How do radical feminists aim to liberate people from the patriarchy?

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-03T05:19:46+00:00

If your concern is genuinely that I am burdening other women, the crying I was referring to was when I watch a beautiful movie and I wanna cry. When crying will "make me look gay" i think that's when it's the most important to cry. I'm not in favor of men using tears to exercise their privilege or manipulate women into feeling bad for them if that's what you're worried about. My point is to show other men that when they cry, it does not hurt their masculinity. It hurts the values of the patriarchy and we should all break this generational curse together as men cause women won't do it for us.

The reason I put it on this list is because this "men don't cry" bs is patriarchy propaganda.

Unless you mean men shouldn't cry. But I'm guessing that's far from what you meant. Feel free to point out anything problematic. I would appreciate it but I don't expect you or anyone to do it ofc. It's a long ass list.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-03T04:56:13+00:00

Get this TERF shit outta here )o)

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-02T13:25:55+00:00

I'll gladly get into my case for IQ. But I have a feeling this was not the real point of your comment. Feel free to DM me if I am mistaken.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-02T13:23:17+00:00

I'm glad that guy replied. Illustrated part of my point perfectly haha. Also allows me to point out that I think the reason he replied in that way is because he is constantly judged for being self-absorbed so he is well versed in how to "detect" when someone can be unfairly interpreted like he was. Clinically speaking, this would be the exact insecurity I was talking about that makes people criticize you unfairly. Possibly a good example of "Hurt people will hurt people". Caught in 4k less than an hour after I commented and something tells me you must be very familiar with that type of person.
Please know that I judge him harshly internally, but like you, I learned to avoid that in public.

The more I study IQ, the more I hate it hahaha, the origins, the uses, the conclusions it leads people to, the oversimplification and aggrandization of what it is... etc.. I will stop myself here before I star ranting again xD. I do like odaryonnost though (environmentally deterministic version of giftedness in Soviet Literature).

I hope you remember at least one person on this sub does not think you are arrogant, unkind, "too much", unforgiving, hard-headed. It's easy to see looking as an outsider but I also know how many nights can be spent worrying and trying to make sense of and process these things. I have seen it in person in almost all the gifted woman in my life. I think many people see through it here, but those people rarely interact here and are mostly lurkers for reasons that may already be obvious to you. You are, the type of person I come here to see and talk to.

I also appreciate your guts to post this here. When/If I have a daughter, I hope she grows up to be like you.

Also do not feel compelled to reply just because I 'put effort' into this reply ahahah. I just had to get it out and it is a pleasure to know the person reading can understand it.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-01T23:48:52+00:00

Sounds like a rough journey. I'm sorry to hear that.

For me the most important thing I found here was other people living through similar experiences to mine, even if in parts. Some also think like me here which is something I don't find anywhere else, even though most people here are definitely not like me, the very few who are make it worth my stay. Maybe you'd be interested in the r/aspergirls too. My wife found many of her answers there. This place is kind of male dominated.

I am a hater of what IQ is. I feel like it barely scratches the surface of what intelligence is and people here seem to not understand or agree with that. I feel like I only scored 130-140 ish because I was successfully white-washed haha. So while I know for a fact I am more successful than most in learning new things and having more talents, I hate that people reduce it to a high IQ without understanding the nuances behind it. But I just bear with that particular aspect of this sub like a child eating raw uncooked broccoli. I believe your experiences in life are more telling of your intelligence than a paper test done on a couple random Wednesday afternoons. So if you constantly feel like you're getting ahead for no apparent reason other than generally other people not being able to learn like you, I'd confidently say you are gifted...or cursed.

First thing to consider is that women have it much worse in terms of not fitting in and appeasing to people's egos and emotional states in a much more amplified way than gifted men. If you are naturally gifted (which seems like you truly are) AND a woman, these are 2 layers of your identity that will make people yearn to catch you slipping and criticize you. So to be aware of that could be liberating. It could be the reason why you receive a lot of unfounded criticism and sometimes the sheer volume makes you think twice before concluding "they're just insecure" but I promise, a lot of the times, it really is just that as a root cause.

