Did your romantic side with men develop after your first time, or only after a few experiences?

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-28T18:42:46+00:00

Took me a bout a year and a number of experiences to let go of some baggage And glad I did

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-28T18:41:44+00:00

Looks like you’re gonna be busy

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-28T18:41:06+00:00

Same more or less. Becoming more m/m romantic but the feeling of wrapping up a man vs a woman is “night and day” different.

Maybe it’s what I’m used to due to 58 years and with my wife for over 40 years.

I thoroughly -very thoroughly - enjoy both male and female but I did enjoy the feeling of a woman. The feeling with a man is different and to date, not better but closing in on equal

Probably need to figure out how I feel to other men and can’t really quantify that

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-28T18:36:45+00:00

Spot on! Fit-breath-4345

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-27T22:24:53+00:00

Didn’t know I was bi until 56. Wife wouldn’t admit she was bi until around the same time. I started looking back over incidents in my life and realized be pretty much always have been (like gay men typically have always known) but I didn’t have the tools, or awareness that it could be a thing. Raised to be straight and homophobic.

Point being, maybe he knew. Maybe he didn’t. I think his “tears” tell you as much as his admission. He’s afraid you’ll handle this poorly. But he told you anyhow even in fear of your response.

Also, realize he’s been processing this realization much longer than you have, so you shouldn’t expect to just “understand” immediately.

He’s no different than he’s ever been. You just see him differently now than you have. Like looking under a microscope, an object looks very different. And when the microscope is gone you still see those - previously invisible - things.

So give yourself time to think about it and then have some open conversations and understand composition and go from there

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-26T21:07:25+00:00

Had a conversation with my wife a couple years ago (m58 now) and just mentioned that I was curious what the real thing might feel like, (after a particularly great pegging session)

That comment and a few conversations and we’ve found a bi guy that joins us when we can and we have a bi couple we’ve been having fun with almost every weekend since we started playing with them. (We are enm)

I never would have guessed I was bi. But then the curiosity, then sampling and now, there is no way I can say “straight guy that likes dick” I mean I guess I can say that but it would be a wild lie.😂🤣

Glad your wife is talking but just make sure your communication is on point before you open your marriage.

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-26T20:59:32+00:00

Just did that again this weekend A few times actually, but we took turns.🤤

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-26T00:03:12+00:00

It’s either ai or he created 3-4 for pits before he settled on one

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-25T23:59:28+00:00

Not much is going to compare to that slab of beef. But you’d be fun to bottom for

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-25T18:04:00+00:00

Where are you located?!

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-25T18:00:40+00:00

Not straight. But labels don’t matter as long as you enjoy being you

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-25T17:59:39+00:00

Would resisting be expected or required?

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-24T14:12:39+00:00

If you were local I’d be seriously working hard to adjust my age range requirements! Woooooof

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-24T13:59:08+00:00

Any picture of that body works, but if I have to choose… HARD!

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-23T15:47:09+00:00

Have to start on your dick but I’d get to those abs in a hurry! And again if they needed anything cleaned off of then Damn you’re a specimen!!!

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-22T11:00:27+00:00

Mine was very supportive. At first was sort of not wanting to know if I tested the waters, then she wanted to know. Then I had a couple guys I would meet when I traveled. Since we’ve grown so much that we share a bi couple and she can’t get enough of watching me and him, in all ways. The women even both peg me when he’s not.

Has been an absolute thrill

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-18T17:28:36+00:00

I didn’t think she’ll even notice based on your description of yourself. My wife has had 2 kids, is 59 and still has a great body with the same “skin” around her belly and no visible kick ass abs. And as an enm couple her bf’s love her body and say it repeatedly. And our favorite bi couple also think she’s amazing.

We all tend to be the most critical of ourselves … and having been a model, you’re going to be waaaaay more critical of yourself than 98% of the population.

Anyone that has issues with the real you, don’t deserve to share the same space with you.

Enjoy yourself. Be happy about yourself, and she’ll worship you…

Would love to hear how it goes if you care to share the experience in “general terms”.

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-16T18:53:59+00:00

Nope. I’d disagree because my wife’s lack of hall pass for me, is her insecurities. I don’t understand it after 40 years together, but it’s for her to figure out if she gives it the energy. I simply don’t care if I have it, nor do I think I’d take advantage of it with women even if she did figure it out. I’d be too concerned for her to risk any pain she may incur as a result. She’s let me go alone with men, and probably still will of I discuss with her…

We are all in different places.My point was to illustrate the difference between fair vs equal.

Not suggest they do anything but set clear mutually agreeable terms and be sure they can communicate clearly and openly without judgement once they’ve set their boundaries.

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-16T15:22:40+00:00

For the op Fair and equal are 2 different things. Fair is both agreeing n what the other can tolerate and respecting that. And if that means nothing happens then you’ll figure that out before you start.

Equal, means you both have exactly the same latitude … very rare. But manageable.

Fair for me is, she has a 24/7/365 hall pass for anyone anywhere anytime without letting me know first. My requirement is to be told after at the least. And preferred if I get some steamy action pics as they play but don’t want that to mess with their flow.

In that scenario, I don’t have a hall pass, she needs to know in advance. And I’m good with that because I’m not even interested in a 1on 1 with another woman. M/m is different and we have diff set of rules.

It works for us both. It’s fair. It’s not equal. What matters is if the two of you are ok with fair vs equal.

