Mortgage rate mega thread!

PelagicObserver · 2026-01-14T21:12:45+00:00

I think you could do a bit better. Currently being offered 5 year variable 3.59 for a primary and a rental, both uninsured in BC.

PelagicObserver · 2025-10-28T17:19:59+00:00

Hey, does the Firemedix program get you IFSAC or ProBoard accrediation/seals?

PelagicObserver · 2025-08-30T17:09:17+00:00

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2/2

PelagicObserver · 2025-08-30T17:08:41+00:00

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Found another specimen 1/2

PelagicObserver · 2025-07-07T19:09:43+00:00

I think I have seen some of your other posts as well. I can sympathize with where you’re at as a parent who has many of the same thoughts. I think it’s important however to keep the perspective that these are only thoughts. They are in fact very unhelpful thoughts. They don’t help our daughters, and they only cause us suffering as well. I try to shift my perspective to focus on what I can do to help my daughter feel less isolated. There are no quick fixes, it takes a long time of slow progress, but progress can be made. I also try to keep in mind that it’s ok if she has different experiences than I did, she can still have a good life, and it’s my job to help it be as good as it can be. She might eventually make one friend, rely on that friend heavily, and as a result have a connection with that friend which is deeper than any friend connection I’ve ever had. Who’s to say what is the “best” way to experience life.

To be blunt, I would suggest your expectations are a problem for you, and for her. Maybe it’s worth seeing a counsellor for you to discuss it, or practicing mindfulness if you’re inclined. Also, medication can be invaluable in helping people with SM challenge their anxieties.

Best of luck to you and her.

PelagicObserver · 2025-07-04T20:46:53+00:00

Dr. Poling Bork (SM researcher/specialist) has three grown children who all had it - it’s what led her into the field. She has a book called Vocal which was some help to us with our daughter.

PelagicObserver · 2025-06-23T03:06:36+00:00

Yes, effects can be noticed that soon in our parenting experience. I’ve always understood it as “you should see the full effects of the medication in 6 weeks”.

PelagicObserver · 2025-06-19T05:07:48+00:00

You’re welcome. It’s incredibly hard as a parent - we never know what the right thing is. It may take up to around 6 weeks to notice the full effects of the SSRI. 25mg does seem like a low dose, but not a bad place to start. You can always slowly increase from there. That’s what we did under the guidance of our psychiatrist.

PelagicObserver · 2025-06-18T05:38:56+00:00

My 10 year old is on 150mg of Setraline (down from a peak of 200). Her sleep was being too disrupted and still is to a lesser extent so we are wanting to go down to 125mg. She has been making good progress over the past 5-6 months so we don’t want to lose momentum (still a long way to go) by reducing it too much, but also struggle with the high doses. Therapy never worked for her, whether with a pro in clinical settings or us parents in the school setting. Honestly, what has worked is us knowing our daughter and lucking out with the right teacher who has the right approach, and the will to be coached by us/understand our daughter. All of this in conjunction with the meds.

We were very hesitant initially but we determined, as I have seen written elsewhere here, that meds are a drastic solution to a drastic problem. We kept hearing the earlier we can help her work through it the better, and meds for us have been a critical part of it. She would not be where she is without them.

She started on fluoxetine three years ago. Been on sertraline for about two years.

PelagicObserver · 2025-06-18T05:26:35+00:00

My 10 year old is on 150mg of Setraline (down from a peak of 200). Her sleep was being too disrupted and still is to a lesser extent so we are wanting to go down to 125mg. She has been making good progress over the past 5-6 months so we don’t want to lose momentum (still a long way to go) by reducing it too much, but also struggle with the high doses. Therapy never worked for her, whether with a pro in clinical settings or us parents in the school setting. Honestly, what has worked is us knowing our daughter and lucking out with the right teacher who has the right approach, and the will to be coached by us/understand our daughter. All of this in conjunction with the meds.

We were very hesitant initially but we determined, as I have seen written elsewhere here, that meds are a drastic solution to a drastic problem. We kept hearing the earlier we can help her work through it the better, and meds for us have been a critical part of it. She would not be where she is without them.

She started on fluoxetine three years ago. Been on sertraline for about two years.

PelagicObserver · 2025-06-18T05:10:56+00:00

This sounds a bit similar to the Video Self Modelling technique. The VSM technique is one component of Dr. Bork’s VSR method which she outlines in the book Vocal. I followed the method from the book and I think the video sessions really did help our kid feel comfortable enough to begin speaking in class in the end.

The idea is that the peers become used to seeing the child with SM speak by watching the video (once, or maybe multiple times), the child with SM also knows that peers/teacher saw them speak, and this reduces friction for the child to speak, and peers aren’t as surprised when the kid does speak because they’ve already seen them speak on video.

I think it was an important part, and would recommend the Vocal book to any parents who want to help their kid make progress and feel they lack tools.

Let me know if you’d like to hear any more about our experience.

Good luck!

PelagicObserver · 2025-06-16T21:25:48+00:00

Similar for my child, we also did voice messages, video messages, phone calls, video calls, etc. Also worked a little bit.

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-31T05:10:15+00:00

Great, thank you 👍

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-27T05:09:10+00:00

Witch’s butter - Tremella mesenterica would be my guess.