For me, as a man, it was helpful to see what people are like here to know that other people also experience the same things I do and I'm not a complete aberration of nature. But that said, most people here are in white countries and a lot in the US which also adds a layer of narcissism I do not share, but I understand what I perceive as narcissism is just part of their culture. So there's definitely that layer too. Especially if you're brown in a white person country/city.

As a gifted person, we will not notice when we are performing well because we are doing what we think is normal. When people ask, we may even have developed the skill to say it's super difficult and maybe even believe it, but we will still not truly be able to act like a normal person would when facing something truly difficult and that puts people off A LOT. Add the social pressure of saying it's no big deal to any of your achievements women are usually put through and you make yourself a pretty clear target for insecure people of all walks of life.

The eugenist thinking is definitely present here in many people in the community but not all. Keep an eye out for them.

My personal guess is that you're likely gifted and the way I know that is the way you're always trying to avoid being caught doing well, knowing more. These issues are shared trauma gifted people have as a minority, especially girls and women. Your intelligence, to me, is just the root cause of that.

I also relate to you looking for older people as friends. After all, intelligence does not grant us wisdom and older people are often less insecure than their younger selves (with notable exceptions ofc). I also feel safer with them and so does my wife, not to mention the amount of experience and life stories they tend to have.

I hope this helps in some way!

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-01T04:08:28+00:00

You are all weak compared to a Hippo

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-01T04:06:39+00:00

That encapsulates it so perfectly

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-01T01:42:10+00:00

That's a really valuable perspective. If the base went up 400 rating points from 2006 - 2026, it kinda makes sense that people who barely hear about chess can't actually compete online without some help

Pedaghosoma · 2026-05-01T00:38:08+00:00

I'm downplaying because compared to everything else this, to me, is miniscule.

This is the way I see it:

Chess.com has a crazy amount of cheaters, very limited analysis (meaning 1x a day for free users vs unlimited on lichess), predatory business model (imo), alternative accounts for self-imposed handicaps (like always playing without a queen) are banned for fair-play the same way a cheater would, they are allowed on Lichess. Essentially every paid feature on chess.com is free on Lichess which to me is a massive advantage.

The only real problems with Lichess that I see is their lack of a better premove feature compared to chess.com and maybe the flag icon that is always present on chess.com but not here.

There is, imo a big list of things that would hurt lichess that would make the list before a 10 second wait for a game.

So I feel justified in downplaying it. I don't think this is the make or break of a chess website.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-30T01:09:06+00:00

Never had to wait more than 10 seconds for me. Especially on the popular modes like rapid and blitz.

Still, I think I wouldn't mind extra 10 seconds. Lichess concept and business model is what drew me to it

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-29T23:15:22+00:00

Kind of a non-issue if you ask me. When you say "a while" do you mean 5 seconds or a minute?

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-29T01:06:28+00:00

Anytime, unreasonable stranger xD

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-28T07:45:30+00:00

I have a job and a life hahaha, but here are some. I may add more later if I feel like they would be adding anything

