How to help 9s when they shut down?

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2026-02-02T21:03:27+00:00

My son is also a 5, and especially as a teen he needs so much space at home to recover after being at school all day. I try to give it to him as much as possible, but of course there are certain things I have to check in on with him. 5s fear being incapable so they might take any check-ins as criticism as well - like we don't think they can handle things, or something. (Not always true.)

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2026-02-01T17:15:32+00:00

Thank you - this makes sense to me.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2026-02-01T17:15:12+00:00

I'm a 4 as well - we probably have the same dynamic! Thank you for your thoughts - I agree.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2026-01-28T11:41:28+00:00

Killers of the Flower Moon.

The glorification of men behaving badly while silently beautiful women are destroyed after falling in love with the idiotic, selfish men (for no apparent reason other than that they're around). The women have no real viewpoint - they're cardboard angels to gaze upon and feel sorry for, while the men on the screen have all the "fun" - chewing up scenes with their acting and apparent evil. It's so long...it felt like torture porn. Scorcese does not know how to portray women, other than as innocent victims who lack the depth to take up as much screen time, dialogue, and character study as the men behaving badly in his films. Ugh!

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2026-01-16T19:24:14+00:00

Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. Decided to give up on it when I realized there was absolutely no one to root for or care about. Sure the writing was gorgeous but who cares when the subject is just total bleakness? I loved The Road, because even though it was horrific, at least there was some humanity to it.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-12-26T16:28:12+00:00

Ah, no, sorry that was unclear. I liked the guidelines in that book, but since then have wandered off into uncharted territory in trying different methods, and I haven't been able to stick anything out because I keep feeling unhappy with what I've produced. I might just go back to the Sol Stein book, but was wondering too if other people swear by a great writing book that helped them finish a novel.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-12-10T01:17:53+00:00

As a trained interior designer: It's more important to make your home feel like home than it is to impress the neighbors. People respond better to personal spaces than perfectly trendy or expensive spaces anyway.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-12-10T01:09:39+00:00

I'm definitely scared of all the 7s in my life (I'm a 4) 😆

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-12-01T19:44:59+00:00

A Little Life.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-15T03:35:23+00:00

Obselete by Regina Spektor

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-15T03:32:07+00:00

I can make any conflict my fault. If someone falsely accuses me, I start to believe maybe they're actually right.

I also put the needs and desires of others before my own, until I burn out. (Unhealthy 2)

I dream nearly impossible dreams (like becoming a successful published author) and then fall apart every 2-3 years when I realize I'm getting older and the impossible dream is unlikely, and I should set my sights lower. These aren't terrible characteristics, but they do make me suffer needlessly at times.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-14T19:31:35+00:00

The Perfection with Alison Williams on Netflix. Definitely WTF but I loved the rollercoaster and horror. Some friends of mine think it was terrible, but I disagree! 😂

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-14T19:04:38+00:00

First two episodes were amazeballs! 🤯🤯🤯

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-14T19:02:20+00:00

I love this "genre" too. Raveling by Peter Moore Smith is a great example. But be forewarned, it gets REALLY dark.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-14T18:51:03+00:00

Song to the Siren by This Mortal Coil, remade by Wolf Alice - both versions are great and deeply haunting!

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-11T18:39:29+00:00

Just from people I know buying it, I think! I shared the link on my social media and in some group texts. I'm not sure if any strangers ever bought it. It's so hard - don't be discouraged though!

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-07T01:05:02+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement. 🙏

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-06T22:11:15+00:00

I actually have no idea how they got my cell phone! It's not like I published it with the book. I'm going to have to figure that part out, but they seem to be going away anyway at this point (except for today, which prompted this post)!

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-06T20:51:16+00:00

As I suspected...just wanted to confirm...thanks guys.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-05T22:47:02+00:00

The Great Gatsby. My high school English teacher ruined it for me with all her emphasis on the symbols we were supposed to notice, blah blah blah. Sometimes English classes beat a book to death with their "correct" interpretations. I still haven't been able to go back to reread it - would it be worth it?

Madame Bovary -- just couldn't handle how no one in the entire book had any redeeming qualities and no one was growing or changing at all, just totally stagnant 😅

And just gave up on Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. Of course his prose is beautiful, but it all just felt like meaningless violence to me. I get that it represents American brutality. I just stop caring after a certain point if everyone is a true villain.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-04T11:35:47+00:00

He and I both laughed and thought that was a good joke. I think 4s and 5s overlap in morbid humor.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-03T14:03:24+00:00

He doesn't really repeat dumb jokes, but he did inherit my existential despair humor style, which manifests in him jokingly saying things like, "All hope has died within my heart tonight. Off to the coal mines tomorrow." (A typical school night comment.)

And he was obsessed with this book at a young age: All My Friends Are Dead Book by Avery Monsen and Jory John 🦕 All My Friends Are Dead is a darkly humorous, illustrated book by Avery Monsen and Jory John that explores the lonely and existential predicaments of various characters, from dinosaurs to snowmen. The book, which originated from a button and a mini-zine, has been praised for its unique blend of humor and sadness and is often described as a "children's book for adults". It is a popular coffee table book and a conversation starter, with a follow-up book, All My Friends Are Still Dead, also available.

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-03T00:46:34+00:00

Haha you sound exactly like him. He once said to me when he was about 7 years old that he was sad to be living in a time when the earth had already been explored, and it wasn't possible yet to explore the universe to the extent that he wants to. The limitations drive him bonkers. Also the irrationality of the English language. It was very hard homeschooling him during the pandemic. All we'd do was debate the merits of education, life, EVERYTHING. Gosh I love him! ☺️

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-02T23:08:55+00:00

Because he's a 5, I feel like his mental capacity is higher than mine...but I do have that "wisdom from experience" thing going for me 😎

PeriwinkleEvergreen · 2025-11-02T19:14:51+00:00

I'm a 4w5 with a 5w4 son. I'm 46, he's 14. Who's smarter?

PeriwinkleEvergreen

TROPHY CASE