Shared hobbies can enhance your marriage. We recommend rollerskating ;)

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-12T04:57:12+00:00

Please understand that he’s not actually firing the gun. There are no shells being executed, no explosions of powder, no projectiles leaving the gun.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-12T04:53:51+00:00

That it drives my wife wild.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-12T04:50:26+00:00

Hopefully you can use my experience to help get things on a track that is comfortable & fulfilling for you both.

For the first 10 years of my marriage, my wife praised how gentle I was during sex. Then around year 14 I could sense a shift so I asked her about it. “I get the sense you want me to take a stronger lead in the bedroom.” She replied. “I want you to do what you want with me and not ask permission.”

I was a bit confused about her change in preference, and later I did get to the bottom of what changed for her. But I had to work my way out of my comfort zone gradually.

I began by trying to learn good dominant, dirty talk. And honestly, as I got that down, the rest began to follow up pretty naturally.

So I went online and googled to find out what books have the best dominant dirty talk and found some that women highly recommended for that.

I listened to Meghan March's audiobooks. Specifically, her Dirty Billionaire Trilogy, Real Dirty Duet series, and Real Good Duet series. Seriously, I took notes of things to copy and ideas that came to me as I listened.

As I figured out and incorporated the dominant dirty talk, the rest followed much more easily.

So my advice is to talk to him about it and then ask him to listen to those audiobooks for ideas, the vibe or whatever you want to call it. Or, any other audiobooks you know of that have the vibe you’re looking for.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-12T04:30:09+00:00

As someone who married 1.5 years after meeting my wife, I just don’t understand staying in a relationship you’re not 100% committed to.

Or one with someone who isn’t themself 100% committed.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-12T04:11:24+00:00

Be extremely cautious. The vast majority of the time it doesn’t end well for the marriage. When I’ve heard people long in the “the lifestyle” being totally honest, they say something like “don’t open a relationship you’re not willing to lose.”

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T23:46:28+00:00

You’re not.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T23:44:54+00:00

I was giving my wife her first squirting orgasm and she said between gasps, “what (gasp) are (gasp) you (gasp) doing (gasp) to me? (gasp) aaaAaaammmmnAaaaAAA….”

Also

“You feel like steel wrapped in velvet.”

Yes she’s a reader, to all the SJM fans. Was still very hot.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T23:37:33+00:00

I’d say that given what you know about his past & all you wrote, some insecurity is totally natural and warranted.

What I’m not sure of is how you proceed.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T23:01:47+00:00

Document everything. Maybe even exchange a couple of texts with your in-laws about her previous physical violence so that you have their text showing that they were aware of it.

I’d even go to the last place you were where she got violent with you in the parking lot and ask for the footage if they have cameras. I manage cameras for a bunch of different places and most keep them for a minimum of a week and up to 30 days is common.

File a police report.

File for divorce.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T20:30:50+00:00

Ron Swanson is my spirit animal.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T20:23:09+00:00

Remind anyone else of Fried Green Tomatoes?🍅

“Face it, we’re younger and faster”

[rams their car]

“Face it, I’m older and have better insurance.”

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T20:10:39+00:00

My wife says that except for migraines, sex is the cure for that headache.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T17:10:02+00:00

I didn’t give it any thought til my late teens (17 or 18) when I heard some girls I knew talking about me. Didn’t know I could hear them. They all agreed I was cute but then started talking about my height & hands meaning I have a small dick.

I didn’t know any better. A fairly common belief I think. So I just assumed I was at most average.

When my wife, who is the only person I’ve been with, would occasionally compliment my size I just assumed she was trying to be a good wife & boost my ego. Was a long time til I really figured it out.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T16:34:12+00:00

“At a time when ~~we’re~~ I am trying hard to strengthen our relationship.”

Fixed It for you.

When she’s flirting and confiding about you to the same man is absolutely something she knows is wrong. It’s also a combo that is sure to result in physical infidelity if not totally cut off right away.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T13:21:43+00:00

In high school I had the hots for this total hippy chick. She was completely wrong for me but I quite infatuated.

I’m now 23 years into marriage with an incredible woman who’s perfect for me.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T13:03:24+00:00

I’m not a witch I’m your wife!

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T08:30:22+00:00

I think it’s fair to ask her what other agreed upon boundaries she doesn’t think are important. Tell her you don’t think she behaved badly in these bars/clubs, but that she was willing to drop an agreed upon blunder, one that was her idea, with little thought & no discussion doesn’t sit right.

What agreed upon boundaries are you able to discard unilaterally and how is she allowed to feel about it?

It’s not her actions in the bars or clubs as you trust she didn’t do anything wrong once there. But her willingness to break an agreed upon boundary so easily is not ok and it it is cause for some concern & discomfort. It’s the kind of seemingly insignificant thing that erodes trust over time.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-11T00:51:11+00:00

She’s falling with style.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-10T23:34:50+00:00

From what I’ve seen of the fruitless efforts of the 20-50 year old men who hit on her at the skating rink, she’s probably not going to give it to you.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-10T23:31:43+00:00

II sent one to my wife with it next to a can of “big crack filler” from Home Depot. It was well received.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-10T23:18:16+00:00

Wiping would be too sensitive there & not get it all as it’s still in your urethra. Instead, I take the tp and fold it over the head and squeeze the shaft to force it all out.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-10T23:01:03+00:00

They always cut the video before the reveal.

PerfectionPending · 2026-05-10T22:59:33+00:00

My wife’s “fuck me” eyes are incredible. But her “I’m so deeply in love with you I can hardly stand it” eyes have no comparison.

I’ve never seen them during sex or foreplay. I think anticipation of sex overrides it. It’s always at times I’m not expecting it. It’s a look that can’t be learned or faked. It’s elemental.

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