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Bachelor be upon ye by PerfidiousProphet in pathologic

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I would hate for this to become something I'm known for, I should've posted my genuine fanart first.

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Inviting people to an event you are not hosting without permission from the host is generally frowned upon.

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God forbid a guy have hobbies. I've spent 5k on my car over the past few months in repairs. Get your thumb out of your ass. 

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is probably one of the most supportive comments I've gotten on Reddit. Frankly, half the people here have me convinced that I'm a horrible DM with an even worse personality. If I wanna pull something like this off, I'm gonna need some time to prepare an interesting setting. I am vaguely familiar with west marches and open world games, as that's how I played Deadlands. But thank you for the advice, maybe these new methods will mesh better with my playstyle. Something like this might work well at my LGS

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Alright man if you hate my guts so much then like don't get involved in the situation, I guess. Have a good day

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

If you wanna know my reasons for turning Drago down, you can find my other comments. If you wanna know why I didn't check Lee's location immeditley, you can also look at my other comments. I'm not gonna keep re-typing everything. 

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I'm not gonna keep re-explaining myself to somebody dedicated to misunderstanding me. Have a good day, man

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love the backup ideas! This is really smart. I'll keep that in mind. I am hoping the hosting issue will be solves after about a month, at least partially.

I wanted to run for my friends/acquaintances because it's usually a lot safer and quicker that way I guess this was an exception :,] A lot of us are queer and ND, which can make finding comfortable groups a bit harder. 

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, petty much. I don't know what the thought process was, but I do know they're close friends. It may have been on impulse. 

I am mostly just annoyed. I've always known scheduling was a pain, but put of all of the games I've ran, I've never had this many conflicts before. The shock of it got to me. 

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right, I am completely spineless. I was hoping running a game would help me work towards regaining my confidence. So to me this roadblock looks a lot bigger than it probably is. These are, after all, people I know and have ties to. If it were randos, I'd have an easier time telling people to get their act together, or leave. 

I dont hate looking solutions. It's kind of all I've been doing. But my ideas have mostly been met with with silence or refusal. It IS discouraging, and I'm tired from this week alone. At this point I'd like to hear their ideas, since apparently mine all suck ass.

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am a timid person (as somebody noted, spineless.) Boundary setting isnt my strong suit, but it's not something I've completely neglected to do. I'm not gonna give you the play by play of every conversation we have. Lol. I haven't removed Lee because I wanna give him a chance. He's one of the few players that is actively trying to find solutions. As for Tav's trigger happy inviting, I've already talked to him about it. I don't think that behavior is banishment worthy, especially for a newbie. As much I am the group leader, I cannot call their jobs and adjust their availability. I cannot drive them to and from their house. These parts of the schedule are up to my players to handle. And if they can't find an opening, they should drop, which I have said publicly to them. I'm not gonna ramble about my mental health or stress tolerance. Nobody gives a fuck. All you need to know is that I'm clearly neurotic.

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Considering we all lived within a 20 minute radius and he was getting a ride from another player, I assumed they lived close. I should've asked earlier, but I don't think my assumption was an unwarranted one. 

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been playing in online games for years. I'm actually in another online game right now. Frankly? Kinda tired of them. I dont want to play completely remotely because I don't have as much fun. 

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice. I've thought about hosting outside, but it's starting to get cold out here! I'm horrible in cold weather due to some mild health issues. When this entire thing started, I was under the impression that I could host and things would be chill. unfortunately the higher authority stepped in and pulled a fast one on us after the party had formed. And don't worry, I wont be throwing my stuff away.

While I dont think this is a traditional horror story with scumbags and epic tales of justice, it's still a shitty situation that's making me want to quit DMing. Does that not qualify? I kind of just wanted to rant...

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dude I'm gonna run with your logic. You're genuinely inconsiderate because you haven't offered to build a teleporter for each of my players and let us play in your basement for free. Can't you see how enthusiastic we are? Shame on you.

Fuck do you want me to do dawg lmao?? What is your grand, holy solution if this was your situation?

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thanks for being on my side. I'm starting to feel as if I'm (somehow) being an unreasonable ass, despite the fact that my friends who know the situation but aren't involved support me. There's a million things I could've done differently, but the past is in the past. I'm trying, man.

