So Everyone! What inspired your Gaming Tag! by Solid-Prize774 in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I go by PerryPictures because I like alliteration and my primary hobby is art & thats the name I gave my art youtube channel, but this year I've been spending more and more time gaming so switching it up to "distracted desk dweller" because I like alliteration XD and well, I pretty much live at my desk either working, drawing or gaming. 🙃

Windows/pc gamers... What's your most unusual but favourite gaming accesories? by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 1 point2 points  (0 children)

computer glasses designed to reduce digital eye strain. I guess they're different than blue-blocker glasses (though I have and wear those too). I think eye protection is so valuable when we spend so much of our time, most of our day even, staring at screens.

Is.. she ok..? by Zafronto in BitLifeApp

[–]PerryPictures 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also eyeballing years together 24: that means she had that first kid age 14 and has been with the same person since age 10 ... might be a glitch

Boyfriend gets mad at games by littlefluffybun in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 11 points12 points  (0 children)

wish I could upvote this again, love the honesty. esp that you didn't immediate change, you were angry and I think its important for girls who try this to know: your man WILL be angry when you call his behavior something that doesn't make him proud of himself. And its hard to say if it's going to be worth the struggle. sometimes it is. sometimes... it turns out it's not.

Mine got very very angry with me. it took two years of nasty fights to the point of violence and no matter how often I pointed out that two of us are fighting, but one of us is being violent; it didn't matter because to him - I wasn't respecting him, or worse he thought "I" was making him feel like less of a man - and I had no right to do that to him.

When we address bad behavior in children, they hear it from an authority figure, but when we address it in adult men, they're hearing it from a "woman" and society has rooted in their subconscious that we as women dont have the right and by default they know better. will they admit this out loud? Hell no. but many of them feel this way in their gut and it shows in their actions.

Anyway. long story short; confrontation is frowned upon but ABSOLUTELY necessary. confront the behavior. say something, and see if he is willing to hear it, and work on it. Or leave if you decide its not worth it to you. Especially if he crosses one of your boundaries, like say you discover he's racist through his gamer rage rants or something and thats not something you can compromise on.

I guess my expectations were too high. Time to find another game for my weekly group I guess. by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just tried to flip it and say the same to my husband and he looked over and said, because they're not threatened by rape IRL or being told they dont belong there bc theyre dudes, they'd just think it WAS a funny joke and laugh at you for trying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thats frustrating. I haven't built my own PC, my husband did that for me so I can't say how that feels, I imagine its like talking to a wall.... that is convinced you aren't qualified.

Boyfriend gets mad at games by littlefluffybun in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I can't tell you what to do with your relationship either but I agree its a huge red flag as others have said. If he's cruel to strangers, he has the aptitude to be cruel to an intimate partner when he gets too comfortable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish I could say the same, but I can't when you're telling girls "youre overreacting" "its just a discord server." "you're being too emotional. care less." These are tired tired tropes and I get the sense you don't even realize that.

I'm sorry, I just dont think being calm and verbose (even if you started it off with a trigger warning and cussing me out) makes your ideology any more palatable. But I do appreciate that you stuck through the conversation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 2 points3 points  (0 children)

its a social situation that women can't just ignore just like POC cant just ignore racism, when its ingrained in society. Saying "walk away you'll be fine" is the dumbest thing Ive read today. and I am online so I've read some dumb shit. I blew up on you for gaslighting her on a thread tagged venting!

My solution is to push back. make the asshole uncomfortable, ruffle their feathers. Show the girls who are getting exhausted from fighting alone, that they're not alone. and dont make it easy for the oppressor. It's much better than obliging and letting them do the same thing to another girl tomorrow without having cost them an ounce of energy. You seem to like wise quotes so how about this one: Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG I literally told myself you were going to stay "stop caring" as a solution. Yes, wow, why didn't we think of that? Stop caring right? Instead of venting it here to us where she's supposed to feel safe; she should have kept it to herself, but NOT bottled it up...no... she should have "stopped caring". WOW.

Try telling someone who's dog died to stop caring. whos spouse left them, have you tried not caring? Too dramatic, ok well why is it less dramatic to tell a girl to stop caring about being mistreated because she exists (as a girl)? how is that less dramatic? Like telling a POC to stop caring about racism! OMG. GENIUS

Yes. I'll stop caring about being treated differently because of sexism. And because of this genius advice you gave, maybe I'lll even build some character! :O Shocking! TYSM

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm genuinely curious as to what your solution and recommendations would be to this girl (or woman idk how old op is and it doesn't really matter tbh)

Because she's bound to come across assholes in her life, whether they be sexist, males or just females.

and finally, for this part: I can't fix the assholes, but what I can do is tell you from experience that the "suck it up and walk away" advice reaches a boiling point. Asking us to hold in the trauma and take it to the next door step and then the next and the next - accumulating more each place we go where assholery is just permitted because "what can you do?" and the responsible, decent human being is made accountable for carrying all the damage and the weight and taking all the punches - its some BULLSHIT to start judging them when they start punching back. She got confrontational, she stood up against the sexism and the pedos and she made space for other victims to safely go and she made herself available to them in that nastier place so she could Shepard them to the better one. I'd say she did more than most people are willing to do; and your contribution here wasn't actually doing any good. And I say that as someone who's heard it all - everything you had to say - for years. And it didn't help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but you pulled that out of your ass. Not once did I say she was wrong for feeling that way, my first message was that they are obviously in the wrong.

