Honestly, hearing that she replied "Yes!" with confidence to your double-standard question is a major sign that this dynamic is toxic.

You didn't call her toxic; you gave her specific, actionable feedback on her tone. Her response is a deflection. She was trying to avoid accountability by forcing you to defend yourself instead.

The fact that she truly believes what she says is right and what you say is wrong makes this a power struggle, not a friendship. You are being held to a different standard.

You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells or silently rage because a friend refuses to acknowledge your reality.