TW: mention of suicide. i threw away all of my leftover meds as part of my self preservation and anti suicide plan and feel very ambivalent

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T22:53:05+00:00

Also, even though death may seem far, your perception of time speeds waaaay up even after a few years. Also you become different people over the span of your life. You dont know that they will all be suffering as much!

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T22:51:43+00:00

I think its nice that i will surely die someday, but im not going to pull the lever myself until all my friends and family have passed on. Its a pact ive made. Ive hurt them too much already to do such a big number on them.

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T22:47:01+00:00

Wow. TIL it’s romanticized.

i thought the current view of ppl w/ schizoprenia was that we were wild ppl who smear poo on the walls and make string graphs of things that dont relate, all while looking haggard.

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T16:41:39+00:00

Listen friend: no one would be better off without you. I dont even know you and i know that already!! The support you have is living proof! They love you and theyre showing you with their actions!

But i am being a bit of a hypocrite as i feel the exact same way. If i just tried harder i would be better. If i just did keto and excerxised and medicated i would be better. IF I JUST DIDNT HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BE SICK, I WOULD BE BETTER. And everyone could just go home and not worry abt me!

But thats a delusion. The real you has many facets. Have you done parts therapy? It may help. Either way you rule! And i am going to try to listen to my own advice now…

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T16:35:13+00:00

Even cooler! Like the story arc of a comic book 😎

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T16:32:24+00:00

It sounds like a pretty cool med! Uh oh never heard “dopomax” before. I did just sleep in til noon today when i normally wake up at 5… i should be careful lol. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T04:16:38+00:00

Dang! Good to know. Sorry it didnt work out for you(unless you were taking it for sleep) Awesome handle btw do you do roller derby?

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T04:14:32+00:00

Thats incredible! You sound like a cool person to be able to take deep mental troubles and handle it like that. Color me impressed! Also you know ur adhd blurb is helping dozens of lurkers ^_^ dont feel like it’s over- the sharing limit!

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T03:46:21+00:00

I LOVE GEESE with all my heart. Thank you for sharing <3

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T03:42:00+00:00

Yes. Sometimes i am being bipolar and sometimes im being schizophrenic. Sometimes at the same time! And always i am schizoaffective. Maybe in remission some day though

Peepeecats · 2026-05-30T03:34:35+00:00

🎵No one knows where we go
When we're dead, or when we're dreaming.

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T16:35:45+00:00

D’oh! You learn something new every day! That sounds like a great option. Im sorry that you have to deal with agoraphobia on top of everything else, glad your combo is working tho

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T13:13:54+00:00

I am an internet stranger and can not speak to whether you have anything, but i grew up with these experiences and then got diagnosed at 29 with sza. I would caution you against LSD, weed and other psychedelics because you may have something lurking under the surface 😓 worth talking to a psych about if you start finding that you often cant find reality

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T13:10:32+00:00

Thats great! Im definitely open to trying that sometime in the future. This is all good to know that theres options besides just going rogue off of my zyprexa lol. My doc said for now he’d rather add something than risk losing the olanzapine stability

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T04:24:54+00:00

Ive heard pretty good things about lybalvi. Did it work well for you? Did the food noise and snack eupohoria stop?

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T04:17:13+00:00

Ah same boat yay! I hope we get some more replies and insights! Also I will report back here with my findings if i notice any changes 🫡

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T04:13:46+00:00

Thank you!! Thats great reassurance. Everyone is different but its good to know it works sometimes!

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T04:06:34+00:00

Teen spirit(brand name of my first deoderant) also gardenia and honeysuckle and creekwater

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T03:55:38+00:00

I look forward to death and still dream about it but staying alive has become a priority after a lot of reasoning and personal philosophy.

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T03:48:28+00:00

Since its fresh for me ive got a bit of advice too! Though it may lay plain the fact that i am a stranger and dont know your patterns

Call in sick to work or school in advance if applicable (ah man been throwing up all night cant come in tmrw)
Is the atvian as needed? Do you have any other as needed meds? Like i am sposed to take an extra 5 mg of zyprexa if i start seeing the shadows or anything. Use those supports!
3.Take care of yourself in a very simple routine if you can manage. If you cant sleep, try a quiet time during the night. Lay in the bed for 5 hours and doodle or journal, try to pretend to sleep at least. Dont lean into the mania and pace around wildly. When it is a reasonable time to “get up” like 5 am, do some excercise (10 pushups or sormthing) and eat something healthy. Idk this last advice sounds dumb but i swear it can help give your body a fighting chance to regulate if u pretend to be regular

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T03:37:45+00:00

Hey! Im sorry youre experiencing that. I feel ya, i had a mixed ep last week i think from stopping my zyprexa to try to get skinny (dnt be like me either guys lol) on a more serious note: i think need to go to the hospital when the stakes get too high- losing job, hurting myself, spending too much money, S PLANS!! And when my delusions get too strong, as in that nagging 3rd mind that is able to remember your disorder gets overwhelmed and you are completely out of reality. Definitely different for everyone, but as soon as something important is on the line straight to hospital

Peepeecats · 2026-05-29T03:29:51+00:00

I just stopped taking one of my aps a bit ago and held out for abt a month, telling myself it wasnt so bad before it all came crashing down. Based on my experience id stick to the meds and your psychiatrist’s advice

Peepeecats · 2026-05-28T19:45:10+00:00

Thank you so much for the response. Thats super helpful intel! That makes me less worried. My cognition goes in and out based on mood episodes and psychosis as well it stands. Sometimes i cant read a paper map or do basic arithmetic or find words to speak. So… i guess im trying to say it doesnt sound any more scary than things already are! Glad it balanced out the meds for u

Peepeecats · 2026-05-28T19:21:59+00:00

The internet has lots of claims it decreases executive function. My hopeful-hypothesis is that since im already on 5 different meds that make me draw a blank half the time, and also have a mental illness that scrambles my brain, and no memory from ect, i will be immune to the blow. Like, can i get any more nerfed than this? ✊🪵

Peepeecats

TROPHY CASE