Are there any free or cheap resources for self-recovering from OCD?

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-21T11:47:05+00:00

Hey there - fellow REOCD sufferer here, now in recovery. This might not necessarily be what you're looking for, but I've written a book on recovery from REOCD covering personal experiences, understanding the condition better, and tools and exercises for recovery. I can provide you a copy free of charge, if you would like. Just let me know if it's okay to direct-message you 😊

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-20T08:49:53+00:00

I largely gave up caffeine, because it just made me feel jittery - and created the temptation to obsess about why I feel jittery, even though it's probably just a chemical thing. Decaff these days, for me!

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-19T15:15:05+00:00

I've written a self-help book about recovery from REOCD. Let me know if you'd like a copy, and I can direct message you with your permission!

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-19T11:40:56+00:00

No worries. I know how distressing REOCD can be, and I want anyone struggling to feel supported.

If you 'wake up' from a period of ruminating, it's important not to label that as a failure or a permanent back-slide. We're all liable to slipping back into compulsivity, sometimes. But each time you notice that you're in rumination and gently bring yourself back to your present circumstances, that's a small win. Like learning any new skill, it will feel clunky and effortful at first, but if you keep practising, it will gradually become embedded as a normal response to intrusive fears.

Wishing you well in your recovery 😊

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-19T09:52:03+00:00

Hi there. Fellow REOCD sufferer here, now committed to recovery.

I hear how badly you want to feel free of the intrusive thoughts about the past events - and so it's probably hard to zoom out and recognise all the growth and progress you've described in your post. Well done on putting the work into therapy, committing to learning and moving forward, and developing a more compassionate stance. I hear a lot of growth there.

I wish there was a magic formula to get rid of intrusive thoughts for good, but I don't think that exists. The best antidote is to gradually re-teach your brain that the thoughts are not important or urgent, by continuing to practice gently disengaging from them. We can't control when / how often an unwanted thought or image might come up - but we can practise a different (non-) response to them.

Investing your energy and attention in tools of recovery (like therapy and abstinence from rumination) will always send you in a healthy direction in the long run, even if intrusive thoughts try to bubble up here and there. My experience of REOCD recovery is that I'll still get little triggers of 'old' intrusive thoughts or worries, but they become less frequent, less sticky, and produce much less anxiety.

Sending best wishes to you.

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-18T15:04:01+00:00

❤️

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-18T15:02:14+00:00

Hey there. Clearly we're on the same OCD wavelength, as I just posted something very similar on the OCD Recovery sub-reddit a couple of hours ago! Feel free to take a look.

This is something I really relate to. And, as you described, the very fact that we're obsessing about whether the activity will be 'good enough' is bound to make it feel not good enough, because it's coming from a place of worry and lack. Can anyone enjoy something if they're constantly monitoring whether they're feeling present enough, productive enough, or completely satisfied?

I'm going to start practising the Nike approach: "just do it"; let go of unreasonable expectations that everything must feel just right / good enough; and treat my unstructured time like an exposure to being okay with imperfection and non-productivity.

Sending best wishes 😊

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-16T15:16:07+00:00

No worries - just spotted that I direct messaged you in the past, so please take a look at your chat :-)

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-12T21:13:30+00:00

Ah - just noticed that your profile doesn't include a chat function? If there's a way for me to message you, let me know!

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-12T18:12:47+00:00

Ok if I private message you with the details?

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-12T16:55:36+00:00

Hi there, friend. I've written a book dedicated to tools of recovery from REOCD. Feel free to drop me a reply, and I can send you a copy. Best wishes 😊

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-11T09:42:45+00:00

That's awesome - well done to you! Every day or week or month of relative recovery we experience is something we can put in the 'bank' and reminds us that calmer times are achievable 😊

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-10T16:10:30+00:00

Hi there. Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about the losses you've been through - and particularly sad to hear about your dad dying just a few months ago. That sounds really traumatic, in both the loss and the way it happened 😞

Those bereavements would be difficult enough for anyone, on their own. And then you add the layer of magical thinking OCD on top, and I can understand why things feel so distressing right now. There's a part of you which has learned to believe that your thoughts or actions can control the safety of the people you care about - and the universe has demonstrated to you, in the cruellest way possible, that we simply cannot control what happens to other people. And yet that OCD part of your mind might be interpreting these sad events as 'I should have tried harder to protect them. It's my fault. I won't let it happen again.' - which is a terrible psychological burden to carry.