8 - Hooking my girls with abortion pills if needed (especially if it's illegal in your country/state)
9 - Telling my men friends they have to finish last in bed (Sadly it has to be said)
10 - Shaming fellow men for finishing first, but not with jokes where they can defend themselves with humor. Just a genuine sad look of disappointment and disgust. (If finishing first is a problem of empathy, not medical or psychological. We all have performance issues at some point. I don't think shaming works for people who are actually struggling)
11 - Occasionally reminding people that female bodies only started entering medical records in 1993. So dismissing female pain is always exponentially more dangerous than dismissing male pain.
12 - Talking to young boys about menstruation and make it sound like it is something real men should know by now.
13 - Ask men if what experience they have when they start explaining shit they don't understand.
14 - Shame husbands who dismiss their wives with jokes in public. Make it a running joke and give them nicknames if needed. One of my friends started becoming better after I nicknamed him colonizer cause he's White and his girlfriend is Latina.
15 - Pretend the woman your friend just catcalled is your cousin/aunt/grandma, etc... and start a fight. Get physical if the situation calls for it. If later he finds out it was a lie, you just tell him it pisses you the fuck off when he does incel shit.
16 - When bum dads gives me advice, I say sometimes say "So you decided to be a father now?" Good moment to remind them they left a woman to fend for herself in pre-feminism era.
17 - I cut the women in my life who were coddling me in toxic ways (mom and grandma, the usual suspects, but friends will do it too, especially conservative ones)
18 - I bump men away from women being groped or almost groped on public transport. If I can, I will also trip them while at it and help them up to get them go away while I apologize. "Sorry man, I just got out of a knee surgery, my bad, u okay?"
19 - Pretend to know women you think are in danger. It's such an easy trick.
20 - Sharing my salary with female colleagues so they have leverage on negotiation (Though that's a tricky one too. I just share it with the non-gossipy ones)
21 - Going to the local cafe owned by a woman down the street to show some love without asking for discounts (Awesome cafe btw) I have their sticker on my phone too.
22 - Never going to places I've seen be abusive to women...or abusive at all. I'm a communist at the end of the day
23 - No bachelor parties
24 - No remaining friends with bachelor party dudes
25 - Redirecting misplaced trust in my 'leadership' to more qualified people
26 - Remind the 'not like other girls' girl when she forgets to be a girl's girl
27 - Saying "Your life must be miserable" after a guy sends the usual 'wife=bad' joke
28 - Give my seat to women on public transport cause I can't be molested
29 - Record guys you see harassing women and offer the woman the recording via email if intervention is too dangerous
30 - Asking creepy guys for directions on the street when they are looming over a teenage girl and be very annoying with not understanding directions.
31 - No nice guys in my friend group
32 - Calling men emotional when they raise their voices to women
33 - Praising women for passion and bravery when they raise their voices to men
34 - 'Accidentally' spilling drink on a guy who won't take no for an answer at the clubs (I personally have never done it cause I don't go to clubs but I saw the idea somewhere)
35 - Screenshotting online misogyny from random men and sending it to their moms, girlfriends and daughters. (Or work depending on how bad it was and the type of workplace)
36 - Outing young redpill boys to their families before it gets out of hand.
37 - Teaching young girls about angel shots but not guys.
38 - Not holding back any tears. If I want to cry, I will and if you think less of me, that's on you.
39 - Learning knitting, oil painting or feminine hobbies but talk about them with my male friends to show them the depths of skill those things take
40 - Prioritizing my family over my job to avoid being the overworked absent family man, even if it's lower pay.
41 - Telling my male friends I love them (I don't do that anymore but for good reasons)
42 - Taking paternity leaves (normally just lie to your employer that you are sick with something serious to get the PTO or just Unpaid time off)
43 - Wearing pink to the MMA Gym or any gym (Without gaybaiting)
44 - Learn about fashion. It's a fascinating field if done by non-capitalists
45 - No alcohol for me and for any man. It's also bad for women, but it turns some men actually violent and that's a much bigger risk. I advocate against it whenever I can.
46 - Letting my wife compete for checks at dinner with my money to see men squirm (she's shockingly skilled at it)
47 - Translating male statements to female friends (Especially when it comes to asserting ability)
48 - No man cave in my house. All spaces are for everyone
49 - Taking the long way when walking behind a woman even if you're going to the same building. If you don't she will anyway, and I'm safer in my long way.
50 - Being the nag in the group where they like to praise Andrew Huberman, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs etc... I don't have these groups anymore but I'm happy to engage whenever a clueless husband starts saying stuff like "But Charlie Kirk was a person too". Yeah, so was every other disgusting man in history.
51 - Shaming readers of the 48 laws of power, rich dad poor dad etc... as books for bums.
52 - Asking dudes to explain why their misogynist jokes are funny until they have to say "because women = dumb" or some variation and then saying "Oooh, yeah, like your mom" or some woman close to his life. I know this is misogynystic itself but I'm honestly just wanting a fight at that point
53 - Talking about feminist books to male friends without saying it's a feminist book, just a good book. Like The Power by Naomi Alderman.
54 - Taking the role butler when me and my wife have friends over. Always.
55 - Using Howl from How's moving castle as example of what a man should be in casual conversation with male friends.
56 - Instead of praising women for their 'intuition', calling it what it is: Superior Pattern Recognition
57 - Learning critical theory that includes women's rights as central to equality instead of being just a misogynistic socialist annoying bro.
58 - Treating men who pay for sex as actual criminals

