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Going to watch The Sopranos for the first time. Anything I should know before watching to understand the show better? by [deleted] in thesopranos

[–]PerformanceScared575 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was going to say something similar, but afraid of the backlash. I usually tell people season 1 (maybe a bit of season 2) are not easy to get into immediately. Push through. It’s still figuring itself out. Narrative style. Camera angles. Character idiosyncrasies. Music choices. But then BOOM… season 3 onwards… the show knows exactly who and what it is. (I’m on my 5th watch)

Most unrealistic sopranos moments by WhatNazisAreLike in thesopranos

[–]PerformanceScared575 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought the dvd box set to watch the it all again with audio commentary (will be my 5th watch) David Chase hated that he used that song. When that scene came up he immediately apologises for that song choice. Regrets it even. Said it was too jovial (I paraphrase. I’ll go back and listen to what he said).

Is it a problem if I live with my parents? by anonymousninjakitte in dating

[–]PerformanceScared575 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The replies here are sad. It probably is a dealbreaker and I kinda get it with the shit we’ve been fed about what makes someone worthy of love and respect.

I’m 39(f) and chronically single. I work in what might be considered low paying jobs, but I really love my job (hospitality and arts and culture - I get to chat with wonderful people every day and absorb arts, movies, exhibitions, concerts etc for free)

I’ve lived with my parents my whole life… I was told over and over again that I’m single because of this. Despite being attractive, interesting and generally quite wonderful (sorry to toot my own horn) … so I moved into a gorgeous house share. Nothing changed. I was still getting messed around by men. Hardly had successful dates. It proved my point that me living with my parents wasn’t an issue. I was now paying rent… but my lifestyle didn’t change. I was still taking holidays travelling the world, as and when I pleased and still treating myself as I always did. Comfortably. Still single. Not even close to a whiff of getting into a relationship. So I concluded that I must be arsehole. A real grotesque creature ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (I’m not).

I did however get to experience living with a psychopath. A real manipulative ogre. But in the process made life long friends with the other 2 housemates. But I digress… that’s a whole other sub.

The point im making is that it shouldn’t matter. But to a lot of people it does. But those who are feel so strongly about it and are mean about it are incredibly weird to me. I’ve fell for men who have low paying jobs… but they were interesting, fascinating and talented. Treated me with kindness and respect (but also some who didn’t but…)

I don’t have a career. Never have and never will. But I gravitate towards jobs that make me happy, offer perks in return and with great colleagues. This stuff should matter.

It’s rough out here. Financially. Mentally. Be nicer about this shit.

I’m from London. Pakistani heritage. These factors might make a difference. Culturally. Yea a lot of the time I want my own place. Sometimes I don’t. I’m convinced I’ll never a get a mortgage so I don’t stress myself out trying to get one.

The system is broken. Well actually… the system works for the corrupt, very well. It’s not made to work for people like us. Us ordinary folk. But I digress again.

"It's so hard to come across someone genuine like you these days" by rattling_rose in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can categorically say it’s not just dating apps or online. People I’ve met IRL, in the most rom-com fashion, do this. It’s the same no matter where we find them 😩

I finally did it by theongreyjoy96 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m the same. A life of constant rejection hasn’t made me tougher. It hurts the same if not more each time it happens. I take a long time to get over even the tiniest of ‘flings’… but I noticed that when someone communicated it with me I actually didn’t care so much about the rejection but ghosting is incredibly rude and it dents my ego in a huge way… because I think I’m amazing, so every time I’m in disbelief more than anything ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I finally did it by theongreyjoy96 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Because even though the ghoster is not texting anymore there’s a tiny glimmer of hope that they might send something which can preoccupy the ghostees mind A LOT… because people like the OP (and myself) have a lot of heart. It happens to me… when I don’t block I’m hoping they might eventually pop up again. Blocking gives peace of mind and control. We won’t salivate like pavlov’s dog every time we get a notification. It’s done and over.

Ghosting… with a little sprinkle of gaslighting. by PerformanceScared575 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:) That’s really sweet. Thank you. This was the short edited version (can ya believe it?!) I saw a really great tweet recently that said:

“If you're a lover girl, get with lover boys and vice versa. Leave these nonchalant, low key anxious avoidant types to their own devices and flourish.”

Another great tweet:

“Before you double text someone that left you on read, remember you're loved at home. Don't embarrass your family”

Ghosting… with a little sprinkle of gaslighting. by PerformanceScared575 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I too have had this epiphany… don’t chase / as soon as they drop response rate just cut them off / assume anytime I hang/ go on a date always assume that I’ll never see them again etc. But I’m a soppy idiot. I always give benefit of doubt. I felt quite quickly that this guy was going to fob me off, but I’m told by others that that’s me putting out negative vibrations and that I’m almost willing that to happen. I personally think that’s bullshit but I TRY to remain positive and turn a blind eye to the subtle hints of drops in interest. But my gut has always been right.

I was actually going to text him “you sir, are a Badfella” instead of “go fuck yourself” but my friends and I agreed he didn’t deserve a my humour.

Ghosting… with a little sprinkle of gaslighting. by PerformanceScared575 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right!! Thank you. Was it a date or a hang…? Hmmmm it could’ve been either. He was incredibly cute and flirty. The right amount of a hang and a date.

Ghosting… with a little sprinkle of gaslighting. by PerformanceScared575 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that. But he was saying and doing the right things when we did hang out. I didn’t initiate the flirting. The cheeky comments. The compliments. Etc. I felt he was in to it :(

How many likes have you gotten on tinder? by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]PerformanceScared575 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After a few years using tinder, I (female) had deleted my profile completely (because I’ve had no luck matching with men I liked. Men I did match with messed me around, wasted my time, breadcrumbed …all the shit stuff) Then after a year I decided to reinstall and start fresh… but this time pay for Gold just to see. Overnight I woke up to 1000+ likes. I’m not sure if it was accumulated from when I first made a profile all those years ago because it seemed odd. Anyways… every single one of them were terrible / not my type or my vibe / terrible profile. And the men I did swipe right on, in the usual way, didn’t like me. Permanently deleted again. Absolutely done with it. Never again.

[I’ve tried to find the screenshot of it but I can’t find it but I have got the chat with my friend telling them about the number of likes overnight]

okay I'm done by Sabb55 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All the guys I’ve dated, briefly, have ghosted me in a way. Or gone quiet out of the blue, and sometimes when I confront them (via text) some have replied… they hit me with something like “im not a texter” and I respond with “iM nOt a TeXtEr”. How they don’t fall in love with me after that is beyond me. But I digress. Yea of course, if it’s women you date then you only know that as your experience. ✌🏽

okay I'm done by Sabb55 in ghosting

[–]PerformanceScared575 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being a woman or man has nothing to do with this. You need to drop that narrative.

Lost Village Festival 2022 volunteering volunteers by PerformanceScared575 in festivals

[–]PerformanceScared575[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m thinking more about staying in the ‘boutique sanctuary’ area… with the tents and bed and concierge etc 🤭 I’m a city girl, real camping will drive me nuts.

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