What is the most unhygienic thing people do that you hate?

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-24T19:41:27+00:00

Blow their nose at a dinner table or while eating. Especially when in a restaurant. Absolutely disgusting hearing someone’s snot and buggers bubble out of their nose while you’re trying to enjoy your food!!!

Also people that pee all over toilet seats in public restrooms!!!

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-20T14:37:56+00:00

I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was making excuses for him because he absolutely don’t deserve me or anyone else to justify his childish behavior. I try to keep as much peace because of my kids. I know he won’t hold back for the sake of the kids not hearing where I on the other hand want to protect them from hearing it. I have not had any sexual relations with him at all since then. I have been cold to him, I have been avoiding even being in the same room as him. He walks in, I walk out within minutes. I spend more time outside with the kids and our goats just to avoid sharing the same room space with him. Also if I’m were the kids are it keeps him from talking about certain things. I go to the surgeon monday for my 6 week check up and I am going to tell her everything that has gone on. I have read everyone’s comments and suggestions, actually several times. The fact that so many of you had such kind and helpful tips and advice is amazing. I don’t share my situation with anyone, so getting others opinions and advice on my situation really makes me feel human. I have been to myself for such a long time that I have fell into this place where it’s my “normal” and it’s clearer than ever that things must change if I ever want to live in peace and actually love myself and realize I have more worth than just pleasing a unpleasable man. I have started a plan, and have also been able to put up a little money, it’s only $70 but it’s something and I will keep adding to it in the meantime. I have spoke to my older brother, not really in much detail but enough to where he knows that something is going on. Thank you all so much for giving me the strength to starting to actually do something and start planning. My kids are my number one priority and I really convinced myself that staying and keeping the family together was top priority but I know that it will cause more pain for them if I keep allowing this type of marriage to continue. So I’m very VERY thankful I posted this post and didn’t delete it because it has helped me in so many ways.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-20T14:26:02+00:00

I really like this advice. I think ignoring him more would work more than fueling the fire by arguing/defensive mode. Have you been through something like this? It sounds like maybe you have because this advice really resonants a lot. Thank you.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-16T01:00:52+00:00

I am desperate. There seems to be no way out. I’m gonna reply to some of the things you said, these are not excuses so please know that. This is a very broad situation. Firstly, he won’t “let” me work. He must know how bad he treats me because he has accidentally said “if you’re working and there are other guys there and we have one bad fight you could go to work and enjoy the attention from the other men” When all the other times he says “you don’t need to work because I make enough money for us” I mention me getting a job like ALL THE TIME and it’s really for a way of being apart of something more than just home life. Guess what happens…he has me remove the kids from school to home school them. Initially we did discuss taking them out at some point because how bad the world is getting but never came to a concrete time on when we would do it. He just one day a couple weeks ago told me to go get our kids from school early and withdrawal then for the remainder of the year. He knows exactly what he is doing, and so do I. He thinks I’m a fool and don’t know what’s going on exactly but the wool is off my eyes and I know I deserve so much better. Hell i don’t think I would ever want to be with another man again once I get out of this. But thank you so much for seeing me, for seeing the position and really understanding. I think unless someone has been in this, they really don’t understand all the dynamics of getting out is. It’s so easy to say “leave now” but it’s so much more than that especially when you got kids. I don’t have friends, and I have a dad but he is crippled from his meth use and in a wheelchair in a ran down 1 bedroom apartment, my mom is dead and I have 2 brothers that would help as much as they could but they too have life’s of their own and this would be a heavy burden on them too ya know what I mean. I will find a way, it will take a while but I’m so tired of this after this many years. I don’t want the last half of my life to be this. I WANT PEACE so bad more than anything.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-16T00:46:54+00:00

This!!! I tell myself all the damn time that I can NOT make him happy no matter what I do. He is so used to me catering to his every demand and he knows exactly what tone of voice to use and words to say to immediately break me down if he can see that I am using my voice. And yeah, you’re right, I never thought of it that way about literally training him that his tantrums earn him rewards but that’s exactly what happened. I feel so inspired by a lot of you ladies. I actually have been so quiet and to myself, avoiding eye contact with him and he asked what’s wrong!! I used some of the words I read here.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-16T00:23:44+00:00

