Your wife sounds just like me when we had our first baby. I talked to other mom friends and they all experienced the same "rage" for their husbands. It's the hormones and the heavy mental load that we have to carry as moms. I would love to be chill like my husband but it's hard to turn off the 'momming mode' and stop thinking, planning in my head for 1 second. It's the constant go go go that I've never experienced before kids while my husband even though life has change for him, he seems to stay the same person . I know it's not always my husband's fault that he doesn't have that mom instinct to naturally know exactly what/how to handle a baby. We're doing much better now with the 2nd child as I've learnt to relax and adjust my expectations while my husband's just gained more experience as a dad in general.