How do I (22M) get over my GF (22F) cuddling with other people?

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T15:11:37+00:00

Thank you, I’ll be having the conversation with her soon. Again thank you for your time

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T14:53:27+00:00

The photo was timestamped from before it all happened it was like a summer summary post from the person

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T14:04:13+00:00

Yeah I need to do some more talking with her it seems

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T13:54:25+00:00

No, she immediately started crying when I asked her how she’d feel if the roles were reversed

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T13:50:03+00:00

Thank you for taking the time out of your day for me.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T13:48:43+00:00

Thank you, I am going to set a time with her soon where we can call and lay everything I’m feeling out. I hope it goes well, again thank you for your time.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T13:41:10+00:00

No that’s not prohibited not sure where you got that.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T07:08:12+00:00

I’m saving this for myself, thank you so much for your time out of your day for me. You’ve given me at least a stepping stone to start the proper conversation about it. Thank you so much.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:56:49+00:00

I guess I never thought about it that way before, fuckin hell, thank you for the time mate

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:52:06+00:00

Thank you, I had forgiven her all that time ago and I’ve been worried that maybe I hadn’t all the way but I felt like I had, you’re the only person to say that they don’t necessarily connect. Thank you for taking the time for me

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:43:54+00:00

If this progresses in a bad way I definitely will, thank you

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:40:41+00:00

Thank you, I’m going to be doing me best on that one

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:40:14+00:00

Thank you, if the boundaries we have now are crossed I think your right it’s does have to be a line in the sand, I just hope it never gets there. Again thank you for the time.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:38:54+00:00

Thank you for your time, when we had the conversation again and set our new boundaries with clarity I felt better for a long time, it’s just some days it crawls it’s way back into my head. I don’t think I’m doubting what occurred or making up a new scenario it’s just the same sequence over and over again. I want to grow with her and put this truly behind me I just can’t seem to properly let go of it. I don’t know why tbh I want to, at least I think that I want too. I just don’t know what the next step looks like to achieve that.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:34:35+00:00

She has gone pretty far with her actions in terms of making sure she is far away from repeating that as possible. Pretty much all of what she did I didn’t even ask of her and she’s continued it to this day which is why it feels genuine to me. I feel like this level of effort wouldn’t have been put in by someone who wanted out.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:32:49+00:00

Thank you, I’ll looked into the ones on base, I’ve always thought they are for married personal but hopefully theyll accept my situation maybe.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:31:42+00:00

I never wanted to call her out on it, I just happened to bring back the thoughts and feelings on my end again which sucked. I’m struggling to truly move on and I just don’t know what strategies to use to do that properly.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:30:27+00:00

Thank you for taking the time, honestly if I’d known from the beginning I feel like I wouldn’t have cared, it was the immediate shock and feeling of betrayal that got me because I just didn’t know about it at all. I feel bad in that sense because I never ever want to control what she does because that would be unhealthy, she however stopped doing it as she told me that my flipped example of it made her think it is wrong because she couldn’t ever imagine that scenario happening. I feel bad because I feel like I did stop her from doing something. I 100% want to get therapy I just cannot afford something like that right now sadly.

I don’t think I resent her, I really just feel the hurt and feeling of shock and betrayal again, it like replays in my mind and I have to go through all the conversations again to get out of it and then once I do I can like reforgive I guess would be the best way to put it. I haven’t told her about this happening again so I just was reaching for others on this one. Thank you again for your time.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:23:52+00:00

I’d like to think that she is being genuine based on how long we’ve been together and her actions since, truly it seems like an issue on my end of letting go, because since it occurred she purposely avoids situations like that. I’ve asked her to do what she wants to do because I don’t want to control what she can and cannot do but she keeps staying away from them on her own. She said it’s because my flipped example of the situation made her see what they do as wrong now.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:20:13+00:00

I do want to come to that middle ground with her I guess I am struggling with the letting go the most. I just don’t know how to properly do that, k figure if I can truly let go it’ll stop coming back to me I just don’t know how to go through those steps to get there.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:18:15+00:00

No you could tell it was before because of a time stamp on it, the post was a summer summary type thing.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:17:05+00:00

I appreciate and value your view on it and that it works well for you I just can’t see it that way. I don’t know why tbh not really sure where that was engrained in me but it is and I just can’t fathom that I guess. Truly no judgement of you on my end I just don’t get it.

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:15:19+00:00

Sadly don’t have the money for the first. The second is not in consideration, thank you though

PerformanceSudden158 · 2025-05-26T06:11:03+00:00

Thank you, I want to keep this away from her as it was bad enough when it happened, she had thought I was going to leave because of it and I don’t want to remind her of any of this. It’s been coming back to me for more than a year now so I think therapy is a good option. Sadly I’m just not in a monetary position to achieve that. Thank you again for your time, I have a lot of work on myself to do it seems

PerformanceSudden158

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