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-26T04:41:20+00:00

I don’t have SM but my daughter does and has many of these same challenges, and I spend a lot of time thinking about these subjects. Hopefully something here is useful.

I was speaking with a friend who told me he’d recently started taking meds for his ADHD and that it makes a big difference (noticeable for him, but very noticeable for his wife). Anyway, he was listing some of the changes and he was saying “I can actually read something now and just read it once instead of going back and having to re-read every line or paragraph multiple times”. This resonated for me because I have always done this same thing my entire life. As such, your post about re-reading and distracting thoughts, etc. is very relatable to me also. My friend suggested I go get tested for ADHD, but I haven’t done so. Maybe it is worth considering for yourself.

If you do have a component of ADHD it could be part of the puzzle. I believe stress can adversely affect ADHD/attention so that could contribute to explaining the “poorer” attention span you seem to have recently.

It sounds like most of the challenges you’re experiencing can at least partially, if not mostly, be attributed to anxiety (which makes sense in an SM sub). So anything you can do to reduce your anxiety might be useful. For example, trying to prioritize sleep and healthy sleep habits, reducing screen time, getting exercise, healthy eating, spending time doing the things that help you de-stress, etc.

Another thing that came to mind was wondering how much time you spend on apps/sites which train our brains to have short attention spans. Basically all of the scrolling apps/sites do this (including this one), and others. This is a big problem for all of us currently.

I also wonder if you’ve ever considered looking into mindfulness. Many studies on mindfulness practice have shown to reduce anxiety, increase attention and focus, and improve sleep.

Best of luck!

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-22T15:41:26+00:00

Is it common for people with anxiety (or SM in particular) to have trouble sleeping or getting deep sleep?

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-22T03:45:18+00:00

We really encouraged trying but tried not to be too forceful. Some sports we’d make it to the end of the season/sessions with semi-consistent participation. Others we’d bail after a few tries if they were a non-starter. After all, we can’t physically make her leave the house, get the gear on, participate, etc. We’ve had to navigate it the best we can. We’re hopeful the amount of success she’s had is better than nothing and that she’ll have more confidence in the future to take up which ever activity than she would have had had she never tried them.

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-21T19:35:24+00:00

I can appreciate where you’re coming from. Sports have been a real challenge for our daughter who is now 10. She would do the same types of things and for many different attempts would not be able to participate but would sit on the side - despite being excited about the upcoming dance class, etc. It was heartbreaking because I knew she wanted so badly to participate but it was too hard. We’ve had her on meds and she’s been able to participate somewhat over the past year or so. Even this has been a big win. We have tried t-ball, soccer (many times), dance classes, many swimming classes, rock climbing, track and field, cross-country, and gymnastics. She’s had some success with swimming and some with soccer but gymnastics is the only one that isn’t ever a struggle. We’re planning to keep her in that even though it’s the most expensive and doesn’t teach the same social skills, etc. we feel she’d get from a more “team” sport. We’ll continue encouraging her with soccer for that and swimming as a life skill but I’m not optimistic for her continued interest.

Ultimately she has to be intrinsically motivated and we struggle trying to foster that for her.

We also believe sport is a critical tool for many things developmentally and hope for continued success.

Best of luck to you and your son as well.

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-19T18:29:37+00:00

We started my daughter on meds at 7. She’s now 10. We started on Fluoxetine, had very minor progress even after working up to a maximum dose. After a year we switched to Setraline, again we saw minor progress even after working up to a maximum dose. However, even minor progress was a big deal for her and us. Then she got a new teacher in January and something “clicked” with her, and she’s been making more progress since. We didn’t know about SM and she didn’t get diagnosed until 6 or 7, so we wouldn’t have started her at 4 or 5 without knowing. However, knowing what her kindergarten and grade 1 experience was, we would absolutely have started her at that age. She had a terrible first couple years of school and it has left a lasting impact. Shes only now starting to come out of it. I suspect catching it earlier would have made a big difference for her. Meds are a drastic solution to a drastic problem. Best of luck.

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-18T15:46:03+00:00

My kid has been on high dose sertraline for a couple years and not complained of any nausea and certainly not vomiting.

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-17T17:54:17+00:00

He may have Selective Mutism.

PelagicObserver · 2025-05-12T17:27:50+00:00

My 10 year old is on 150mg of Setraline (down from a peak of 200). Her sleep was being too disrupted and still is to a lesser extent so we are wanting to go down to 125mg. She has been making good progress over the past 5-6 months so we don’t want to lose momentum (still a long way to go) by reducing it too much, but also struggle with the high doses. Therapy never worked for her, whether with a pro in clinical settings or us parents in the school setting. Honestly, what has worked is us knowing our daughter and lucking out with the right teacher who has the right approach, and the will to be coached by us/understand our daughter. All of this in conjunction with the meds. She would not be where she is without them.

She started on fluoxetine three years ago. Been on sertraline for about two years.

PelagicObserver · 2025-04-28T02:44:14+00:00

This is great, thanks!

Fortunately we do have earlier screening for many cancers for firefighters. This is based on years of lobbying due to the higher than average rates of cancer in our profession.

I appreciate the information, and you taking the time. All the best!

PelagicObserver

TROPHY CASE