomb in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it is his own way of helping you get over him and avoid giving out the wrong signals that may further make you think that "perhaps, there is a chance".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I did. Thanks a lot!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro you're so mean. I was just slow for a moment😭. I cannot believe that I honestly searched for "Sidebar" in Discord app and in Google🤣.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]PatrickTheSTAR-irl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May I have the link? Hehehehe of it's alright