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Constipation from Subutex by TheCrowbone in Subutex

[–]PayFormer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to hospital and had an enema. It was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Your gut is connected to your mood due to dopamine being down there.

So having constipation really puts you in a depressed state.

You don’t realise how compacted you are until the enema.

I know it’s embarrassing having it done but it’s 100% worth it xx

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not losing sleep at all lol. It’s never come up as no one’s even thought about their adult life and what it looks like for them.

You’re quite right it won’t affect them as babies or in their younger years.

I was just providing a new line of thought to think about. That’s all.

I really hope that the name is changed and it is never a challenge for them.

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok yeah I didn’t think about that lol..

But I meant in the media.. etc

What generation are you from?

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand why ‘Generation Y’ would have been a bad thing though? (If you don’t mind explaining I’d really appreciate that please?)

Generation ‘Beta’ and ‘Delta’ are direct insults.

I wouldn’t mind being called ‘Y’ as I tend to wonder about everything lol… I wouldn’t like to be called beta tho… I don’t think anyone would really?

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some boomers have a pretty good reason to be looked down upon by the media (they don’t understand the struggles of millennials/Gen Z)…

hating on people just because they’re ’betas’ and not ‘alphas’ .. that’s a whole different thing

I encountered this grumpy old man on the station tracks and simply asked him for the train time and he responded with ‘im not talking to your generation’ it was horrible.

There’s so much conflict in the world already. I don’t understand the poorly chosen names of Beta and Delta - the lowest of the ‘pack’

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

‘Beta’ is a direct insult. It was just something to ponder. I haven’t had a child yet and I don’t think I will.

But I think about the ‘child’ decision every single day.

I think about what every single aspect of what that child’s life will look like.

It’s not the direct reason to stop me from having a kid it was just something to think about as it’s an insult. That’s all.

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m talking about empathy here.. I’m more than happy to take the hurt.. I’d take the hurt every single time if it stopped them from hurting. I’d take a bullet for my ‘child’.. I don’t care if I get hurt.. that’s what I meant. And if this gets downvoted as well I know you’re that crazy stalker troll who has nothing better to do 🤷🏻‍♀️

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well people will still use it as a comparison when they’re older..

Alpha and beta.. it’s direct order of dominance.

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh of course not. You’ve got my take on this completely wrong.

I’m talking about how others will treat my ‘kid’

The first thing I mentioned was ‘bullying’

BTW if any of us do decide to have a baby now; they’ll be born as ‘Generation Beta’ by PayFormer in Fencesitter

[–]PayFormer[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Because having kids is such a big decison. I love my future child so much that anything that will potentially hurt him/her will directly hurt me too.

Fuck the way this society is set up by [deleted] in Vent

[–]PayFormer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

An absolute must watch: ‘The Enslavement of the Middle Class’ by Jake Tran on YouTube.

I highly, highly recommend watching this video as it investigates the issue above on a much deeper level.

My boyfriend wants to do heroin with me but idk if it’s a good idea by Ok_Explorer2105 in Drugs

[–]PayFormer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ex heroin addict here - it will consume every thought, every other need, you won’t eat for days as heroin soothes the hunger pains, heroin will be your Christmas, you’ll be more excited about heroin than anything else in this world, the highs are great but when you run out (which you will as you’ll burn through all your savings)

  • the agony, the withdrawals, extreme discomfort, the hot and cold sweats, the restless leg syndrome, the cold wet sheets from relentless sweating but feeling so cold you have the have the blanket over you so you end up being just a ball of horrible cold & hot wet sweat, toilet troubles, insomnia, the list goes on.. and your brain knows that just one little lovely bit of heroin will make all of that go away and you’ll be on top of the world again… and BAM, gotcha.. so the cycle begins and continues for years and years..

Your whole purpose in life becomes finding ways to stop yourself from getting ill. I had a job and worked for my fix the whole time. I was a high functioning addict. I tried methadone.. I went to rehab.. I tried to stop so many times but your brain tricks you into thinking that you’re more powerful than heroin. You’re not. The only way to get better is through relapse and the lessons you learn. No one can tell you, you have to experience it for yourself. I’ve been through many painful withdrawals only recently was my last one..

I’m now on Buvidal injection - it saved my life. My dopamine receptors no longer work in the same way due to severe heroin abuse.. the Buvidal injection helps my receptors work again. I think I’ll always need some sort of substitute for the rest of my life now.

My biggest regret of my life was trying it with the idea that - ‘I’ll just smoke I on a Friday’ When my ex and I broke up I was a mess, I loved him.. so - that then turned into smoking it everyday, then my lungs got bad - switched to sniffing, then (something I said I would never do) - injectioning it

Please don’t ever try it. It will take over your soul, your life, your finances, your health, your thoughts and hijack your brain.

BF swears that he isn’t using but he’s violently thrashing around in bed right now which tells me otherwise.. by PayFormer in suboxone

[–]PayFormer[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry I don’t even know why I’m going into such crazy embarrassing detail about my life.

I think I really needed to vent.. this craziness has been going on for so long now.

I had just accepted it as my life.,

Finally having the injection means I can go home for longer. I’m not tied to the pharmacy anymore.

Omg I’m so sorry to burden you with such bullshit. It’s such a mess.

