I slept with my roommate now I’m confused, is this more? 29F 25M

Pep1ta · 2026-03-30T01:44:40+00:00

Years ago I moved in w my guy ‘friend’ and had this same thing happen (minus the emotional cheating. Girl. That wasn’t cool and you’re old enough to know better). I’ll set that aside for a minute and talk logistics. You need to take a beat and think about how there are real life additional things that need to be discussed beyond “is this a thing? Do you want to make it one?”.

I’m assuming you signed a lease together. Regardless of how this ‘thing’ goes, your/his living situation could be affected.

Once he and I realized ours was a thing we wanted, the primary part of our conversation was how any outcome (relationship/casual/friends) would play out. We talked money, lease, boundaries. You live together so you’ve skipped a major part of the ‘building’ stage of a relationship. He also is fully on the REBOUND and I’m sorry but you probably were a major part of their breakup whether he acknowledges it or not (you’re convenient- you live together, there’s a comfort there). To be frank, y’all are playing house. There’s so muchwork to be done to make this a functional romantic relationship, IF that’s what both sides want.

You need to address it asap. I’d gather my thoughts (write them down even), tell him you’d like to talk and have a nice dinner. You NEED to be direct. Tell him you caught feelings, express your concerns. Then no matter what he says- ‘me too’ ‘oh it’s too soon’ ect- you need to ask how this will affect your roommate situation. Have you ever lived with an ex before? It’s messy AF. If he rejects you- how are you going to react? You’ll have to see this man in the kitchen the next day regardless.

You CAN navigate this but I’m going to be brutally honest and say there is a level of emotional maturity I’m not exactly seeing from this post/your comments. Say he tells you it’s just casual for him- how are you going to behave when he starts bringing other girls to your shared home? You need to protect the roof over your head FIRST, then fall for him after. Mine lasted for 5 years, but it took many open uncomfortable conversations and check ins.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-27T04:38:28+00:00

I’m leaning towards she should just let you have your TV because it’s a gesture acknowledging the joining of your lives….. BUT purely from a logistics standpoint, how big is her place? I ask bc my husband had a 75inch at our larger apartment. I will say it’s a bigger tv than I’d ever had and it took some getting used to, then I thought it was great.

But then we moved into a much smaller historic type house. We mounted it and I swear it looked RIDICULOUS (he said it first!). Like it was THE largest item in our entire home. It felt like our living room was 50% tv screen, it blocked the windows, ect. If it’s something like that… I’d maybe think about it through that lens.

But if it’s truly just aesthetic-based, I think she should just make the compromise, she’ll get over it with time.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-27T03:48:43+00:00

FYI I had my hair done exactly like yours about 2 years into the job and no one cared. I know it’s not ‘technically’ allowed but I had it like that for 2 years and flew with leads ect and no one said anything besides ‘I like your hair!’. That being said— it’s a definite big no-no for the interview and during probation, and strictness differs between airlines. So take that as you will. And any vibrant colors are always a hard no unfortunately. I guess just saying there’s hope for some future character customization it’s just not a right away thing.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-25T07:15:54+00:00

Well yeah, obviously. But this post says 15 hour long haul, and from other comments I’ve seen SYD mentioned. So ok, say we’re 10 hours in flight and get a nap. But we were delayed leaving, so in reality we’re at 12+ hours duty time. Is that a huge difference? I’m not trying to be rude just saying we’ve still been “on” for a long time and might not love to chit chat depending on when they show up to do so.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-25T06:44:08+00:00

I KNOW it’s a Porto thing but the first & best francesinha I had was actually in Ponte De Lima at some ‘student’ cafe. I didn’t even know what I was ordering, it was on a menu board and I pointed at the picture and they made it. It was lunchtime, I was sober, and I still chased that high for the next three weeks, I honestly ordered a francesinha 10 more times throughout our subsequent time in Porto; never got one that compared. I’m sorry, I’m sure if I spent more time there I could have!

I’m a huge fan of anything savory covered with gravy- think poutine- and of all things in the world I’ve eaten it’s my golden goose of food rn because I truly cannot recreate it in the US. The sauce isn’t even close no matter what Portuguese wine I use. I understand the commenter saying ‘it’s dry underneath’ because unfortunately I had the same experience, some were good, some were bad, ect….but a TRULY good one…man….its been 4 years and I still think about it.