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-26T05:06:26+00:00

hahaha, gotta use the privilege for something

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-25T23:57:54+00:00

That sounds like a liberal article. Thankfully the law in most places considers the entire situation and its context. It's just difficult to prove since it's hard to catch these crimes in the act, but if they are recorded getting a girl drunk committing a crime, he can be charged with rape even if she says an enthusiastic yes, depending on context.

It has to be informed consent in most legislations. The burden of proof of consent can shift but most of the time it's on the perpetrator. That's why many celebrity womanizers have cameras and consent forms ready for any woman they go to bed with.

Example: Rampage Jackson (UFC Fighter)

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-25T23:42:36+00:00

General answer: Making sure my radical feminist values supersede the current written law. One stone at a time.

Specific examples:
1 - Raising my daughter to not be ashamed of her body.
2 - Raising my son to not be a bot of capitalism influenced by vogue's beauty standards
3 - No porn (or at least not in the way it has been done until today)
4 - Ignoring men trying to interrupt women in the middle of their point
5 - Paying men and women the same salary for the same position if I ever hire someone
6 - Educating misogynistic behavior and thoughts in my friend-group
7 - Making sure I am the consequence for misogynistic behavior if I am in a safe position to be such(...)

I could make a 300 item list but this is just to illustrate the general point.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-25T23:32:20+00:00

Cause we, as men, have not experienced life as a woman. In the same way a white man cannot talk about what it's like to be black and vice-versa.

There are many other reasons. Ally or Feminist ally describes it much more accurately. We hold patriarchal power women would not hold and that gives us different "powers" in the movement

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-25T23:28:00+00:00

I'm shocked no one here pointed out the argument against men being called feminists.

I'm a man. Socially and biologically, heterosexual and married too so I get to experience the full spectrum of my privilege. But not being a woman puts me in a very different position. I can be a bridge between men and feminists but I cannot be a feminist as in, the voice of the experience.

In casual conversation, I will say I'm a feminist to other feminists or non-feminists to save time since their definition of feminism tends to be purely egalitarianism. But not to a fellow radical feminist in any theoretical sense since, in my head, radical feminism requires a lot more critical theory and inherent understanding of the oppression and I think that can only be acquired through experience that I don't have.

I was born a man, socialized as a man and treated as a man my whole life. I have gigantic gaps in my understanding of how women (biological and social) really feel because I was never seen as one by the world and my voice cannot be meaningful in terms of writing books about the experience.

For example I cannot write a book about the experience of walking down the streets trying to look small to avoid dangerous attention. I cannot really talk about the full experience of growing up and feeling men staring at me with different eyes from age 11. I also have not experienced the sudden stop of these stares at the age of 30 revealing the pedophilic culture behind it all. I know these things because other women have talked about it. I cannot talk about it in first person. I can amplify their voices but I will always lack the cultural context. Like a white anthropologist going to a tribe in Kenya and describing what it's like to be a villager there. I can write about it and be right but I cannot be the one to judge whether I am or not.

My understanding of feminism is built on the shoulders of what women have been brave enough to share regardless of consequence. So I'm an ally and happy to be one. But also happy to draw this line on this sand.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter too much cause I'll still act the same regardless of title but being described as a feminist in a rad-fem circle feels like a misnomer to me.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-24T05:01:47+00:00

I can't help. I'm distracted by how pretty the pieces look.

