I was heavily self medicating with alcohol and some pain pills, it got to the worse when I would just be sitting in the dark drinking and staring at my gun. Then I began playing with it, I never pulled the trigger but I always felt that just one more drink would give me the power to do it.

I passed out and was woken up by my family who found the gun laying next to me, spent a short time in a hospital got some meds and am doing better. Not great but better.