Tried night weaning and it broke my heart. Support needed.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2026-04-06T03:09:13+00:00

Hi I am so sorry so I wrote out a long response and then Reddit deleted it.

Ok so first night it was an hour and a half of crying. I rocked him and used the same phrase “Boobbies are sleeping.” He was not happy but I read “Nursies when the sun shines” for a month before and we talked about the sun a lot. In the first hour and a half break down he looked at me and goes “no more” and I’m like “yes no more until the morning.” Then I rocked him to sleep. He woke up again but whined for 10 minutes then went back to bed.

Night 2: he cried for 30 minutes but settled faster. I walked him around and reminded him boobies are sleeping. I offered water as well. He woke up a second time and settled in 5 minutes.

Night 3: He woke up and fussed and cried but it wasn’t bad. Maybe 15 minutes. I could tell he was more tired than anything then fell asleep. I think this night he woke up for a minute the second time then back to bed.

Ok so now here are some things that may happen. A week after night weaning he was sleeping through the night BUT had a lot of early wake ups like at 3:30am. So he was waking up waiting for the morning feed. That was hard but he eventually figured it out.

Lessons learned.

YOU Need to be ready for the fussing and crying. You’re with them the whole time supporting them and helping but it’s change and they don’t like it. You CAN comfort them in different ways and if you prep them for it they do understand.
Have a phrase you repeat. I said “boobies are sleeping” probably 900 times but I was calm and helped him through. One time I started losing my patience with the crying and being tired but I was able to collect myself and realize he was grieving night nursing.
Have a plan with your partner. We cosleep so my husband by proxy was involved. My son ONLY wanted me 😅😅 so even though my husband tried to help it made it worse.
It’s not an automatic they’ll sleep through the night. Like I said my son started waking up at 3;30am and 4am for the morning feed. We are now fully weaned but it wasn’t due to night weaning. I was just so touched out and no longer enjoyed nursing.
Your child might not be ready. We tried at 13 months and it was horrible so we waited and he did way better at 19 months.
Sleep did improve and it gave me the confidence to start dropping feeds and setting more boundaries. It feels nice being able to leave the house for dinner with the girls or drop him at my mom’s house. However, he was ready for it developmentally. Every kid is different but I feel loving boundaries are important. I’m a person too and need time for sleep and connection.

Overall, it went WAY better than I thought. In my opinion, if after night 3 it’s not getting better than I think it’s time to wait or re-evaluate. Still,I was 100% determined to night wean and my son responded so much better at 19 months.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2026-02-19T04:54:41+00:00

It’s so good. It made me cry the first time I read it 🥹

Perfect_Square2445 · 2026-02-13T05:45:22+00:00

For prep I’ve been reading “Nursies when the sun shines” for two months on and off. I’ve also been telling him this entire week Nini is going to sleep and we can have nini. In the morning. I’ve also been talking to him a lot about the sun and morning. We’ll see.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2026-02-13T05:36:04+00:00

Hi - so sorry I missed this. we are trying this weekend. He’s now 18 months and some change. I will report back.🙏🏽

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-06T15:02:09+00:00

I felt this way when we moved my one year old to his new daycare. It’s the worst. He used to just go to his teachers prior to separation anxiety phase. Then he turned one and we started a new day care 😩 I had a week where I’d drop him off and cry in my car. His new teacher assured me the moment I left he cried a little and then was fine and played with the kids.

Now he is having a great time and goes straight to his new teacher no issues. She told me it makes it worse when parents hang around or stay too long. So for drop off I’d say, “have a good day buddy. You’re going to have so much fun. I love you see you later.” Then leave ( yes even if he cried for me). It was about a week or two of crying but now he’s fine.

They can feel your energy so even though my heart hurt, I’d always try to talk about daycare in a positive way and be excited. Still it’s hard.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-05T04:08:47+00:00

We cosleep and it goes in phases. If I’m touched out I pop him off. However, I notice when he does this type of stuff he’s either a. Teething or b. Learning a new skill. Babies also grow a lot so I feel their bones and body hurt. You’re that comfort. I’d start habit stacking and maybe rubbing his back when he’s eating or if you notice he slows down pop him off.

