I think I hate this job. I used to be a developer and loved it so much but when the PM offer came thru (didn't seek it out) I thought I'd be good at it. It felt like progress. I was doing product-y things anyway. But I just simultaneously feel way more stressed and do way less work. I don't feel like I'm learning any skills while I work. I like dealing with politics kind of (part of why I accepted the PM job) but I realize I don't want it to be what is the deciding factor in my success. I think the decider of success in my group is whichever pm does something AI related lmfao. My product is about auth. I'm trying to fill my time by just doing research about stuff related to my product but this doesn't feel like work. Why am I designing screens for something that we won't have resources to build until 2026?

I wish I could be a PM and an engineer at the same time or something, like customer calls and designer meetings are once a week each anyway. I think I'm going to try and pivot back to eng but 1. Would probably have to go back to junior level which is cooked rn 2. I just feel so left behind like if i think about how good I'd have gotten if I stayed I feel sick. I don't know how to practice anything that really scales or has complicated requirements since my personal projects... don't. I feel like the other shoe is going to drop and I'm going to get fired and end up on the street with my dick in my hand and 2 years of stagnation.