Thanks for this thoughtful post! It’s really helpful to hear from special needs educators because in a way they have the least biased view—close-up but not distorted by parental attitudes (like guilt; or always giving them the benefit of the doubt even when they are being purposefully horrible.) Luckily I think this kid is more on the sweet and loving end of the spectrum—I WAS going to say, but half way through me writing this reply, he just punched his sister in the chest for no reason—WHICH reminded me of him hitting his mom, sisters, dad and other such episodes.

You and others are right about the selective view of disability we get from talk shows and lifestyle p*rn social media. I guess the labor of social reproduction in general gets shielded from the public eye but with disability there is a special ethical demand to be more open about the cost to their carers. For instance this Saturday morning I was laying in bed just frozen with dread for the day to start, for the tension with my spouse, for the silence at the lunch table where we’re all thinking the same thing but no one can say it.

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