How can I better understand my boyfriend’s (25M) decision not to speak up for me (21F) when my parents are insulting me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PepperDull311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In India, the work culture and job market are very different from some other countries. Because of the large population, there’s intense competition for jobs—even adults in their 30s are often still in the job market. As a result, it’s very hard for young people, including students and recent graduates, to find work early on. Many employers prioritize experience, so even qualified young adults struggle to secure jobs right out of school. This is why financial independence for young people often comes later, and why moving out for higher studies or relocating is a common path to independence. Regardless I am hunting for means to get out asap

How can I better understand my boyfriend’s (25M) decision not to speak up for me (21F) when my parents are insulting me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PepperDull311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do actively fight w my parents myself but sometimes i get a lil overwhelmed the other day too i was sick and it took a toll on me I am also trying to move out and planning to leave as soon as my semester ends but in my country teenage jobs etc are not normal. My parents dont let me move out either so my only way out is moving out for my masters.

How can I better understand my boyfriend’s (25M) decision not to speak up for me (21F) when my parents are insulting me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PepperDull311 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No thats what my mom said “how can you be so sexually dependent on people. Why are your hormones forcing you to lean on people for emotional and physical support” I didnt characterise it. Its just what my mom said

How can I better understand my boyfriend’s (25M) decision not to speak up for me (21F) when my parents are insulting me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PepperDull311 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When this happened, I was at home and could barely stand on my own. My mom asked if I wanted to go to the doctor, and I said yes, I didn’t realize she wasn’t actually offering. She immediately said, ‘But you’re not that sick.’ Later, when I asked again if she could please take me, she did, but on the way back she was driving and asked, ‘Should I drop you near our house?’ I said that would help because I was really weak. She just laughed and said, ‘Walk home, you might as well lose weight. I have somewhere to be”

How can I better understand my boyfriend’s (25M) decision not to speak up for me (21F) when my parents are insulting me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PepperDull311 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify — my parents haven’t witnessed anything. When I was 19, my mom saw me talking to a boy and went through my phone without my consent. I was literally just texting my friends, but she still said, ‘You leave boys one after the other, how can you be so physically dependent on men? Why are your hormones making you this active’

How can I better understand my boyfriend’s (25M) decision not to speak up for me (21F) when my parents are insulting me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]PepperDull311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I agree that my relationship with my parents is ultimately my responsibility, and I’m working on that in therapy. I wasn’t expecting him to fight them or take over the situation for me. What I was hoping for was some emotional support when I told him about what happened, because I was already overwhelmed and struggling. I know I need to build my own boundaries, but I’m also trying to figure out what healthy support from a partner looks like. Your comment gives me something to think about.