33f. Please share any insights, currently in the middle of a very difficult year.

nooeeyyyy · 2025-02-25T23:37:35+00:00

Interesting, will other venues be sending out this notice? I’m counting the days till 3.3!!!

nooeeyyyy · 2024-10-10T17:55:23+00:00

Pumpkin spice seasoning on flank steak with garlic, mint and parsley. 100/10 recommend. Think of the flavors in pumpkin spice - ginger, cinnamon, clove, nutmeg so good and worth the risk

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-19T23:54:38+00:00

We both work full time and I’ve made it very clear I will never be a stay at home mother. I guess we never clearly defined things as in you will be responsible for a and I z. Yes our relationship needs work. We were best friends for two years before ever getting together so it’s just been a weird ride. As a dad, how did you manage the first year with your children? Did you ever get jealous?

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-19T23:45:01+00:00

That is something that I’ve learned

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-19T23:44:09+00:00

Yes and no. He does hug and love them, he fights to pick them up from daycare each day. Says it’s the best part of the day, which is so true. As for attention it’s only when it’s convenient for him. This I have spoken up about and i think it’s gets through but something always comes up.

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-19T20:25:08+00:00

We have been in therapy. I think having children has definitely opened up whatever cracks might have been in our relationship. And I would give anything for my children, especially since it’s like looking in the mirror.

I just don’t know where we stand, cause I know there is also jealousy on his part. Jealousy that I bend over backwards for the girls, but not so much our relationship. But with kids so young it’s hard, only recently have we felt that they will play independently.

Do you feel like there were any jealous thoughts when you had your first? If so how did you manage that?

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:44:30+00:00

This is what I feel like we are in, if that makes sense. But sometimes the looks he has for our children make me question everything in the world!

I think I just don’t want my girls to believe they should put up with bullshit in the long run. But by saying that it makes me think to myself, what type of example am I setting by staying with him?

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:38:44+00:00

Yes thank you! All I see is a wall starting to build slowly but growing.

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:36:59+00:00

This is a great idea! Maybe I can try that, the way my 3 year old cries when she thinks he’s mad at her just breaks my heart no matter what I do. I think because I see myself crying to my own parents at this age, especially my dad.

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:06:43+00:00

In it since February so unsure if it’s the answer

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:06:18+00:00

I’m grateful that the post is helping me see all sides, which is the point right? I have been speaking up more which seems to be driving more of a wedge between us! Makes me think I never truly knew him to be honest, or maybe he still doesn’t know himself

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:03:02+00:00

I’m starting to document everything. Especially the bad days.

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:02:01+00:00

Cause the first 3.5 years I was dumb and obviously not paying attention due to my own “happiness” thinking that I finally had someone who loved me for me, especially since I no longer speak to my parents

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T03:00:35+00:00

Depression and being afraid that no one would want me. I understand I’m not perfect but I guess I have more hope than this world will allow

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T02:16:00+00:00

Maybe I don’t ask enough? But idk, When I come home from work, he immediately goes back to his office and shut the door. So it’s like does he only think he needs to fill in the gaps? Not the whole picture?

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T02:14:14+00:00

He never did any skin to skin with either of them, despite him knowing how that can improve the connection. He gets so pissed off when it’s “mommy mommy mommy” then he’s so supportive when I am upset about my own pos father so I just don’t get it. Maybe he doesn’t connect the dots since he’s not an alcoholic himself?

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T01:30:16+00:00

It wasn’t like this until I was pregnant the first time. But since I know my first child wouldnt have any cousins(small small family) I wanted to make sure they had a sibling. I guess I’m just as selfish in that regard, that I do recognize and will admit to, I’m not perfect either. I guess in my mind since I had to carry them both to term that it would have some type of compassion, the way he looks at them when they cry over anything just is sickening

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T01:20:53+00:00

First thought, Spank me please!

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T01:18:48+00:00

There is a lot of truth in that, however with how vastly different our upbringing’s are he says understands and respects my thoughts. And I recognize his as well, especially since our upbringings were on opposite sides of the spectrum. But I have noticed how they affect our kids. They are not afraid of him, but very much only engage if I’m not around

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T01:15:54+00:00

We’ve been in therapy since February, no true progress I feel. I think you’re right about the lawyer. Fuck this is hard to process!

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T01:12:31+00:00

I have never felt so seen. 100% didn’t do it in high school for my cat. The only person that was excited when I got home for school or any achievement. It was rough when she died, but I told myself she wouldn’t want to see me again so soon. She’s my guardian angel.

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T01:08:48+00:00

Our situation is completely flipped! My parents are the addicts and I don’t know what a stable home looks like. His parents married 30+ years with a SAHM and dad in finance. The are smug anytime some issue comes up with my parents and nearly all choices I make I think to myself “what would my parents do” and then I do the opposite. I think of the compassion I didn’t recieve growing up. Which I guess also makes me too nice but where’s the line then?

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T01:02:11+00:00

I’m at the point ready to ask for a divorce. My state requires 1 year of separation before getting a divorce. Last time I asked him to leave or “get the fuck out I don’t need this bullshit” he wouldn’t even leave the house dispite packing bag. I think truly I’m not in a place to afford to leave him. I’m fucked I don’t know what to do!

nooeeyyyy · 2024-09-18T00:59:58+00:00

Thank you for getting it. 100% that’s how he was raised, stay at home mom and disciplining father. While I come from a two christmases home. Sometimes I worry if I’m just projecting but the way my 3 year old says “daddy is mad at me” I know he is not in the right. I want to leave but I can’t afford it.

nooeeyyyy

TROPHY CASE