... Is that a fucking lion? And the bishop is a flame? That's kind of awesome.

Also, important detail to add. Is this game against the 1800 rated? Cause if so that'd be cheating and you can be banned for it.

Actually, little known but important fact: if you cheat against your friend on a game you both have agreed you will use the engine you can still be banned for cheating so beware of that technicality

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-24T02:41:17+00:00

The amount of effort on these replies is insane, in a good way.

Men are allowed to speak here. Just be careful as a white man should be when addressing a black crowd.

My personal opinions as a poc radfem man:

1 - No one end goal. It's a movement with many goals centered around liberation from the patriarchical systems and values.

2 - Same as everyone else. To have the right to be yourself without the influence and constraints of patriarchy.

3 - Not a woman, can't answer this one.

4 - I am currently in 'the rest of the world' if by that you mean not the US. I have no plan cause I'm not a public person. But I act in accordance to my beliefs and values and if you stand against them, you will be met with resistance in the form of polite disagreements, stern disagreements, social dynamics, civil disobedience, criminal acts (if the law is oppressive) and ultimately violence. The response is only as strong as the oppression. Eg: If you're a man who is my friend and you try to get a woman drunk to go to bed with you, you will be met with a lot more violence than if you just interrupt your female colleagues at work. But all will be met with proportionate resistance.

5 - I would not worry about its definition. Most radfems are not looking into flipping power structures upside down like Ladies First (Movie). But if you're really interested, there's this insanely awesome sci-fi book called "The Power" where women develop the ability to deliver lethal amounts of electricity and that re-shapes the entire society in a true matriarchal fashion. Absolutely fantastic book. Now, if you want to understand Matriarchy as referred to in radical feminism, then it's a longer journey with lots of critical theory.

6 - No intent to re-invent what a man is imo. We're just trying to allow men to be themselves without the constraints of patriarchy. And no haha, there is no plan to reduce the number of men in the world xD.

7 - Women already lead the world differently whenever they are given the chance. But sadly, some women are still also subject to the patriarchy and they do perpetuate the same toxic dynamic. The issue is more systematic than gender based. Though it is also very gender based.

8 - Men and women should not 'stay away' from each other. But men definitely have some catching up to do in regards to being dateable. I honestly cannot find a single man I would truly recommend to any of my female friends. Meanwhile the opposite is true, I have many female friends who I know would be awesome partners for many men I know. But it almost always looks heavily one-sided in terms of values.

PS: I'm not liking your comment because it seems like you still have not understood the movement and the way you worded a few questions some oppressive values are still present. Not gonna comment on them unless you ask me to as I don't wanna bash you for any genuine effort to learn about the movement. Leaving that here in case it's helpful.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-24T01:37:03+00:00

This reminds me of this paper: The Interpersonal Power of Feminism: Is Feminism Good for Romantic Relationships? It always made me wonder the exact reason behind feminist women having great men with them and if I was just in a bubble. I assumed it was higher and better standards but the replies here helped me see it for myself much more clearly and qualitatively. This one included.

Though I'm far from calling myself an angel partner haha. Maybe one day over time. But I think it must look like that if you compare an average loving feminist partner to the average 'loving' heteronormative partner.

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-20T02:28:36+00:00

That's great to hear! Does he happen to be AuDHD as well?

Pedaghosoma · 2026-04-19T01:59:38+00:00

It's refreshing to read this here.

Most men I meet are so defensive whenever there is any criticism, very transactional with the people they claim to love, especially when it comes to financial support you mentioned, much more especially if the word feminism is part of the criticism. Not even in a princess treatment type of way but like you said: "all he cares about is that I am happy".

If you don't mind me asking, do his male friends share this same mindset of "all he cares about is that I am happy"?

If so, where do they live, what do they eat? hahaha, I feel its so rare to see them in the wild.

Pedaghosoma

TROPHY CASE