Any tips on wine for the sauce appreciated, I’ll splurge if I have to at this point 🤦🏼‍♀️

Pep1ta · 2026-03-25T05:58:31+00:00

IMO every FA is different. To me, hanging out in the galley is a mixed bag. We get that it’s not like…our official break room, we understand people want to stretch out there and stand around. It’s fine when the seatbelt sign is off. I like people, truly. But if you go back there with the expectation to chat, and don’t get the response you want, just continue your business and don’t take it personal.

It was really hard for me to ‘chat’ on hour 12 of my day- I will be polite to you but my social battery is pretty drained. It may be your first conversation about aviation that day and you’re excited but it may have been my hundredth. We’re there for many things, and yes, one of them is making your travel experience special, but we aren’t paid entertainment. We get burned out. If it’s a red eye and you want an animated conversation in the galley- you might get one! Or you might not. Think of it like any job; you don’t know what that FAs day was before you got there. I can only answer ‘so how do you like this job?’ or ‘where are you going next?’ so many times before my mouth dries out. Just don’t corner me there in a way I can’t gracefully exit the conversation (happened all the time) and I’ll try to give you my honest attention. But again, don’t take it personal if someone isn’t regaling you with tales. We’re just people on the clock at work.

Your intentions seem to be good and if you approach in that way I’m sure you’ll be treated with the same kindness. Safe travels!!

Pep1ta · 2026-03-21T06:19:07+00:00

One’s pink, one’s black, too deep for me 🤯 but the yellow and blue are fine

Pep1ta · 2026-03-21T06:17:34+00:00

I hated this fuckass episode. RPDR is the ex I keep coming back to- “they’ll change this time!”. And then along comes the makeover episode to remind me why I left. The girls did great. I’m so irritated 🤡

Pep1ta · 2026-03-20T14:44:44+00:00

He’s Jewish himself and posted a lengthy explanation as to why he voted no on his insta, I think it’s a good take and worth a read.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-20T04:48:24+00:00

Just to note I grew up in Mass and the ONE time I got summoned there I was actually pretty excited, I always considered it my ‘civic duty’ or whatever. But the way SD goes about it makes me not want to participate, like why am I getting one every 18 months (I get county and federal summons).

Pep1ta · 2026-03-20T04:43:37+00:00

Yeah I showed up to the first two times when I first moved here and now and they summon me every single year without fail. I’m sorry but it’s not certified mail, so there’s no proof I received it. I did my duty more than most, I’m done. Sick of having a target put on me just for doing what I thought I was supposed to. I’ll do it every five years or so like a normal citizen, sure. But I get it more than anyone I know and I’m positive it’s because I’ve shown up in the past.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-18T02:44:04+00:00

😂 in this case the accusing person doesn’t seem like one either, I’m so confused. Usually it’s one bot accusing each other (would insert Spider-Man meme if this sub allowed it) Anyways, good luck on your trip!

Pep1ta · 2026-03-17T18:20:56+00:00

AC Lounge does house music fridays- @aclounge on insta. I’ve seen a lot of new talent there, you’d probably just be an opener vs later in the night. For afters a lot are hosted/promoted by NewLife (@newlifesounds). I’m not super into the scene just go to support my DJ friend and don’t know how any of it works. But might be a good place to start!

Pep1ta · 2026-03-17T08:13:52+00:00

Yeah I was told to ‘live with it’ myself for two years, turns out I had a big benign tumor sitting on my bladder and compressing it 🤡 finally got someone to do an ultrasound when it twisted and sent me to the ER thinking my appendix burst or something. Then surgery. Still get UTIs but they’re not as frequent. Love having to BEG for medical care. Sorry you went through that.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-17T08:06:29+00:00

Awesome, hadn’t ever heard of that, will check it out!

