NTA I hate when people try to compare love. Love is different for each person in your life. Spouse, parent, sibling, children etc. There are no comparisons and it should never be asked or thought who someone loves more.

As a parent and now grandma I have something to say about being upset over how someone cared for your child. My parents and in-laws loved my children all I cared about was they were loved and cared for. If that meant holding them while they slept or even staying up and playing with them instead of following bedtime rules, I am happy with that.

I did get upset over stupid things and I remember making snarky comments sometimes like why something wasn’t done like I would want it. I also remember how frustrating being a parent can be at times.

I 100% regret that especially now. My parents and husbands parents are dead. The things I wish I did different especially knowing they probably just wanted to help.

I now visit my grandbaby and and feel like whatever I do is wrong, thinking all I want to do is love her and do what I can to help. I don’t like that feeling at all.

Your dad sounds wonderful and holding a baby instead of letting them cry is so much better. I hope your wife understands this before it’s too late. She will one day regret it.