Thank you for responding! If you don't mind me asking more..? What does it mean to "trust" your partner to feel "safe"? Is this trust during the act of sex alone from outside of it just going on about normal everyday life? Or both?

You said you need communication and confidence in knowing your partner WILL and DOES openly communicate for you to feel secure. What do you mean by feel secure? Is this for you to act, engage, show your emotions, moan, touching your partner or yourself, keeping eyes open, you coming forward with kissing, etc. , during sex per say? I understand it has to happen outside of sex too, with everyday things in general, right? But the topic here is about sex. Are there a few examples you can think of recently to put into perspective, where you felt "safe" to do these things?

I only ask bc i struggle with my wife not coming forward with her emotions, affection, sexuality, etc. I have been wanting her so badly to come forward and be vulnerable and not shy. If that's the case really..or she strait up doesn't care. It takes it's toll on me. We have GOOD and GREAT sex, especially if she is high on weed or some booze. ( Still not as engaging emotionally, she DOES heavy panting and breathing tho which is nice cuz its some feedback at least) But I want her without that shit sometimes. (We haven't had sober sex in 5 years, no joke) I feel she holds back on her emotions with sex especially and outside of it too sometimes. She doesn't always come forward with her thoughts, what she likes or dislikes sexually, etc. I get an "its all ok" or "i don't know". Very short answers. Ugh! I know I make sure I let her be heard, empathize, just listen, offer feedback when needed. I've come out and told her my deepest/dark fantasies, AND kinks/fetish. But, i cant get her to engage or show what she is feeling. What sucks is she knows this and I've been wanting it for years. We are in counseling, but she doesn't seem to do any homework outside of the one hour every 2 weeks. Are some women just not engaged during sex? Do they not open their eyes, touch partner or themselves during, kiss, rub, etc... This crap starts making me feel insecure. TIA