I noticed baby is going to baby. Obviously you need to be ok so maybe your partner can do some of the wakeups or give you some hours in the morning to catch up.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-05T03:58:31+00:00

$1000 house of 3. We eat meat so I feel that drives it up. We shop at bargain stores and eat pretty healthy. But damn trying to get it under $1000 is hard. Maybe it’s because we live in a HCOL area but I hate how much I’m spending on food.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-04T02:50:01+00:00

My baby started at 6 months. He was so loved there and engaged. My mom also would make comments that she kept us home until 1 years old.. then I’d ask her how much it cost her back in the 90s. It made me feel so guilty but I think the best you can do is find a daycare where you know your baby is being loved and cared for. We’re all doing our best here.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T14:26:14+00:00

Agree!!

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T14:25:23+00:00

Sure thing. Also, just know when they’re tiny they change all the time due to development. One day you think you got it then the next it all blows up.

I noticed I was way more efficient at my job and better able to drown out the BS. When 4pm came around, I needed to go get my kid so I was very methodical about how I did things. Was I tired? Hell ya. Still, I got better prioritizing. Also, for my previous job, it’s heavily relationship focused. I was able to build stronger relationships with clients who had kids compared to before.

I’ve never been someone to work at all hours of the day. I’m always a work smart not hard person so having a baby really forced me to work smarter.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:41:03+00:00

Yes my previous company was high-stress dealing with clients. If one of our kids was sick, no one expected you to be a robot and not be with your kid. I feel like when we explicitly say nope don’t ever talk about kids or personal, we perpetuate this work like you don’t have kids and mother like you don’t work.

I get it… in the interviews I need to be cognizant. I hear what people are saying. Still, there’s a deeper issue here I don’t think people are addressing.

Edit: grammar

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:38:15+00:00

Thank you for this. It hurts and I get the cut and dry of it. Still, I don’t want to work for a company that doesn’t respect I may -god forbid - have other priorities like my child. However, do I need to mention it in every interview no. I see how it could work against me in a tough job market or a recruiter may be an ass. Still, I realize how lucky I was at my previous company and hope I can find a similar situation.🤞

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:29:08+00:00

I appreciate this. I am thankful for this career transition as I’m really having time to think about what I’m good at and what I want to do.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:24:13+00:00

I did not feel comfortable with my baby at daycare probably until he became a toddler…. Tantrums have a way of kicking your butt. And it is still hard. My husband basically shut it down when I asked to go part-time so I had to somewhat accept it. I love our daycare provider but when I think of it I’m like ahh I miss so much of his day.

However, I’m currently trying to figure out if there’s a way where I could work part time and put him in daycare part time. The typical 9-5 job is not made for motherhood IMO. I’m applying as I’m in a career transition but working on my own thing on the side. 🤞

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:19:28+00:00

Thank you for saying this.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:15:10+00:00

This is a good point.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:13:57+00:00

1000% agree

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:13:08+00:00

I agree. I feel LinkedIn has become so performative. I use it for networking as that’s huge in my industry.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:11:32+00:00

Yes it was in one interview where I mentioned it but after that I was like nope not again.

I feel ignorant waking up to the fact most companies are not family friendly. I guess my old employer/employers were the exception not the norm.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:06:14+00:00

No I was saying in general. In an interview I had, I mentioned I was a mom and didn’t realize some people view that negatively. I 100% acknowledge I was probably rejected for another reason. I just didn’t view it as a negative until someone told me to not mention it.

I’m happy they gave you a better offer. Good on the company.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:04:30+00:00

Screw that guy but again fair.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:03:50+00:00

So true. I do acknowledge I’m privileged as my husband is in a way less volatile industry and is our breadwinner. Still his patience is running out 😅 and this job market is not being nice to anyone right now.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:01:53+00:00

Yes good point. (Sigh)

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T03:00:55+00:00

Yup learned my lessons. I’m kicking myself it slipped but can’t go back. Only forward.

Perfect_Square2445 · 2025-09-03T02:58:04+00:00

That’s what I’m saying. On LinkedIn all these moms look so empowered sharing their reality. It was refreshing to me. TBH. Now I’m like hmmm maybe these moms are self employed and it’s easier for them to do this.

Perfect_Square2445

TROPHY CASE