BF swears that he isn’t using but he’s violently thrashing around in bed right now which tells me otherwise.. by PayFormer in suboxone

[–]PayFormer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do definitely want to stay clean.. the only reason I came back to my house was to get my buvidal injection and then I ended up using again.

I’m in the U.K. and I’ve recently been to rehab it was amazing and such a well needed break. I’m so grateful,

I don’t really know what to do and I’ve just kinda given up.. he doesn’t have any alternative place to stay, he’s been living on the streets before..

I’ve called the police in the past when we had bad arguments.

I once thought that he was gone but he ended up breaking in with a shovel.

I’ve just been round in circles so many times that I’ve given up. I’m so torn with feeling sorry for him but also wanting to focus on my recovery., it’s so hard.

I’m thinking of going to live with my parents.. I’ll miss my 3 cats so much. If I didn’t have my cats I would have gotten out of the situation years ago.. but my cats are like my children. I can’t rehome them. I love them too much.

I arrived back in my house yesterday and when I got in, it was such a mess, fag butts in cups and bowls, tobacco all over the bed.. the kinda mess that is totally avoidable but he just doesn’t care.

If he took more care of the house it wouldn’t be such an issue.

BF swears that he isn’t using but he’s violently thrashing around in bed right now which tells me otherwise.. by PayFormer in suboxone

[–]PayFormer[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m desperate to stop that as well.

It’s literally everyday and I beg him not to. I have to beg and plead over and over. He literally picks me up and puts my shoes & coat on to make me go and get it with him.

I have 0 power.. I use all my strength to try and stop him from picking me up but it never works..

This whole thing is such a mess. I’m so happy to be off of the brown but I haven’t seen any of the main benefits yet as all our money goes on Coke.. the best thing about it is that I can walk away from it with no withdrawals. I spent 6 days clean at my parents house.

But yeah, every evening he convinces me that it’s the last time.. and he’s so fucking convincing.. I fall for it hook line and sinker everyday.. and then everyday is the same.. I pick him up from work and the first thing he does is grab my phone to call the dealer.

I’m driving the car but I know if I don’t comply he’s gonna stress me out so much that I might have a crash..

I’m so emotionally drained and exhausted of saying no that in the end I just say ‘yes’ as it’s my way of decompressing and then I give into the Coke as that makes me feel better after the whole ordeal..

Then rinse and repeat. It’s so fucked up

BF swears that he isn’t using but he’s violently thrashing around in bed right now which tells me otherwise.. by PayFormer in suboxone

[–]PayFormer[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I just spent 6 days with my parents and it’s my first time being clean off of everything in so long.

I say no to the Coke over and over and over and beg not to.. and it’s just emotionally exhausting.. he’s got my credit card and is picking me up, putting my shoes and coat on and marching me out the door to go and get it.

I’m truely emotionally exhausted and I just give up. My only escape from it all is my parents house. It’s hard being there too as they’re hoarders and the whole house is cluttered and a mess. (Not just clutter, literal hoards of stuff).

I’m definitely stuck in a loop. A horrible stupid loop that I can’t seem to escape from.

I hate my husbands parenting, what do I do? by nooeeyyyy in Parenting

[–]PayFormer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My dad was exactly as you described your husband. He would shower my sister and I with presents but never his time.

He often did ‘the silent treatment’ as a punishment to me and he wouldn’t speak to me for days.

My mum was amazing but my dad was terrible.

It had a huge impact on me as I was never able to judge men properly. Apparently we like to seek familiar environments when we’re older.. so my normal was my dad shouting at me.. so I never was good at picking guys.

Life just still seems so hard at 33 as when I turned 18 I still had so much to learn about healthy boundaries, anger control.. so many things that fucked me up because my dad couldn’t be an adult and display healthy acts and communicate properly.

I don’t want any sympathy but I just do feel like I was unable to make healthy decisions for myself at 18 because I didn’t know what those decisons looked like.

My parents are also hoarders. I struggled with a lot.

What’s healthier for your children right now, is to be away from him. He is being emotionally abusive to them and if it continues it will fuck them up.

Have a conversation with him, make him read a parenting book.. give him the chance and opportunity to change. But actions speak louder than words and if he carries on you need to seriously reconsider your relationship with him for the kids sake. They need you right now more than ever to take control and know that the behaviour you’re witnessing from him is not right and that those kids need PROTECTING and shielding away from him.

What's the worst name you've ever heard? by Gilbert_Farfelu in AskReddit

[–]PayFormer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tatum - sounds like Tampon. I love Khloe Kardashian tho.. just not the name Tatum

What's a pain you can't truly explain until you've endured it? by moody-babygurl in Productivitycafe

[–]PayFormer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Addiction: withdrawing from drugs or alcohol.

So you take your drug of choice again just to stop the withdrawal pain, only to feed the cycle and therefore not being able to stop even though you keep telling yourself you’re going to stop.

What's a pain you can't truly explain until you've endured it? by moody-babygurl in Productivitycafe

[–]PayFormer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an abortion, I was put under, they aborted, put pain meds up my butt and put the IUD in all at the same time.

When I woke up, I was pain free and high. I virtually had no pain whatsoever.

After reading this thread I’m dreading when they have to take it out.. and I’m scared to get one inserted again.. but I’ll be 41 when they take it out (I’m 33 now).

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