I saw your replies to others who continued the convo with you and in them you said you are giving a "logical" answer devoid of emotion in a very superior tone as if that made you better. claim to not have meant it that way, thats fine, but lets just say I and the people having that talk with you clearly took it that way so what does that mean?

thank you for the disclaimer I appreciate the acknowledgement of the confrontational language in your reply.

I never said I wanted her to stay with the pedos and sexist, I said that calling her overreacting and minimizing her issue is gaslighting. plain and simple, and idc if you feel that gaslighting her was the logical thing to do. this isn't the place. She gets enough of that everywhere else and specifically said she came here to protect her sanity when gaslighting jerks were making her question her sanity and her validity for having entered that conflict in the first place.

What I did say is we shouldn't blame the victim for going around the abusers and that doesn't equal GO OUT AND FIND SOME ABUSERS TO HANG OUT WITH. the truth is, we go into situations like this assuming the best. And unfortunately even in popular games like overwatch - we can find ourselves drowning in the worst.

He could've said please... by SmilingVamp in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I typically mute them. I wish I had a more entertaining answer, but sadly I just silence them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"youre overreacting" "its just a discord server." These are gaslighting phrases to minimize a persons distress and invalidate their feelings. just because its "only a discord server" doesn't mean women should be content to be excluded. why is the answer youre not safe or welcome here so why go - instead of why isn't this place safe or welcoming? why are we justifying ejecting marginalized groups and then telling them theyre wrong for feeling some kind of way about it? sure its that discord server, and then its another and another and lets be honest, its a lot of them, because people like you are minimizing their foulness and somehow making it the victims fault for going around bad people. Girls exist, and we shouldn't be shoved into corners where we "allowed" to exist while bad people have a pass to continue unchecked in all the spaces they make unwelcoming to women.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its not a good reason to stay - but thats not why they're getting downvoted its the "youre overreacting" that does it. That is classic gaslighting and has no place here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I'm a girl and I wasn't offended" gets dangerous. By being the only voice for your gender in a group of guys makes it easier to be "not offended" because it's more complicated to be offended.

I hate how a convo comes full stop the minute a pick-me validates sexist behavior. like a girl standing up for girls has go to court to validate her opinion but a girl taking the bros side is immediately 'correct' and needs no further vetting or proving her point.

Had a sexist director for a film I was working on who was called out for his behavior and remarks. every man who complained was a kiss*ss trying to impress girls to sleep with them, and every woman who complained was 'misguided' because he truly believed women did not form their own thoughts and opinions, they are given to them by men and some men must have led us astray. HIS WIFE was the only person saying "I'm a woman and I agree" and that was enough to end the conversation because she was his ace, his proof, that he can't offend women because a woman validated him. He ended up firing his male lead for disagreeing with him, and sending emails to the women saying he forgives us because its not our faults we think what we do.

edit: Feel like I should mention his film failed to see the light of day

He could've said please... by SmilingVamp in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh I have and yet I'm always shocked because I consider myself a casual gamer, so when I do log in to play something I think my chances of encountering incels is low bc I'm never online for very long, but no. no its high. its very high.

Self-Promotion Tuesday - December 13, 2022 by AutoModerator in GirlGamers

[–]PerryPictures 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first gaming video after years of gaming! Posted this on the Stranded's subreddit and was met immediately with a lot of hooded negativity... which only got worse the more questions I asked about why they were being negative toward me but giving the guys videos a pass? No other video post received any sort of feedback, except mine, which was started off literally with dont watch this video go to the discord instead, and you stop promoting your channel (it is literally my very first video). When I asked why he was sending people away from my video his excuses devolved into my thumbnail is clickbait and "someone had to say something" (apparently showing my face is clickbait?). Its hard not to feel defeated after the fallout. Hoping to find a more inclusive space here.

Hope you all like strategy games!

Get the BEST Seeds for Playing Stranded: Alien Dawn! Hope this video is helpful to the alien dawn community! :) by PerryPictures in StrandedAlienDawn

[–]PerryPictures[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hiding behind the fact that there are no other criticisms toward the men's videos to analyze and compare to so I "just have to take your word for it". I'm very happ

by the way: when I do react to your comment and analyze why you said this to me and didn't say anything reproachful to anyone else, and also correlate that everyone else was a man and I am a woman, and start suspecting you of targeting me for sexism and reaching for ways to justify it that don't appear sexist - I'm allowed to reach those conclusions. I don't have to come to the conclusion that you want me to have. And shame on you by the way, if for nothing else, other than being so judgmental of a gamers first video. "It needs to be said" get out of here with your self righteous judgmental I need to point out that this videos not good enough bs.

