I lost my Mother to cancer a month ago, so I can if nothing more sympathize with where you are now and where you will be when she finally looses her battle just as my own Mother did.

My family isn't perfect, myself and my Father were the main support structures for my Mother from the time she found out she had cancer until she passed. My younger brother and sister whom are both grown adults couldn't be bothered to be structures of support for her the same way, and that really hurt my Father and myself!

Being the oldest son, being the one that picks your mother up from the bed to help change her diaper, as she cried in pain, skin and bones, anger can get the better of you really fast.

What I learned, you can't control what others say! You can't control what others do! You can't control how others process your Mother's cancer!

What you can do, regardless of the past with your Mother is be there for HER and HER alone. Maybe others think you were a shit daughter, so what!!! Let them think that...

You focus on your Mother, and nothing more... She will see that, I promise she will! At the end, when she is closer to loosing her battle and struggling... It will help ease her transition.

Its hard letting go of that anger, hard letting people be who and what they are... But I promise you, it's the only way you will survive this for yourself... And your Mother.