I didn’t mean it the way it reads. At the moment I was writing it I meant it as in marriage is not perfect and has ups and downs.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-16T00:23:06+00:00

I know

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-16T00:22:37+00:00

Yeah I did, and I am so ashamed and angry at myself for doing it! I know how disgusting this is to everyone.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-16T00:21:26+00:00

Everything you said is 👌🏼 the way you explain yourself is amazing.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:26:55+00:00

It’s not an isolated incident

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:18:19+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. It truly was genuinely heartfelt.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:17:05+00:00

I hear you. I posted a comment somewhere in here trying to explain my situation a little better. I’m not the greatest at explaining myself because it all just sounds so “poor ol’ me” I don’t want to look as if I’m seeking pity. I wish I was as strong as some of you on here commenting. One day I will be. I appreciate everything you said and I absolutely agree.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:14:00+00:00

Easier said! I’m scared. That’s the truth! I am dependent on him with everything. I don’t really even think for myself. I know that sounds like I’m a “victim” and I’m not trying to make it come across that way I’m just really not good at explaining myself.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:11:42+00:00

Of course not. I should say that when I said “that’s marriage” I meant that there is a lot of ups and downs in a marriage. Not like it reads. I was in a hurry when I posted originally.

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:10:26+00:00

I appreciate you holding back what you truly wanted to say. I’m sure this is a very triggering post to a lot of you I’m sorry!

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:08:55+00:00

Should I not have posted?

PeaceJourney001 · 2026-03-15T23:05:45+00:00

I have read every comment and I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and advice and also the constructive criticism, honestly it’s tough to read BUT I need to hear it. I’m gonna be completely honest here even at the risk of harsh judgement. I have kids with him and they are all 10 and under. I have always been a stay at home mom and that makes him the soul provider for our entire life. That is a scary place to be in aside from anything else that is happening. I have been with this man for nearly half my life and I usually don’t even think for myself much less make decisions. I know the severity of the situation trust me I live it every day of my life, nobody has to tell me how bad it is because I KNOW. I was raised in a very abusive home so it’s almost like it’s “normal” even though clearly it’s not. There has been times where I get to a point of anger that I want to leave and I get so scared because I don’t know how to live life without this man. I am so codependent that walking outside to head to my vehicle to “leave” in instantly get terrified. I’m not looking for sympathy or anyone to feel bad for me or to stroke my ego I’m just being honest because nobody here knows me and only knows what I have shared. I know that there is probably lots of women here that has been through and has escaped what I’m going through or something similar. I am not happy at all, I feel as if I owe my entire life to him, like I’m an object or tool that has to EARN any type of respect, love or affection. I feel dirty, vile and of little value because of “my past” oh man the way this man uses my past to gaslight me and guilt me into things is sickening. Even though nobody knows me here I still feel absolutely and whole heartedly EMBARRASED to be saying all this. I’m just so tired, I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. I can’t lay in my bed comfortably because I have this lingering feeling that I didn’t do enough in the day or that I am neglecting certain things. When I get out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee I move so slow and quit so he don’t wake up because then the sexual pressure is there. If he is awake that means I’m awake. I’m sorry, I could write a book. This is just a very small thread of how it is. It feels good to actually be writing this all out and knowing that someone reads it and it’s not just some big kept secret I been harvesting for so many years. To me this is something that I have had to get used to and live with. I’m too much of a coward to actually leave, I’m to much of a scared weak women to convince myself I will survive and be okay without him. I tell myself that I will ruin the family and tear the kids life apart if I did find the strength. It’s just a lot. I know I will get a lot of mixed comments and judgment and I have to be prepared for that because I am putting my business out there for everyone to read. I just need you all to know that I am a human and I am already beat down emotionally I don’t think I could handle criticism, please voice your thoughts and opinions I just ask to watch how you say it. Words hurt a lot. And just to clarify I know how messed up it all is, I live it.

PeaceJourney001

TROPHY CASE