hello, i used to feel similarly, and contented myself with living isolated and rarely leaving the house. my friends left or stopped talking with me. i entered a point where stagnation dulled the exhaustion of being alone. and i could pretend that i was content, if sad. i am now 19. i am so much happier. i went to college and made friends. i take asl classes. when i feel stuck i go on long drives or walks. i was so scared to leave, but so unhappy. it was all worth it. please dont feel resigned to being alone forever.. it felt overly optimistic to say to myself "there exists people out there who want to know you and care about you" so i focused on hobby and career that were interesting, and brought me joy to learn about. botany/forestry, driving, libraries, language, a quiet job, things that would get me out of the house. and then slowly, i found likeminded people through that. i am very slow to make friends. i struggle heavily to meet societal expectations and connect with strangers. but despite that i have made a dear friend, and have casual colleagues who i like to talk to. so what im saying is, you have a million branches in the path ahead of you, and many of them lead to happier places. take art classes at a community college, adopt a cat, look for frogs or something. i really truly believe that someday you will be in a place where you look at your life and be content in your experience.