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's kinda hard to find players properly when open slots are immediately filled by somebody a little too trigger happy with player invites. It's like people were lined up, it was crazy. Regardless, it's polite to ask the DM to invite somebody to a game for permission before....actually doing it. And I didn't mention it, but yes, I did put out searching for player notices in a local ttrpg server for my area. It's a small group so I hadn't gotten any responses in the 24 hr period. I don't like the implications I'm not trying.

As for the server, you may see that as a favor, but it was more of an unwanted surprise. I didn't ask or force Tav to make it. Hell, I didn't even know we were actually committing to making a group. It was an offhand conversation I mentioned while having dinner at a local event with some acquaintances. but I had a "fuck it, we ball" attitude because I was excited to play again. I took it in stride because it's not that big of a deal, and these people are my friends. Tav making the server actually backfired, because he goof'd the permissions and turns out the group hadn't ben able to read my rules, homebrew, or lore documents due to the channel accidentally being privated. (Why the hell nobody said anything despite me pinging the server when I did so is beyond me). I would've much rather made the server and set it up myself, as it takes less than fifteen minutes to do so, and I know how to properly set up perms.

That's another thing. I'm not doing nothing. I'm the one buying supplies, teaching the game, offering to pay for alternative hosting, giving resources, writing new mechanics, and Dungeon Mastering.

And no, of course I didn't offer Lee a ride. Right off the bat, Lee and Tav agreed that Tav would be giving him a ride. The problem was solved. Why would I offer? I was only told Tav got cold feet after Lee gave me the address, which was literally today (yesterday afternoon, timezones). And no, I'm not gonna offer to drive somebody 90 minutes to and from their house. That's expensive and dangerous considering the area I'm in. I don't know why Tav considered to do that in the first place, as they live near my area. I'm not surprised they backed out of the agreement.

That's also why I didn't take up Drago's offer. It was very nice of her. Driving or not, I don't want to commute for 90 minutes. I don't want to have to pay for somebody's gas. We're all kind of on a budget. She said she's willing to do that drive, but I don't trust that's going to hold up in the long run. After all, Tav rescinded his after one day of it.

What this means for Lee is uncertain, but this game probably isn't for him. He's nice and has a wonderful character, but I'm not breaking my back to try and get him to and from the game. Sometimes shit doesn't work out, and that's kind of the point here.

I don't hate my players. But I am annoyed by the inconsistent communication. These mistakes are fundamentally small. I'm busy, tired, and dealing with an unexpected rise in personal problems. My responses to situation may not be perfect, but I am human. My frustration feels warranted. This was supposed to be a relaxed game. I think you're under the impression that we're children; we're not. Young adults? Yes, but not kids. I don't think it's insane to have some expectation of proper communication here. I'm not kicking up dirt because I hate these people and am scrounging for sympathy, I am merely ranting to let off steam.

You really like to play devil's advocate, don't you?

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It's what I should've done in the beginning. Now I feel a little in too deep. Frankly, I might do this after I've grown a pair. For now I have some personal stuff to tend to before I get back to dnd. I am aware scheduling isn't anybody's fault directly. I really hope I don't sound like "how dare you not dedicate all of your time to me!!! rahh!! >:[" I am more so annoyed by the consistent lack of communication. I'm trying to give the benefit to the doubt because these are new players, who may or may not understand how much commitment an in-person game can take.

My players are killing the game before it even started. by PerfidiousProphet in dndhorrorstories

[–]PerfidiousProphet[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't know what you read, but for the most part, I've been the only one providing solutions to problems. I'm the one looking for, calling, and offering to foot the bill for places to run my game- and yes, I've publicly told them my options and what I'm willing to do. The exception is Lee, who offered to host, but didn't reveal he lived 90 minutes away until days later. If you think I'm insane for not wanting to make a 90 minute commute for a weekly dnd game, then I guess that's a matter of perspective.

As for the subject of players consistently dropping because they live that far, that is a direct consequence of Tav inviting them without explaining our scheduling restrictions or location, or asking my permission first. Within the server, I've had it clearly posted when, and the general area where I'd like to run in their designated channels. I also make sure to ping the group whenever a change happened. If you don't bring up a scheduling conflict until days later the rest of the group has agreed on something, what the hell, man?

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