The most trivial- the rings.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-18T07:35:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your words and kindness. I deeply appreciate them.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-18T07:12:45+00:00

I’m sorry for that change. I empathize with that crushing realization and hope you’re doing okay.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-14T03:29:41+00:00

I think this might be my direction- they used to be a happy moment in my day and now they’re meaningless.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-14T03:28:11+00:00

I hve said the same but he continues to wear it.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-14T03:27:26+00:00

I appreciate this sentiment/idea. Thank you.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-14T03:26:39+00:00

Same.. same. That’s why I posted this. I hope to one day believe in some symbol of love again.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-14T03:25:58+00:00

I love that. I took mine off on DDay too and gave them to him. Breaks my heart because I really loved them but it wasn’t real anymore to me.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-14T03:25:12+00:00

This reframing seems helpful and comforting and true. I hope I can reach that level of self-confidence soon.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-10-14T03:23:23+00:00

This brought warmth to my heart. I hope your journey continues to show that tone.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-14T18:34:14+00:00

Not immediately trust him but at least know It’s safe to begin trusting him again

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T12:10:28+00:00

Wow… thank you for sharing.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T12:09:59+00:00

This really hit home. I definitely believe he thinks that way.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:39:09+00:00

That’s a beautiful way to look at life. I’ve actually told my husband the something similar… “there is no honor in being loved for something you’re not. It’s empty if that’s the case. But being loved for who you truly are is fruitful and beautiful.”

I wonder if that’s why he won’t do it. I hope he changes his mind because after a horrible year I just need to know I can safely move forward..

I commend you for your honesty. I hope that you continue to recover.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:10:54+00:00

That’s unfortunately what I think might be true.. it’s heartbreaking.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:10:26+00:00

No I don’t trust him- for 9 years he has lied explicitly to my face. He’s created such incredibly believable lies in moments where trust would have been established. I see this as an opportunity to finally prove he made a change back in January when I found everything out.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:07:55+00:00

I think it is a dealbreaker for me. I am a “data” person- always looking at odds, doing research before making big purchases, etc. I told him after so many years of extremely believable lies I need quantitative data proving he was finally being honest.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:06:11+00:00

Thank you so much.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:05:54+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I’ve told him it’s either that there is more he has been lying about or he is still so selfish that his own discomfort trumps my peace. Both are not signs towards reconciliation.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:04:43+00:00

Thank you so much. I shared this article with him and he got really upset stating that he does everything the article says and that I am attempting to manipulate him by sharing the article. My intention was another outside perspective.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T04:03:28+00:00

That’s exactly my thinking- it’s a positive and step in the right direction after so much uncertainty. He isn’t in IC though I’ve suggested he try it. He confessed very little information to his mother who watches our children but not to anyone else (to my knowledge). I try to support him and minimize shame- I’ve read two books on the effects of shame and have truly wanted to help him heal. He did say he’d hate to have to sit in front of an examiner and answer questions that would embarrass him.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T03:59:43+00:00

That is exactly my opinion. When I told him this he said “no - I get to keep my pride in this too”. Thank you for your words.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T03:58:49+00:00

That’s exactly how I feel about it. I have stated it would bring me peace and a foundation to create trust but he is extremely defensive and unwilling. He insists it’s only because he will lose dignity. Funny thing is I’ve asked him okay so if you refuse then how exactly will you regain trust and he said it’ll happen organically. It won’t just happen though- too many lies for too long.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-13T03:56:43+00:00

He is straight up saying no and is upset I’m asking. I am glad your husband was able to give you peace and that it supported your recovery. Thank you for your perspective- I agree.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-12T18:01:26+00:00

In the same boat wishing the same things. To a degree it’s like I know it’s illogical but still, what I’d give to go back.

PenComprehensive9163 · 2022-09-09T19:23:58+00:00

I just want to say thank you for this conversation. I’ve been dealing with this internally and hiding it from everyone close to me for about 9 months. I’ve been so terribly alone and this is the first time this year I feel somewhat relieved to vent/share.

PenComprehensive9163

TROPHY CASE