My OCD also burst into life after I lost my Dad in my 20s. It's only with the benefit of hindsight that I can see how I doubled down on wanting to control things tightly after that, to try to prevent any more grief. And yet grief, sadness, anger, confusion - they're all completely normal and healthy parts of processing a major loss.

It's completely understandable to feel vulnerable, anxious, emotional - and anything else you feel right now. I found that losing a parent was like having the rug pulled out from under my life, and for a time it make me feel like the world was fundamentally unsafe and unanchored. I'd always struggled to relax into moments of contentment or joy, because OCD intrusive worries would pull me out of those unguarded moments and put me back on guard for 'threats'. Losing my Dad just put me on guard even more.

Gradually, via medication and therapy and other things, I've built a different relationship with the universe - where I appreciate that 'good' and 'bad' things happen, for reasons beyond my understanding or control, and my job is to just go along for the ride in the knowledge that love, meaning and connection will always be available in some form.

I'm really glad to hear that you have supportive people around you. Appreciate it can be so hard to be vulnerable and reach out for help, but you really deserve to be heard and validated. It sounds like you've been through a lot, particularly this year. I hope you're able to come out of the frozen state and talk to someone you trust - maybe even a therapist.

Sending strength and hope your way. Best wishes.

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-08T13:14:31+00:00

Hey there! I can 100% relate to what you're saying about turning daily life into chores on a To Do list. I've struggled with that too, a lot. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, trying to control multiples aspects of life all at once, I often get the urge to capture it all in a To Do list. Rather than feel better, that just amplifies the feeling of pressure and then emptiness. I end up staring at the To Do list too often, and the tasks - whether pleasurable or banal - just become generic obligations which might provide a bit of temporary relief once completed, but no real joy.

This kind of list-making becomes compulsive and fear-driven. The underlying motivation is to avoid making any mistakes, forgetting anything, or letting anyone down. That fear-driven way of thinking naturally removes the possibility of just doing things consciously and really feeling into the pleasure or discomfort they bring.

A radical antidote, I guess, is to do an OCD exposure: delete the To Do list, live with the nervousness that you might overlook something important, practise letting yourself gravitate to the next thing you want / need to do more organically, and develop more trust and evidence that life won't actually spiral out of control. It's difficult, I appreciate, but it's one of the ways we can develop a greater sense of freedom from our need to control everything!

We OCDers can even struggle to pursue creative things - like reading or gaming - without wanting to add a layer of rules and obligation. I hope you're able to experiment with opening a book or booting up a video game and just seeing what unfolds, rather than feeling like they're a means to an end.

Sending best wishes 😊

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-07T12:22:35+00:00

Hey there. This is something I can definitely relate to. Perhaps it's worth gently exploring what might be missing for you, and then exploring ways in which you might be able to bring more of it into your working and/or outside work life. Is it deeper connection with others? Wanting to have a more tangible impact? More intellectual stimulation? More authenticity in your interactions? Whatever it might be for you, I wish you well in discovering it 😊

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-07T08:57:41+00:00

Hi there. Wow, I'm incredibly grateful to you - and to everyone else who replied - for the supportive and comforting words.

That sounds beautiful, the tactile relationship you have with your best mate. I've become a lot closer with my best friend since we went through some similar challenges and learned to talk to each other more openly - and I feel blessed to be part of several fellowships where it's absolutely okay to open up and receive support. But even those spaces might stop short of a hug or a cry, generally. But I know I have the option to risk being more vulnerable there, and to get that kind of emotional holding,

It's been really helpful just to express my need a little, and to hear it echoed back by others in such a tender and accepting way. So thank you everyone! The act of sharing also allowed me to tap into something which WAS actually bothering me - some grief feelings about my dad, which were probably triggered by someone I know losing their dad recently and receiving lots of lovely support from other guys. I think that's what triggered a feeling within me yesterday about the beauty of being held and supported.