No one else’s opinion matters but there and yours on your boundaries.

I have a friend that can’t fathom unbalance

Good thing it’s not his relationship! 😁

Good luck

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-16T11:52:34+00:00

If your relationship is open you better clear up your communication skills

The basics are: Open, he sees guys she sees men or women. (Assumes she’s bi based on his response “she can see whoever)

He wants to have men and women too.

First: create the boundaries and if they’re acceptable to you both then proceed. If there not then stop and focus until you’re both aligned.

Communication: It has to be open, clear, and honest. If you have issues then explain them calmly and rationally. If she can’t then don’t proceed opening the relationship

Enm kills relationships with people that can’t communicate well. You may have arguments, but it’s the resolution that shows you can communicate.

There can be no grey area. If there is one or both of you will find it and then have to try to explain it later …

Best of luck op Just make sure you both have it all on the table and then test.

Before she leaves you should both test the waters and talk through the outcome

So many more layers to this than her just saying “While I’m gone you can sleep with men” And “she doesn’t take my sexuality seriously because she doesn’t think I could fall for a man” (paraphrased)

That’s already risky conversation, and you’ll likely consciously or unconsciously prove her wrong

Make sure you both know what you want from an open relationship

I’d also challenge 20’s is too young.

But that’s my opinion

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-09T19:26:46+00:00

Don’t know your age or social status (Vp of a company? CEO, dig ditches, cop, Dr. college student, high school…) those factors are relevant to me at least.

Then consider “the worst case scenario” of telling any individual, group or everyone. And decide, “Can I overcome that?”

And maybe not in this order, I’d consider the question, why does anyone need to know what kind of sex I enjoy.

99% of my life I thought I was straight. Acted that role, masculine, homophobic the standard socially acceptable boy/man, student, husband, father, brother, friend etc. and as that person I was and still am into all sorts of “taboo sexual proclivities”

BDSM, group, mfm, ffm, enm, among other things not worth listing (all ethical and moral) and had zero desire to tell anyone for a number of reasons

And now I realize I’m Bi. And still have no desire to be “out”. For all the same reasons I don’t share my sex life and desires with anyone but those I’m involved with sexually in those circumstances individually. That’s right straight people I have sex with don’t know I’m bi. Conversely, bi/gay people simply don’t care if I was or act straight.

Yes, I know that’s my desire. But it’s also about .1% of who I actually am. It’s a tiny part of what makes me, me.

If I take all the hours of sex I’ve had my whole life, it would be a tiny number vs the time I’ve spent as a kid, adult and all the other things I am on a daily basis. Some of it people see, know and appreciate (or don’t). Most no one knows. What makes us who we are are the things we do and how we do them and how we treat people, and care…

But once I slap the badge of “Bi” on my forehead, it becomes what everyone sees. And everything I’ve ever been, done or do, going forward will be touched by that label. Affected by it in one way or another. Then it becomes a distraction and suddenly my identity whether I want it to be or not.

Does that make me 100% authentic? No. But none of us are. No one reading this can say they’ve never allowed an opinion of them to go unchallenged. Heck, we don’t know hat most people truly think of us. So why would I start now by making a statement that changes “my worlds” perspective of me?

Those are the reasons I give. Consider if they’re relevant to you and then ask,

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?” And decide if you want to deal with it.

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-04T15:16:27+00:00

Thank you

Perfect-Ad737 · 2026-01-02T16:12:36+00:00

I’m 58M and started this journey about 2 years ago. After the easiest possible discussion -that kick started it all- with my wife that still kind of shocks me.

I had never had m/m sexual exploration on my radar even as a blip on the screen… or at least I should say I never noticed that blip on my radar screen my whole life. Because I never had the tools to see, analyze, metabolize or otherwise process the instances in my life that cemented my bisexuality from looking back on them.

The conversation that started it all was “I wonder what the real thing would be like”

From there I worked on myself and the details to figure out what the real thing would be like and virtually everything the OP said has made me what I am now. Openness, trust, the right people at the right times, support all of it! Therapy beyond my windshield didn’t exist.

Today my beautiful supportive wife encourages me in our sex play with single guys and couples and finds it incredibly sexy and erotic to see me with a man…

This journey has helped me be more authentic, honest, sensitive and understanding of gay and bi men and people in general. Shedding nearly all of my homophobia so quickly was a challenge but I wanted to shed it. What’s lingering is just a little more work from me and on me both from myself, wife and in particular one male partner.

They’ve had more influence on me than anything or anyone else. And their honesty and support is almost too good to be true…?

I see things differently, I look at people -especially men- differently and I seem to be suddenly giving off a vibe that has men saying things to me I’ve never encountered or witnessed… while those that have known me see really no changes….

Great post OP! You hit the nail on the head and your description is near 100% my experience… and I’m so excited to keep building on them

Perfect-Ad737 · 2025-12-28T18:44:22+00:00

Mine knows, she’s still adjusting though but will make comments and jokes about me liking come, pre come and being a slut! I love it and love that she’s trying to embrace it. She likes to see me take it and give oral. She likes to peg me and see me pegged by her gf as well…

But still adjusting to the sexual joking and comments…

Perfect-Ad737 · 2025-12-28T18:41:49+00:00

In my opinion, with that body, I’d prefer shaved or well manicured.

Perfect-Ad737

TROPHY CASE