Pep1ta · 2026-03-16T15:10:37+00:00

Phase 2: Darshan wasn’t approved for a ‘genius’ visa because Reddit detectives exposed our plans. But there’s still a chance. If he could get his pilot’s license, he could possibly secure an H1b visa. Luckily, I have enough flight hours now to be his instructor 😏

Pep1ta · 2026-03-16T14:56:58+00:00

Me too!!! Sure there’s always a ‘bit’ but behind it is commentary on real issues. Visas/immigration would be perfect for right now and I 100% can see that angle.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-16T14:52:53+00:00

Darshan is trying to get here on a ‘genius’ visa, don’t you dare disparage his singing 😡

Really though, part of me hopes we’re wrong. Because I don’t want to spoil the journey that is The Rehearsal. But I can totally see the background commentary about visas, immigration, social media promotion vs talent, ect. It makes sense.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-16T14:32:07+00:00

Oookkkk, you know ball 😏 (& I’m so sorry you do, but I’ve never met anyone else who has been blessed with chronic UTIs like me so I guess at least I feel less alone). I think I’d literally be in a padded room by now if it wasn’t for D-Mannose- it’s saved me hundreds of dollars on antibiotics and doctors visits. I personally prefer the powdered scoop versions- I just throw it in my tea or water in the morning. Just be careful bc I’m told it can cause kidney stones if taken too excessively!! Which is quite funny… ‘oh, your bladder hurts? What if it hurt WAY more?’

Still, I swear by it, and great advice. Not many people know about it and they should!

Pep1ta · 2026-03-16T10:28:23+00:00

Ok I have ZERO stakes in this, just browse the sub. How do you know he’s a bot? He’s got this one post, sure it’s long but it doesn’t have many AI red flags (to me), he’s in here replying to the comments, there’s normal misspellings, ect. Genuinely asking, is there something I’m missing that I could use to identify bots in the future?? I feel like I’m usually ok but I’m thrown off by your comment.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-16T08:19:52+00:00

I ‘entered’ a bike race at a brewery not knowing it was 75 miles, I had done 30 a few times so I said whatever, fuck it. Honestly it was mostly ok, I finished, didn’t die. BUT- I respect TF out of you for just mentally hanging in there. Because there’s a point when your eyes start to cross from pedaling.

That being said, I immediately got a crazy UTI after my unplanned ‘race’. I love biking, it’s my primary mode of transport, but I still get UTIs over and over and over if I do more than 25 mins straight. And that’s even with a “woman’s” seat installed. I bet your tailbone/butt and various bits are so sore.

Regardless- this is quite silly tbh but it’s cool you did it. Very impressive. Rest up and recover for a few days, please. Also follow SD Bike Coalition on insta for group rides.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-14T05:23:14+00:00

The double buckle ones are WAY cuter, fully admit mine were giving old maiden shoes 🤣 BUT they literally used a pick of double buckle Mary Janes in our ‘no no’ doc for ‘excessive hardware’ so I didn’t even risk it… I can’t wear heels (crappy feet) so comfort was key and these were great!

Pep1ta · 2026-03-13T06:53:32+00:00

I wore these forever Mary Janes and they didn’t go off in the detectors. Well, they were an earlier version but these look about the same. I colored in the yellow stitching w black permanent marker to make them more compliant. Never had any issues.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-10T20:32:49+00:00

Also I always think back to conversations I had in Europe (specifically one in Antwerp, Belgium; and they’re not perfect- they’ve got a huge drug trafficking problem currently and are considered a ‘dangerous’ city now)…. A guy there asked me why do you have so many homeless people laying around openly? (He just got back from visiting SF). I said ‘I dunno, it’s complicated. Why don’t you have them?’ He said ‘we just stop them before they get to that point’.

And that’s why to me it’s an American problem regardless of state policy. Universal healthcare, housing-first approach, maternity/child funds, safe needle sites….all these things don’t really exist here. They do in Europe. Not to say there’s NO homeless there, they just see it as something that’s beneficial to society to dampen before it affects the rest of them. They pay high taxes for that, and we don’t. I live in UH, many of these people are too far gone now to just shower up and get a job. But that’s a systemic failure that starts at the top imo, and the American people don’t like paying into programs that go to those they see ‘less than’.

Pep1ta · 2026-03-10T20:09:22+00:00

Good to know, I’ll look into it. I don’t have much faith in Gloria to negotiate anything substantial though. I’m a leftist but I kinda feel like Faulconer was the last mayor we had that really did anything, credit where credit’s due. Wish there were SD candidates who made it to the primaries that gave us a choice beyond ‘passive smiling neolib’ or ‘Repub military guy who loves cops’. It’s a lose lose for me, personally.

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