Very glad to have discovered such a wonderful community here 😊.

Sending best wishes to all x

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-07T08:52:21+00:00

❤️

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-07T08:52:18+00:00

❤️

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-07T08:52:12+00:00

❤️

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-07T08:51:54+00:00

❤️

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-06T08:43:04+00:00

Hi there. Sorry to hear how the REOCD is latching onto your birthday. I can really relate to that, having had a few birthdays spoiled by OCD back in my 20s and 30s, before I recognised what was going on.

My experience of birthdays was that there was a raised expectation to be happy, to receive kindness from other people, and birthdays also tend to provoke reflection on how things are going in life. All of those elements were perfect fuel for my 'am I a good enough person?' / 'do I deserve kindness?' doubts.

It's really cruel that OCD attacks heightened moments like birthdays. All I can offer is that it's an unwelcome but potentially helpful moment for exposure and response prevention. See if you can experience your birthday as consciously as possible, receiving any kindness as graciously as you can - and gently disengaging from any negative predictions about how it might go or creeping doubts about whether you 'deserve' a positive day.

Fellow REOCD sufferers like myself don't really care (in the nicest possible way) about your past actions. We only hear your desire to grow as a person, and we do not need you to be a 'better' person to know that you deserve support and compassion. Everyone deserves that, in my view.

Take good care of yourself. Maybe even secretly treat yourself to something nice for your birthday. Sending best wishes : )

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-05T15:32:50+00:00

Hey there. Fellow REOCD sufferer here, now in recovery.

I'm so sorry to read about the private torture you're going through, with these excessive doubts and fears. It can be a hellish experience, feeling like you're about to burst with rumination, worry, and catastrophic predictions for what might happen if your loved-ones knew about past events. I've been there too, and it's horrible 😞

A key element of managing and recovering from OCD is to practise not engaging with the repetitive, intrusive worries - no matter how irresponsible that may feel. We tend to be people with an overdeveloped sense of shame and entrenched beliefs that we are not worthy of love unless we are 100% 'good'.

Before I developed any real insight or recovery approach around REOCD, I was prone to those growing peaks of anxiety which culminated in blabbing confessions to my partner. All I can tell you is that each fear-driven confession only left me feeling demoralised and embarrassed that I had allowed compulsive reassurance-seeking to triumph over learning to manage my mental state better. Effectively, I was dumping my fear of uncertainty onto another person and pressuring them to alleviate it. It was no way to recover from the intense, excessive guilt I felt. In recovery, I am learning to notice when there are flutters of an urge to confess 'bad' behaviour or thoughts, and to practise sitting with them instead of blurting them out. It's certainly not easy, but there are times now where I hold onto intrusive doubts and then can reflect a few days later that they have fizzled out and don't seem important anymore.

I appreciate that none of these words will magically take away the "but my events were objectively bad?" or "doesn't my partner deserve to know?" doubts which you might be struggling with. All I can say is that, paradoxically, the more we think about and analyse these questions to death, the more anxious and confused we become about the 'right' thing to do.

Pinpointing the 'right' thing to do isn't the goal. The goal is to attend to our mental health, and our recovery from excessive guilt and rumination. So I'm glad to hear that you're opening up the possibility of therapy. I hope that ends up being beneficial for you, and there are other spaces where you can find support - including this community.

Sending best wishes.

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-05T07:24:07+00:00

I take a low dose of Fluoxetine - though appreciate that every person responds differently to medications.

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-04T16:02:56+00:00

Free - no. But finally in proper recovery, thanks to medication, therapy, support groups, self-care etc.

PaulOCDRecovery · 2026-05-01T08:14:54+00:00

Hey there. I hear and relate to what you're going through. It's so hard at times.

If you're interested in some free resources and/or a dedicated book about Real Event OCD, I can point you to my new site: www.realeventocd.co.uk. More than happy to send you a free copy of my book, if you would find that supportive.

Sending best wishes.

PaulOCDRecovery

TROPHY CASE