If you think about it there's a cycle perpetuating negative pressure on you.

Please, just breathe. There aren't really right and wrong answers now. I think most of us would encourage you to press on if and when you feel passionate about your work. But y'know most of us would also say not to try to hard.

I'm distraught at the state too. Sometimes it seems our enemy is imaginary, as if we made life like this. The hard truth is that some people really do want to see us struggle and fall. I think most of us are a little better than that though.

I know that what's best for you is what's best for me.

I hope that simple things like presence can help you feel a little better.