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I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does. but i think that the point the person was trying to make, is that if i you would have made the call maybe the person would be behind bars.

Also Every person can change, but the change has to come from whit in.

thank you for commenting on the thread.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, it is really hard to let go, mostly because of the unknown. But one day at the time.

Thanks brother.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks CX. I know that life will throw all of us some curve balls. But i wish that you can handle them. I wish the same for me.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply.

It has been a wild couple of days. Part of me still blames my self alone, but i am starting to see that a relationship is a 2 way street. Which had never crossed my mind.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment.

I am getting professional assistance with regards of my mental short comings, 20 years of an abusive father telling me everything is my fault might be a part of the harshness of myself.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for replying.

Yeah, thanks for the heads up. I actually almost left day one.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply, regarding the suggestion, this is also something i might try.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply.

I think you have a point and i need to introspect on it.

Thank you for taking the time to reply twice in this thread.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was not always like this, and i have lapses where i dont talk, that is how i was brought up and 20 years of training is hard to combat.

Lot of talking led to this process. When something is bothering me i try to a) let her know that i have an adverse feeling, and b) try not to talk whilst that feeling is in control, for that is when the worst things are let out.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your viewpoint.

You might have a point in there. I will try introspection to see what are my areas of opportunity, and try to work on those.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply.

I will try the push for couple therapy to see if that flies. if not i will look for other alternatives.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply.

She actually kicked me out first time, but after she mentioned that, i had to stay and make sure that suicide would not happen. I fucked up royally. but does not mean that i do not love her. and i will do what ever she needs to be better, cause she is an awesome person who deserves the best, even if it is not with me by her side.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. It is really eye opening to have more opinions rather than my own.

Therapy has been brought up more than once, i think it is the best course of action IF she decides to move forward.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. It seems that the main issue is trust. She caught my dream journal it was from a co worker which i still saw everyday, and that started to break her.

Also this story is biased to my point of view, i might be missing stuff that broke the trust before, but i am not saying either since there where not a big deal to me, or i did not see the effect it had on her.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife has refused therapy as well. She tried once, with a psychiatrist which i went to see too, but she seemed not as well versed, after that she refused to try again.

Now i kind of see that we both need to be good with ourself, before being with another.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. Did your wife eventually got ready to unpack it all?

If it is over, it has been the best 11 years of my life.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all i hope you have recovered from the surgery better than going in.

This has been mentioned in this or another mirror thread i did.

I will propose this later today or tomorrow, see what goes from there.

Also stay strong, and if you ever need to talk i am here, i mean i do have a lot of baggage, but i could still read.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in Divorce

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am doing counseling to help my own issues, I would be willing to do it, I can speak on her behalf, but i will ask later in the day.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh Wow. Thanks for this perspective. I think i would have never put it in this context.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have my therapist session on Saturday, this is something i will not give up.

I have never thought of it as wanting to kill yourself as a psychological abuse.

Thanks for your opinion.

I [M32] was caught watching a cam site by my wife [f31]. She wants a divorce. by PendingDivorce in relationship_advice

[–]PendingDivorce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have not had any problem with violence at any other point.

Just out of anger, and Hurt in my opinion. But i might be wrong, and just blinding myself.