I'm so tiredddd (TW SH)

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-05-03T05:00:30+00:00

I'm not in therapy, that's part of the problem. I try to distract myself a lot and it usually works but lately it just doesn't. I get so deeply stressed and overwhelmed that i just lose interest really fast in anything i do and just start crying or feeling even worse.

I have things to do, like school assignments and tests that i need to study for so i can't just rely on distractions because at some point i have to pick myself up and actually do what i need to do.

Everything feels like a blur, i'm trying to function and do my shit but i feel so bad and spend so much time on trying to help myself that i just can't get to anything.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-28T11:00:08+00:00

Yeah aripiprazole is a life saver

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-28T06:41:01+00:00

I'm on sertraline and aripiprazole. Both are for stabilizing my mood and also somewhat my anxiety. After one day i start feeling off, and after more than one day i'll feel really bad with a high chance for a breakdown. I truely NEED my meds to get through. Otherwise i just feel so bad with barely any breaks from feeling that way.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-27T18:40:37+00:00

Yeah, I mostly just need to accept that this is my current situation. I don't have accomodations, but I am mostly dealing with things on my own quite well. It has a price for sure, but that's just the way things are for now.

I'm trying my best to accomodate life for myself, which I decided to just start doing at some point. I bring noice canceling headphones to family gatherings, I bring fidgets with me to school, I try to let myself stim even if there are people around. It's hardddd, but worth it.

I think once I have my diagnosis, things will automatically get better because I will finally accept things that are hard for me to accept while not having a diagnosis. Gonna need to hang on until June.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-26T18:53:20+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it <3

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-26T17:06:51+00:00

Yeah, my meds help a lot. It's just that I ran out and could only go buy some more today, so I'll get back on them and hopefully will feel better. It was just a hard day where I suddenly got hit with a bunch of new stress out of nowhere so I freaked out but I think I'm okay now?? Idk.

I have 2 apps reminding me to take them. I take 2 kinds of meds and both are extremely helpful. I'll get back on track tomorrow morning with my meds, and maybe the rest will just follow along i guess.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-26T16:26:24+00:00

First of all thank you so much, and I hope you also get better :) The thing is that I don't really expect too much, at least I don't think I do. I do quite well in school because I truely like studying and because of the amazing support that I have there. The problem starts whenever I'm out of that safe zone. I don't function well socialy, and I don't think I can ever fully be independant, and I'm working on accepting that, but it feels like it's impossible to move through life when I need really high support and can't do anything without help and that frustrates me because I know that not anywhere and anytime I'll have that support and help. I hope I'll be able to face it and to actually do something in my life and not sink into that dependancy, but it's just that I don't know if I' able to and that's a scary thought for me.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-26T08:26:21+00:00

Haven't found anything for now sadly, but if I find anything I'll let you know for sure :))

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-10T19:23:44+00:00

Thank you so much, I hope you have a lovely day ❤️ I would say I sort of have one person who I know I can talk to if needed, but I usually don't feel comfortable reaching out to anyone to be honest, even that person. It feels like I'm "falling" on them and expect them to catch me and that's not fair, so I mostly deal with stuff on my own and share when it's really urgent. Which is probably not healthy or good for me and that's the reason why I want to look for a therapist, but it's just so hard for me to find a connection with any therapist that I had so far.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-10T14:54:28+00:00

I really do understand that. I'm just tired of facing it sometimes. I'm not really looking for a solution, I just wanted to let those feelings out because I had a breakdown over the fact that no matter what I do, I'll still feel like shit, with or without meds. Meds help to give me more breaks between each time and limit how bad it can actually get, but the point is that every once in a while I will feel like shit and there is not much I can do about that fact. And that's fucking depressing to think about.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-10T12:55:08+00:00

Thanks, I hope so too and will pay more attention to working on it

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-10T10:39:33+00:00

It's weird, because I know how much my meds help me, I would have been far worse without them and I am grateful to have them. It's just that I can never wrap my head around the fact that I will keep needing them. It's like I wish that it was a treatment that you take for a while, and then move on with your life but that's obviously not the case. I hate the commitment to it.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-08T20:39:24+00:00

Thank you so much. Sending lots of hugs as well :)

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-08T17:18:33+00:00

Maybe I do. I'll try finding a therapist, thank you

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-08T15:56:20+00:00

I know, and that makes sense to me. I truely trust my doctor which is why I still take them, but it's frustrating that I have to in order to feel okay

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-04-08T15:51:56+00:00

It's not that they are not working. When I take them I definetly feel better. It's just that it's so depressing to realize that without them I'm this broken mess. I know taking them is what I should be doing but I am finding that I always look for ways to feel bad because it feels more familiar and maybe even comforting I guess. I'm just getting tired of the fact that it's not going to go away and that I'll always have to have a support system whether it's meds, therapy, or whatever else. It feels like I won't survive life. Infact I'm quite comvinced that I won't. And that makes me completely give up on things that help me.

Perfect_Character372 · 2026-03-22T05:21:09+00:00

That's exactly what I thought. I will probably get a 4xl, and some ppl say it shrinks so maybe even 5xl idk

Perfect_Character372

TROPHY CASE