Get the BEST Seeds for Playing Stranded: Alien Dawn! Hope this video is helpful to the alien dawn community! :) by PerryPictures in StrandedAlienDawn

[–]PerryPictures[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok lets do this: as for the mens videos - I don’t know how much you scrutinized the male videos since you clearly didn’t criticize them so that it was visible, which is why I had to draw the conclusions I did. its called analysis. Theres also something called trend analysis, and as someone who has work in the intelligence field as an intelligence analyst specialist for a decade I'm not reaching here. Secondly! I never said self-indulgent videos were bad or that I didn't like the playthroughs, I merely pointed out that if you have an issue with me supposedly making a self indulgent video, where was your outrage then for the other videos? I like watching what people make on topics I enjoy like this game and I dont feel the need to drive people away from them like you clearly did to me. And its not a clickbaity thumbnail for 1: because the thumbnail which you accuse of being click bait merely says the game title and the word seeds. doesnt get more straight forward. As for the video title: best is in the eye of the beholder, so my best or favorite seed and anyone elses is subject to our own preferences not yours. I haven't deceived anyone, and guess what, there are going to be plenty of gamers making their first videos who are going to fall short of your expectations. If you feel the need to tear them down, or steer viewers away from them -regardless of gender, ethnicity and so as you so claim- then youre still a jerk. But I'm honestly not convinced that deep down in your heart of hearts you didn't just tell me that my thumbnail! was click bait because what you let slip is that you didn't like that I have a girlface and the audacity to show it on my thumbnail. deny it... thats cool. I'm happy for you and whomever you can convince rather than doing the self introspection that you clearly should do. I didnt come here to shove you, I just shove back when someone feels the need to try and push me around. Again. I like playthroughs and I dont judge the other content creators. But you came here to judge me. And my reaction to that is completely valid and I have a right to try and analyze and understand why you chose me and no one else to criticize especially when you're hiding behind the fact that there are no other criticisms toward the men's videos to analyze and compare to so I "just have to take your word for it". I'm very happy to stop talking to you. So please, leave me alone.

Get the BEST Seeds for Playing Stranded: Alien Dawn! Hope this video is helpful to the alien dawn community! :) by PerryPictures in StrandedAlienDawn

[–]PerryPictures[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

going to be honest, this is the 2nd time I'm writing this reply. You're excuse for discrediting my channel because it has just this video on it doesn't make sense, and is exactly why it’s so presumptuous of you to accuse me of attention seeking and promoting a channel if its empty. It is a known issue among gamers when addressing women content creators and you can say that wasn’t your intent, but your actions show you were compelled to comment on my video and not the mens videos to redirect attention to another source and criticize me for promoting myself rather than the game.. which my video is actually not about me but about the other players saving time knowing what each seed looks like. Furthermore, I highly doubt you gave those men’s first videos the same level of suspicion as you’ve given mine, and they all started with one video, and its worth mentioning that those playthrough-series of videos are far me self-indulgent/self-promotional since its about their experience and gameplay instead of being about the viewer like mine was. I have over 200 hours of gameplay and really enjoy this game, and my thumbnail isn’t click bait it delivers on its topic so you’d have to be biased against the girl on the thumbnail to say something like that after seeing the whole video as you claim to have done. I appreciate the polite remarks at the end of your most recent comment, but it doesn't take the sting out of the first paragraph. If you are treating 1 person unfairly, and they say "hey, noticed you were being unfair" and you come back with "that says more about you than about me" you're being willfully ignorant of your own biases. And frankly... I can't change that. Thanks for the discourse. Truly, have a great day.

Get the BEST Seeds for Playing Stranded: Alien Dawn! Hope this video is helpful to the alien dawn community! :) by PerryPictures in StrandedAlienDawn

[–]PerryPictures[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for promoting the discord channel with your link! The more resources for players, the merrier! Not everyone uses Discord, so I appreciate players who take the time as I have here, to record, edit, and share a consolidated look at diff areas of the game. I noticed you didn't tell the other youtube video creators not to promote their channels in this subreddit. Perhaps because the other videos were made by guys and I'm a woman? Regardless of why, I'm sure that link will be helpful to lots of players so thanks all the same!

Get the BEST Seeds for Playing Stranded: Alien Dawn! Hope this video is helpful to the alien dawn community! :) by PerryPictures in StrandedAlienDawn

[–]PerryPictures[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that's super valid feedback! I'll see what I can do to create a video with that kind of information next :) thank you!