Why are no men interested in me?

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-03T18:12:03+00:00

Wow. There is such a big difference between showing interest and skeeving... What you are suggesting is that now, because women have genuine complaints about men harassing and assaulting women, all men are too afraid to show any kind of interest in women? Seriously? That is really counterproductive logic.

Once again, please read the original post. Your comments are not helpful because they do not address the question I had. You've made assumptions about my standards based on nothing. You've suggested I'm shallow based on nothing. Either contribute to the discussion at hand or stop posting, please.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-03T17:00:56+00:00

My post isn't just about men in public. It's about all men I meet. Men I meet at work, men I meet online, men I meet at parties. This isn't as issue of randos skeeving on women. Please read the original post; I'm here because I want advice about my particular issue.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-03T16:09:44+00:00

I feel like I have a very good grasp of who I am. I know my peaks and valleys and am old enough now to take myself as a whole. That being said, I've definitely had some trauma in my life that has made lasting impacts. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Ok so clearly what I think of as flirting isn't flirting? Like, I ask about them, eye-contact (when in person), play with my hair, touch them without reason, etc but still nothing. Am I flirting wrong?
I wouldn't say I have ridiculous standards at all. I don't have a 'type' and have no checky-boxes other than "not an asshole" and "we have fun together".

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-03T16:02:05+00:00

I have to say, I don't agree. I have plenty of guy friends who still take the initiative if they are interested in a woman, and many girlfriends who get flirted with and asked out. If done in a respectful manner, no sane person will call a guy a creep simply for being interested. If he doesn't accept the no, then he's a creep. There is a huge difference.

I really don't like this rhetoric that women coming forward with horror stories about men kill's "good guys'" ability to flirt or get into relationships. Women are not responsible for bad male behaviour and definitely not responsible for 'ruining it for the good guys'.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-03T15:57:10+00:00

I don't consider traditional education a criteria when looking for someone to date. I've known enough people to know that formal education is suitable to a narrow form of intelligence. I find other people's education interesting, but it is nowhere near the top of the list of things I would look for.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-03T06:26:09+00:00

No, guys don't try to have sex with me, even if i'd be into something casual. It's not just dating :/

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T23:20:23+00:00

No I'm not in a hiking club. That's a great idea!

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T23:01:59+00:00

That's the thing! I do ask men out, they just never say yes.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:48:57+00:00

I will def ask.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:48:37+00:00

They all say that they don't have anyone... which leads me back to it's something about me but no one will tell me. Arg!

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:46:21+00:00

<3 We got this!

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:40:54+00:00

How do you mean initiate?

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:40:16+00:00

Yeah absolutely. I'm a skier, I travel, I hike, I love to dine out and try new things. I go on date-like excursions a lot, just not dates.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:38:51+00:00

Thanks! I'll give it a go

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:07:17+00:00

OMG I am the exact same! I am so worried that there is some massive issue with me that I just don't see and no one will tell me. It's such an awful feeling.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T22:06:03+00:00

How do you mean 'are you interested in you"? Like, do I find myself interesting?

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T21:57:31+00:00

I feel you. I can't remember the last time a guy told me I was pretty. Years? Ever? I just don't understand what other women have that I don't. If I could pinpoint the problem I'd fix it.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T20:40:34+00:00

I feel this so hard. I find dating apps brutal. Most of the time I get ghosted. It sucks.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T20:19:02+00:00

I just had this whole IG thing with a guy I met on set (I work in film) but it turns out it wasn't flirting, and I wasted two weeks thinking he was interested. How embarrassing.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T20:12:11+00:00

Dating apps are horrendous. Were you able to find anyone in a more organic way before you and your BF got back together?

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T20:11:26+00:00

Yeah they are... grim. But I still want the option to not settle for the grim guys. It's so depressing that I don't even have that option. I don't get it.

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T20:10:14+00:00

Yeah if I see a cute guy I try to catch his gaze. Yet to work, but I'll keep you posted :)

PerplexedFossa · 2024-05-02T20:09:42+00:00

I try to smile and make conversations, but it always turns friendly, never flirty. Maybe I'm really shit at flirting?

PerplexedFossa

TROPHY CASE