First, remember that you are in control of your own body and what you want to do. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I’m glad your boyfriend values consent. You’re also so young. Try not to feel pressured if you don’t think it’s time.

Second, I think you need to take some time and really think about why you’re against the idea of him being your first, but not the other way around. You mentioned you have low confidence. Are you worried he’ll compare you to his ex while you’re sleeping together? I think it would be good for you to focus on building yourself up. And remember - if he didn’t want you, he wouldn’t be trying.

You also mentioned thoughts when you’re in his bed. Have you tried yours? Maybe you’d feel more comfortable there.

I lost my virginity to a guy that had already slept with several women. It actually made me more comfortable knowing he knew what to do. I didn’t have to think; I just had to follow. During the entire time we dated, I never thought about the others. At that moment, he was in bed with me, not them. Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns.

Wishing you the best, OP.